PARADE: The St. Patrick's Day Parade will kick the day off in a wash of green, starting before noon. Grab some green bagels, some green eggs and ham and some green beer before joining a rowdy crew in the festivities. The streets are alive with the sounds of bagpipes!

11 a.m. // starts at 44th St and 5th Ave, ends at 86th St // Free

PARADE PROTEST: As the parade moves forward on 44th St, a protest of that parade will be not too far away on 57th St. Why protest a parade? They don’t allow any LGBT Irish groups to join in on the march! The Irish Queers will be trying to change that today, join them...even Bloomberg has slammed the traditional parade for discriminating.

11 a.m. // starts at 57th St and 5th Ave // Free

READING: Looking for something a bit more high-minded than shotgunning green brewskies tonight? Head over to the Tenement Museum to see Brooklyn author Robert Sullivan and "two of Ireland’s brightest literary lights [Colm Toibin and Colum McCann] in a discussion of their work and Ireland’s place in global literature."

6:30 p.m. // Tenement Museum Shop [108 Orchard St] // RSVP required to events(at)tenement.org

THEATER: For their hotly anticipated next trick, the fruit of over 18 months of experimentation, Elevator Repair Service will present a stage adaptation of The Sound and the Fury, William Faulkner’s story of a tragically undone Mississippi family. Gatz, their word-for-word marathon adaptation of The Great Gatsby was mesmerizing, so expect their surprising theatrical ingenuity to open fresh perspectives on Faulkner. The show opens at New York Theater Workshop on April 15th, but tonight the troupe will perform an excerpt from the piece at CUNY, to be followed by a discussion with company artistic director John Collins and others on the topic of "exploring the excitement and challenge of modernist literary adaptation." – John Del Signore

6:30 p.m. // Martin E. Segal Theatre, CUNY [365 Fifth Ave @ 34th St] // Free

MUSIC: Tonight catch some real Irish rock at B.B. King's as Black 47 take the stage. The band "espouses an unblinkingly political and thoroughly Irish form of rock 'n' roll, with songs covering topics from the Northern Ireland conflict to civil rights and urban unrest in contemporary New York."

7 p.m. // B.B. King Blues Club & Grill [237 West 42nd St] // $25

COMEDY: Liam McEneaney was recently hailed by The NY Post for putting on one of the best comedy shows in New York. Tonight he's having a special St. Patrick's Day show called "The Slightly Racist St. Patty's Day Spectacular." Corned beef and cabbage are promised, as is a traditional Irish folk band called...The Leprechaunquistadors. Hosted by Andres DuBouchet and Mike Birch and featuring Eric Drysdale, Erin Foley, Fiona Walsh and McEneaney himself.

8 p.m. // Lolita [116 Broome St] // Free

TV: Avoid the drunken masses and spend the night on your couch. Tonight PBS airs the television premiere of Home. "Young Dubliner Alan Cooke reflects on his recent immigration to New York City, contemplating the concept of home and the ever changing cosmopolis." With Liam Neeson, Susan Sarandon, Mike Myers, Alfred Molina, Colin Quinn, Rosie Perez, Pete Hamill, Frank McCourt, Malachy McCourt, Fran Lebowitz, Elaine Kaufman, Drew Nieporent, David Amram and many more.

9 p.m. // PBS // Free

Photo via Lab2112's Flickr.

The listed events were chosen by Gothamist and brought to you by the 2009 Toyota Corolla.