February 25, 2008
Kraft Frozen Bagels Will Soon Come with Cream Cheese
Tired of squandering your mornings laboriously spreading cream cheese on your freshly defrosted bagel? Kraft Foods, Inc. is here to blast you and your breakfast into the 21st century, with their new line of frozen bagels that come pre-filled with cream cheese!
They’re called Bagel-Fuls, and they’re expected to hit stores in April after an “integrated” marketing campaign that’s sure to feature commercials with New York “characters” hailing this new revolution in bageldom, maybe the way Domino's did with Brooklyn Pizza.
Bagel-Fuls (not pictured) will come with cream cheese in regular and cinnamon flavors to start with, but at this point it’s unclear how the bagels will be defrosted, since microwaved cream cheese sounds rather revolting. Smuckers recommends Uncrustables, the frozen peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches, just defrost for 30-60 minutes before eating.
New Yorkers can be expected to greet the new product with a Bronx cheer at first, but with bagel prices skyrocketing and people just being lazy, the two-in-one combo could soon have them crawling to Kraft. How much would you pay to try Kraft's latest culinary innovation?
[Via So Good.]
|
How fucking lazy do you have to be to defrost a bagel or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Unless the bagel comes with a midget to beat you with a stick and knock the carbs out of your chin, I think I'll pass on this one.
There already is an outstanding bagel that comes with cream cheese on it. At Zabar's, for less than $5 you can get a pre-made bagel with cream cheese and a generous helping of lox and an olive in the center. It might be the best bagel and lox deal in NY.
"Squagels!!
Don't be opressed by the tyranny of round, man!
Your generation has a new shape bagel!"
I'm gagging, Miss Thing.
Given what Kraft probably calls a bagel and what passes for bagels outside of New York (Toronto for some reason has good bagels) we know that this will be absolute rubbish.
Plus most of the time we wind up putting stuff other than cream cheese on the bagel (melted cheddar cheese and tomato with Vegemite goes great on a pumpernickel bagel) or actually eat the bagel plain (provided it is hot and fresh and maybe sesame).
The other day I saw a commercial for a frozen ham and cheese sub...how lazy can you be that you cant even make your own sandwich....this is the worst
Cinnamon cream cheese? Puh-leeze.
Let's be real... this is closer to a Cinnabon, not a bagel.
See what happens when Republicans start making ethic foods? ;-)
Crossanwich, part II.
These already exist, from "New York" bakers in Florida. However, they were savvy enough to get rid of the complicated, baffling round shape, and opted for a cream-filled stick instead. Hmm, gushy:
http://www.bagelers.com/
So gross.
#5 - Toronto (and Montreal) have good bagels because there are lots of Jews there.
Also, you'd have to be one dumb fucking goy to eat one of these Kraft things.
Frozen bagels are and always will be a disappointment, cream Cheese or no.
"From the people who brought you cereal with milk already in the box!"
(rolls eyes...)
cereal and milk in the box was the best thing ever invented. don't hate!
I realize that I am curmudgeon, and a prejudiced jerk. That being said, a good bagel can't be frozen, stuffed and the reheated. It isn't the same. Hit Murray's or Bergen, and get a fresh bagel, warm out of the oven and then add cream cheese, pb or whatever your preference. Why bother with this BS?
Boy, lots of bagel snobs here, but keep in mind not everyone is privileged to be within walking distance of David's Bagels on 1st and 14th. BTW (pfftt) Murray's and Ess-a-Bagel's taste like play dough in comparison...
No love for H&H?