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His Holiness is the hottest ticket in town, and ANIMAL is showing the true audacity of the Pope by providing a high-res scan of a ticket to the street gallery for Pope Benedict's St. Patrick's Cathedral Mass tomorrow.
And there are some instructions:
Unfortunately, the original ticket-holder declined to send a proper full-size scan, so this will be an inexact process. It seems to be 7 3/8" wide by 3" tall; we're told there's some writing on the back about no backpacks and no bombs -- the usual security boilerplate. We don't know what kind of paper was used; we recommend printing yours on a decent white card stock.ANIMAL hopes to recreate a similar kind of chaos that their fake Heatherette tickets did, but the idea of fake tickets meeting NYPD, Secret Service and Swiss Guards sounds scary.
Non-ticket holders can try to catch a glimpse of Pope Benedict as he motors up Fifth Avenue, between 53rd Street and 70th Street. Here's a map.
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When the Gothamist piece about the tickets to the street gallery were shown to His Holiness in an attempt to get him to join in the fun and frolick, the effort backfired when Benedict immediately demanded his cut.
Attempts by the Cardinals to point out that it was a) a joke and b) a freebee did not placate the Pontiff, who immediately leapt up, slapped one Cardinal in the head, and yelled "F*** you, pay me!"
It was the second time today that Vaticanologists were shocked by the Pontiff's behavior, with one remarking, "Who knew he was such a Goodfellas fan?"
Crashing a pretentious fashion show? Funn-ay.
Crashing Mass? Tacky.
awesome idea! i hope someone rips off his human mask and reveals his true satanic face.
Bet the Secret Service really appreciate things like that...
Yo, I seriously wish the pope acted like that #1. "Fuck with me and I'll get all Council of Trent on your ass! reform this mothafucka! Pope Urban II WHAAAATTTT!!"
I get a kick out of the tone in the Slate article when the writer condescends to the party crashers, missing the point entirely.
I saw this on the news--the archdiocese's website offers the following info regarding the authenticity of tickets:
# Tickets to all events are free. Any tickets for sale on websites or through ticket brokers are fraudulent;
# Individuals who request tickets will be required to provide name, address, and date of birth;
# All tickets are NON-TRANSFERABLE. Adult ticket holders will be required to show government issued photo identification at the entrance to the event. Students will be required to show student identification cards
Congratulations Gothamist. You've just been excommunicated.
What's up with that image of the Pope on the ticket? It looks like his second arm is coming out of his crotch. Or else like that's someone else's arm.