Extra, Extra

Untitled photo of ship arriving to unload bulk cargo in Red Hook, BK by JamesWolberg at flickr

Today on the Gothamist Newsmap: a double stabbing on White Plains Rd. in the Bronx, a person struck by a train at 36th St. and 4th Ave. in Brooklyn, and an elevator rescue at 110th St. and Amsterdam Ave. in Manhattan.
Ashley Dupre's Spitzer-ending story has slipped off the front pages so quickly it's doubtful any early projections of a windfall from her story will materialize. If only there was some high-paying job for a good looking young woman with few compunctions about selling her body for cash.
Soon one will be able to experience the gritty demi-monde of the Bowery, without all the disgusting drunks and hobos. If someone opens a cutesy coffee and dessert shop called McGuirk's Suicide Hall, we expect it will be ground zero of the revolution.
Setting perhaps the worst paternal precedent of all time, a Staten Island expectant father was arrested for groping a 16-year-old relative while his wife was at the hospital giving birth to his first child.
Two Newark airport workers were arrested for smuggling cocaine into the States from Colombia and Ecuador.
Sean Bell's parents had to rush from the courtroom as a doctor described in graphic detail how four bullets killed their son.
Whoops! That sniper attack that was burned into Hillary Clinton's brain when she landed in war-torn Bosnia, it was the first mis-remembrance the candidate's had in 12 years. The Fog of War and Campaigning.
Just so everyone's clear, if Paterson gets bounced from the Governor's office, it will be Gov. Joe Bruno until November.

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By Dave Hogarty in Miscellaneous on March 25, 2008 6:15 PM

Comments [rss]

Tim N.

He will, #8, he will.

Richard Nixon used to refer to Spiro Agnew as his "assassination insurance." Sounds like Patterson has much the same thing.

aydiosmio

A+++ would laugh again. I see what you did there Dave. Keep up the good work.

Also, Paterson seems like a fun governor. I really hope he serves out his term.

pissyrabbit

The photo is gorgeous. Bravo James Wolberg!

llama

I got the joke, Dave. Don't be discouraged because of one deficient reader.

mdow

dave, really, it's funny *if someone is smart enough to understand* that it's supposed to be funny; please don't lower your standards so that every tool in the city can understand it, unless you're really just auditioning for a job at the post.

Dave Hogarty

Thank you zstone. And tourists from Europe are the new bulk cargo on the NYC waterfront. That was another attempt at humor that fell miserably flat. I'll be here all week, thanks!

zstone

That was the joke, Peter.

Spiny

Er...that's not a "ship arriving to unload bulk cargo." It's the Queen Mary 2.

Peter

If only there was some high-paying job for a good looking young woman with few compunctions about selling her body for cash.

There is - it's called "selling her body for cash."