LIRR Etiquette Vigilante Acquitted

Some funny new details emerged yesterday in the trial of the retired cop infamous for aggressively silencing noisy passengers on the Long Island Railroad. John Clifford stood accused of assaulting a woman whose hand he twice slapped in March 2007 after she tried to intervene in his scolding of cell-phone talker Nicholas Bender. And if Jerry Seinfeld is looking for material for his new TV series, he’s got all the fodder he needs in yesterday's courtroom farce:

We already knew that in trying to shame Bender into getting off the phone, Clifford called him a “f—king faggot.” But what was so important that Bender had to prattle on despite Clifford’s admonishments? Just his cousin's kidney failure is all.
Frequent LIRR commuter Donna DeCurtis testified against Clifford yesterday, telling the judge she’s "petrified" of him. In 2006, when DeCurtis brushed off Clifford’s instructions to pipe down, the former private eye said, “I know who you are. I know you have a daughter. I know where you live. I can make your life hell.”
Clifford knows for certain when other passengers are being too loud because he brings a noise meter with him on the train. He says the MTA is supposed to restrict any noise above 70 decibels, but “when you’re talking across the car it goes to 80 decibels.”
LIRR conductor David Carliovoch is well familiar with Clifford and testified that he’s “a pain in the ass.”
In the end, the judge acquitted Clifford of all charges, dismissing most of the testimony against him because all but one of the witnesses had "an ax to grind."
But before the ruling, the prosecutor said Clifford's behavior is like "a dog marking his territory. He is not a white knight. He is Darth Vader.”

Clifford says he’s more like Rosa Parks. Smoking a celebratory cigar outside the court, he compared himself to the civil rights trailblazer and told reporters, "I don't think I should be punished for maintaining my rights to be alone.” An LIRR rep expressed disappointment with the ruling, but the obvious solution here is for the railroad to provide Clifford with his own private soundproofed train car, where he won’t be subjected to any disruptions from the lower orders.

Photo: threecee

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By John Del Signore in News on April 9, 2008 11:11 AM

Comments [rss]

lucyvanpelt

Sorry for the long rant. Had a crappy commute today. Again. I'll go back into hiding now . . .

lucyvanpelt

To be fair, about 50% of the folks who talk loudly, take up more than one seat, etc. on the LIRR don't know they're being inconsiderate. For them, usually a comment like "Um, are you sure you want everyone to hear this?" will snap them back to reality.

The other 50% are inconsiderate arsools. Like the ones who take up three seats during the a.m. rush--one for their bag, one for their breakfast buffet, and one for their fat, fat keester. And when you ask them to move their garbage so that you can sit, they play all coy and cute and ask you to sit "somewhere else." Well, no, because there are NO OTHER SEATS LEFT IN THE CAR, dingus.

And we're headed into the worst time of the year, now that baseball season has begun. And, yes, I am a Mets fan, but that doesn't mean that I get tanked from crappy beer sold on the platform before I even board the train and then yell my side of the conversation to my buds (at least three rows away) the entire trip out to Shea. I wonder if those guys know that as soon as they get off the train, the rest of the passengers cheer.

Anyway, a long way of saying that I agree with many of the guy's motives, but his follow-through could use some, erm, refinement.

The LIRR makes me miss the N train I took when I lived in Astoria during the '90s (really).

Steven

I ride the Metro North and during the weekdays the train is fairy quiet sometimes even dead silent during the morning and evening rush. On the weekends it's another story with people talking loudly on their cell phones and children yelling and being bored.

bklynd

Once I found out the guy insists on lying down on five seats, and refuses to move away from annoying people because he won't be able to score another open five, I concluded that he should be shot.

Kingpin

20, it's probably overzealous people like Clifford who have instilled a sense of fear into the conductors about doing anything beyond a public announcement for fear of being sued for supposedly breaking someone's rights, or the first amendment.

JRod, I'm sure Rosa is spinning in her grave to hear she's be compared to that SOB, talk about diminishing her accomplishments.

I hope that stuff he said about that lady's daughter was just hot air... otherwise, that's rather creepy... and could be considered a threat.

Murray Hillster

Every train should devote a decent percentage (30%?) to quiet cars and have conductors who enforce the rules.

The Amtrak quiet cars are fantastic, and I was thrilled when the conductors (at least on the trains I've been on recently) began to actively enforce the rules (they were a little lazy at first).

I see Clifford's point, but like others, I think his methods are out of control.

Kojak

As well as those work in other countries interlard, unfortunately New Yorkers are a special breed of asshole that won't really pay attention to quiet car notices.

lfreilly

The guy took up FIVE SEATS. That's so much worse than anything he complained the other passengers were doing.

JRod5417

I can't get over his self-comparison to Rosa Parks! Jack*ss.

ed_Extinct

i always want to be alone on a public train filled wth people.

interlard

Other train companies provide "quiet cars" where cellphones and loud talking are banned. If you want peace & quiet, you can choose to sit there. If you want to chat with friends & yell into your cellphone go elsewhere.

