March 18, 2008
Fox Newsroom in Midtown Besieged by Bed Bugs
Guests at Fox News now have more to worry about than Bill O’Reilly’s barking; there are also bed bugs biting. A senior vice president for operations and engineering at Fox News had nothing better to do yesterday than speak to the biased, freedom-hating New York Times about the situation, confirming that the Manhattan newsroom discovered the problem a few weeks ago, when an employee “caught a bug and showed it to us.”
Bedbugs are adept at hitchhiking to new locales in the pockets and clothing creases of their human hosts, so it’s not surprising that they’ve managed to infiltrate Fox, where patriotic Alpha-male hot blood surges in abundance. An exterminator called in to Fox said that one unnamed employee’s apartment has “the worst infestation he had seen in 25 years in the business.”
It’s still unclear whose apartment the exterminator referred to, but bed bugs have been known to savor the blood (and furry protection) of male bears. Fox swears the bed bugs have been “totally eradicated,” but the annoying thing about bed bugs is their tenacious ability to survive for months between feedings, and in some cases they can live up to a year before sucking blood again. The bed begs have clearly refused to let New Yorkers rest, but their sudden infiltration of Dick Cheney's favorite news source can mean only one thing: Al Qaeda training.
UPDATE: A tipster tells Gawker that the employee who caused the bedbug infestation has been terminated; he's described as "a satellite desk guy who was greasy and gross." Is that even legal? If New Yorkers can now be fired for a bed bug infestation, then the bed bugs have already won.
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O'Reilly can just get a loofah to clean off any bedbugs.
A pox of crabs/crotch crickets on Faux News.
Super high-priced law firm Cravath, Swain, and Moore also got bedbugs in their Worldwide Plaza headquarters on 8th Avenue.
Are these bugs are illegal aliens? Did Geraldo do it?
What's with the sarcasm in the post? Very unprofessional.
Can we get a caption on the photo so we know which is which, please?
"What's with the sarcasm in the post? Very unprofessional."
It's probably difficult to be professional when the phrase "Bill O'Reilly" comes up. I know that personally, whenever that douchebag's name comes up, I lose all hope of professionalism and ...
HULK SMASH BUG O'REILLY'S HEAD!!!
See? Good thing I've never met the guy in the streets.
Fox News Bites!
so... many... possible... vermin/bloodsucker jokes... ahhhhhhhhh
oh preaching to the choir, will you ever get old?
Is that O'Reilly in the picture? I haven't watched television in a while, and fox is just too darn loud; people are always shouting at each other. The news programs my grandparents watch, everyone must be scared, or angry, or surprised, because they always have a reason to raise their voices. Can you imagine living with, or dating one of these people? Forget about bringing the bed bugs home, is it possible for them to talk in a quiet voice?
Politics:
Poly meaning many
Ticks meaning blood sucking parasites
Ann Coulter is the #1 suspect.
That vermin looks very disgusting. The bedbug doesn't look any better either.
"What's with the sarcasm", GOP? You are kidding me. Fox News is Fox News. All I can say is HA HA!
that truly makes my day!
viva la bedbug!!