April 22, 2008
Ninja Burglar Case Closed! (What's Albanian for Ninja?)
Holy nunchuks! The Staten Island Advance reports "the NYPD has quietly closed the book on Staten Island's so-called Ninja Burglar case, after authorities started deportation proceedings against at least one Albanian man they believe to be connected to the string of break-ins."
Before you wonder, "Hmm, should this have been called the 'Vampire Burglar' case?", please bear in mind that the Staten Island thief who was linked to nineteen separate burglaries typically wore a black costume, allegedly had nunchuks and was called a Ninja by a victim who saw him face-to-face. It's unclear if the Ninja costume had an Albanian flag on it.
According to the Advance, the police learned of the Albanian connection "when they learned that several men from the same area of Albania had formed a loosely knit crew to commit burglaries." And apparently they would wait for their fellow Albanian immigrants to "go out for cultural events, then strike their vacant homes."
NYPD Deputy Commissioner of Public Information Paul Browne said, "Investigators believe than an individual suspected (but with insufficient evidence to make an arrest) of being the burglar is among three Albanian nationals currently facing deportation because of their illegal status in the United States."
Wee Ninja by Shawnimals, as photographed for Elsewares
| 
Ninja pleeeze.
tnturner: Hahahaha...ridiculous.
tnturner,
Best. Post. 2008.
Comedy Platinum!
With a little note: vampires are from Transylvania and not Albania. TransylvANIA is part of RomANIA and it might rhyme with AlbANIA, but they're far enough that vampires don't jump the fence from one country to another.
Do you guys (who write articles) have a college degree? just curious.
don't get too excited, it's already on a t-shirt
So, at this point it seems that the ninja burglar case is closed. Sure, the evidence was a little weak, but the buglaries stopped when they deported those Albanians. That was good enough for Detective Stevens, who was getting ready to retire and was happy to go out on a high note. But, as he was cleaning out his desk, a certain detail came back to him, one that just didn't jibe.
The Albanians were framed. Heck, they were illegal anyway, so what was the difference? No, the real ninja burglar was someone on the inside, someone who was privy to the investigation all along...
Seymour Skinner: You wouldn't be getting a French boy, you'd be getting an Albanian.
Homer Simpson: You mean, all white with pink eyes?
Before you wonder, "Hmm, should this have been called the 'Vampire Burglar' case?"
Wow. Stupid.
Before you wonder, "Hmm, should this have been called the 'Vampire Burglar' case?"
Truly ridiculous, Gothamist.
You can be silly now and then, but you are above this lousy reportage.
Please, you guys can't take a joke?
Maybe a good one...
Oh, zing!
If one can't make fun of Albania, what can one make fun of? It's one of those weirdo European countries where all the men are gangsters and all the women are prostitutes, and no one even knows where it is.
As shown in my previous comment, personally I would have gone with the albino angle but to each his (or her) own.
Vampires are more closely associated with Transylvania, which is part of Romania.
@ bklynd:
damn, I thought I had that one nailed.
I don't come here for stupid articles by people who think Albania is Transylvania or that foreigners go around wearing their national flags.
This isn't the Post.
Ask any Italian. They will tell you that Albanians are vampires. So Jen Chung got it right after all.
Funny, 20 years ago, all the New York City Albanians I knew were wanna-be guido-gangsters and small-time thieves and criminals. I guess liberation has really helped their country! IS NICE EH,???
#6- LMAO
Hey Jen Chung,
I don't mean to be a stick in the mud. I can take a joke!
I love your writing style and I appreciate that Gothamist is here for my free use.
By coincidence, I am currently researching information on the Balkans for a project, and so many intelligent and friendly people in the Slavic and Albanian communities have assisted me. It's hard to find a reliable source of history on the subject.
It made me realize how little I know about them.
Albania! Albania! You border on the Adriatic!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-F_tT-q8EF0
I am a second generation Albanian, one who is neither a criminal nor a vampire. I also don't really get offended by ignorant people. That said, there is really some pretty racist stuff going on in this forum. I doubt the venom spewed would be as vitriolic if the offending ninjas were Puerto Rican or Jewish.
Then obviously you are not a Gothamist regular.