People just need choices. Then we can all just get along. Amirite?

Gentrifier

but the obvious solution here is for the railroad to provide Clifford with his own private soundproofed train car, where he won’t be subjected to any disruptions from the lower orders.

Here in the yew ess of ay, we like to call those things "automobiles."

HalfJapanese

I think the funny part was when they mentioned that the guy carries a noise meter with him. It always cracks me up every time I see one of those.....

frost

^^^ hahaha. I think they have their hands full policing the 7 train..

lil bit

too bad the rude police didnt do anything about people clipping their nails on the train...

frost

I want a cellphone jammer. LIRR riders are so f'n rude. Trust me, ride the train for a week. You'll want to cram that nokia up someones ass faster then your liberal hippie ass will play a game of devil's advocate.

kittyempire

"Some funny new details emerged yesterday in the trial of the retired cop infamous for aggressively silencing noisy passengers on the Long Island Railroad."

I'm not sure which part of this story you find so funny. Calling someone a "f_cking f_ggot"? Or is it the part about slapping a woman? Interesting word choice.

matty

no you're not. I was thinking the same thing.

janelle

am i the only person who thinks this guy is totally awesome? i would like to hire him next time my neighbors throw a party.

Peter

Being an LIRR rider, I can say that a big part of the problem is that the conductors are way too lax when it comes to enforcing rules of civilized behavior. Sure, they make rote announcements about talking softly on cell phones, but when someone is actually babbling away at high volume, annoying everyone else in the car, it's a safe bet that the conductor will do nothing. It's almost as if they try to avoid confrontations whenever possible.

Dave Hogarty

A pair of noise-canceling headphones or a $.40 set of ear plugs would have solved all of Clifford's problems, and to everyone else's satisfaction as well. Except it's not the bother of the noise that really motivates this man; it's his getting off on belligerently intimidating people who are smaller than he is, and doing so in the name of his "rights." Clifford is a world class douchebag.

amsci

Fritz:

"IT'S ONLY WAFER THIN!"

amsci

[9] and [12]

I'm sure the large gentleman in front of him is listening to his headphones at a very reasonable level. ;)

Fritzdecat

The guy in Jerk stores picture looks like hes going to explode like Mr. Creosote

allie25

the judge is probably a cranky old fart, too.

moonyap

The new Seinfeld show is all rumors. Jerry is too rich and lazy to bother, and thats probably better for everyone. Curb stole the thunder, B-movie ads drove everyone to the brink, the wife plagarism was embarrassing, and he doesn't need his 'brand' weakend by a mediocre network failure.

theevilone

The LIRR should introduce quiet cars like Amtrak has. That way, all the idiots can sit together and yap on their cell phones, seeing who can be louder than the rest.

allie25

jerk store-

that picture IS hilarious, for several reasons.

EricRoberts

That makes perfect sense. All I need to do is piss off everyone around me, and no one's testimony will be admissible in court.

XxSuntoucherxX

Before moving to the city and having had to sit through hours on the LIRR, I can definitely see where he's coming from. Some of the people on the LIRR are just downright nasty. (Dirty, rude, obnoxious, thoughtless, careless, filthy, belligerent, and sick.) On the other side, he John is completely crazy for the stuff he's (now)gotten away with(again). Basically he's just as guilty. Oh well, I'm going with PT on this one, I'm glad I don't have to ride it anymore.

Jerk Store

Mr. Clifford apparently took the subway post-trial. For some reason, this picture is pretty hilarious:

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2008/04/08/nyregion/08train02-650.jpg

matty

It's contradictory to yell at someone for speaking too loudly.

Jen S

While I disagree with his methods, I see his point. People act so self-important on their cell phones. Sure, we can't be alone in a city, but we don't need to hear all the loud, dumb conversations around us.

Pizza_Time

The judge dropped the ball on this one.

He should not have condoned his behavior. "Axe to grind" ???? You mean, like most people in court? WTF?. I guess there are benifits being a retired cop, spineless judges will still kiss your ass.

Now one day someone will beat the crap out of Clifford.

And they will get grief for giving him a beating he truly deserves, because the justice system fails once again.

Just glad I don't ride the LIRR

The Edge

Why no one just tosses his ass out the train is beyond me.

suepart

he should come to the LES and nolita and soho and whomp on all the idiots who keep blabbering on their cell phones about nothing.

"oh i'm at the market, nothing, choosing oranges, hmm, this one is good, oh did you hear about...etc etc"

shut up!!!!

mocanlagunas

"the obvious solution here is for the railroad to provide Clifford with his own private soundproofed train car, where he won’t be subjected to any disruptions from the lower orders."

Can I have one too?

What a moron, if he wants to be alone, stay at home. It's called a city...

JacqueMehoff

he's just as bad as the people he harasses.

didn't the judge figure that out?

patleeman

That guy is such a douche bag. If he wants to be alone he should drive, or just be a hermit. There is no way in hell you are going to be alone anywhere in public in NYC. What a putz.