READING: Never got around to reading that Burt Reynolds autobiography? Tonight the stars are out read it to you at Celebrity Autobiography ("the long running L.A. comedy sensation, as seen on Bravo TV, finally comes to New York"). Cheyenne Jackson, Kristin Johnston, Richard Kind, Jackie Hoffman will read from autobiographies the aforementioned Mr. Renyolds, Loni Anderson, Kenny Loggins and Liz Taylor.

7:30pm // The Triad [158 W 72nd St] // $35-45

THEATER: Phoenix Theatre ensemble co-founder Angela Madden is currently starring in C.E.O. & Cinderella, her “brutally honest self-portrait of life spent climbing to the top in Manhattan.” Madden spent years working as a secretary for some very high-profile executives, including an unnamed former World Bank C.E.O. Her darkly comic one-woman show charts her journey from I-Hop waitress to her employment by a Texas oil heir and her time spent in the boardrooms and bedrooms of some of the most powerful men in New York. – John Del Signore

8pm // Connelly Theatre [220 E 4th St] // Tickets cost $20

MUSIC: De Novo Dahl (pictured), the quirky Nashville band, takes the stage at Pianos tonight...and tomorrow night...and the night after that. They're also squeezing in a free performance at Sound Fix tomorrow evening. Catch 'em while you can.

8pm // Pianos [158 Ludlow St] // $8

COMEDY: Tonight Brett Gelman, Eugene Mirman, Reggie Watts and Kumail Nanjiani are at UCB. You can still reserve tickets to the free show, called Cavalcade!, here. The Human Giant crew will also be there, but only in spirit and on celluloid -- as some of their new vignettes are shown.

11pm // UCB Theater [307 W 26th St] // Free

The listed events were chosen by Gothamist and brought to you by the 2009 Toyota Corolla.