Even Crazy People Need Roommates

Are you looking for a beautiful West Village apartment? Craigslist comes through with a listing for a "Beautiful bedroom available in 2br/2ba WITH PRIVATE BATH" for just $1350/month. There's even a living room! But you can't really use it...in fact, you probably shouldn't plan on ever being in the apartment lest you want the stink eye from roommate and Tito (pictured?). Here it is apartment hunters, the highlights:

The apartment has a decent sized living space (combined with a small kitchen) that you will have use of. There is no sofa, chair, or television, as I am an artist and I use this space as my studio. You are free to stand around and look at my art, though!

Your room has newly restored hardwood floors and plenty of space for a twin bed. The room has great lighting and is very bright. The only small drawback is that there is no window.

You will have shared use of the closet -- you will be sharing the space with my very sweet cat Tito. Your bathroom is ensuite, windowless, and has a shower stall instead of a tub, but it's still a great bonus. The only drawback is that there is no sink or toilet.

We particularly love how she prefaces every single bad thing with a great highlight, like how the windowless bedroom is very bright.

Oh, by the way, you must be a female kosher vegan, and your future roommate will simply not tolerate you being home during the day as she works on her masterpieces. If you're sick and feel the need to stay in your windowless cell of a bedroom, think twice, she suggests you "go be sick at one of the many gorgeous cafes, restaurants, bars, and shops that this great area has to offer." In fact, being home at nights isn't encouraged either, so if you're a slutty female kosher vegan who "frequently sleeps elsewhere" she might even overlook that bad credit score.

Contact the author of this article or email tips@gothamist.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By Jen Carlson in Arts & Entertainment on January 17, 2008 11:01 PM

Comments [rss]

isfullofcrap

Hi Tanna!

JMH

That cat clearly can has some cheeseburgers.

Elderta

What a weird world. I sometimes hang out at Edloe Island in Second Life which is run by Crap Mariner, aka Laurence. Edloe Island is very fun. Went to a great concert there over the weekend.

Hi Crap!

From Tanna

Aveais Essex

JERRY: What about the breathing, the panting, the moaning, the screaming?

ELAINE: Fake, fake, fake, fake.

isfullofcrap

Armchair_warrior:

Actually, that's a real photo.

Edloe used to sneak up in my wife's chair and sit up in it.

But she wasn't as fat as the photo suggests. Sure, she was fat, but not THAT fat.

-ls

burgerdeluxe

I'm pretty sure in NYC that a "bedroom" has to have a window to the outside, even if it's a basement apt.

smitty

yo, they the word gullible isn't in the dictionary.

emilydickinson

I once answered a roomate wanted ad, and when I went to see the apartment the woman told me the kitchen was 'abandoned'. This basically meant that at some point she decided the effort to clean and use it was too much.

matty

In New York, Apartment lives in You!

ed_Extinct

reminds me of this one, which by the way is hilarious: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2007/3/16sweeney.html

sandradayoconnor

I would laugh at how obviously fake this is if I didn't used to have a roommate that fits this description to a tee. Except for the artist part. My old roommate was a kosher vegan female writer.

We were not allowed to talk to her before 12 noon, and when we were allowed to talk to her, it couldn't be about anything mundane, because she "carried her book around in her head all the time, and speaking to her about trivial matters would interfere with her novel." She would also periodically go through the fridge and throw all of our food away because it wasn't kosher and was contaminating her food (none of us were Jews and she didn't state this as a requirement when she moved in).

I swear to God, I would have absolutely no trouble believing that this post is real and written by my old roommate, who is the craziest bitch I have ever met in my entire life.

kearnj

Still funny nevertheless, why do you all cry about it being fake? OMG FAKE!111

the3rdbridge

Is it still available???

stollef

You've been had, Jen. Take it off. Take it ALL off.

REALITY CHECK

Beware of rooming with strangers through Craiglist. Even if they seem nice and normal, they have the uncanny ability to change at a moment's notice, and wreak total havoc on your life and those close to you. Screen very carefully.

tnturner

Fuck Nick. Does he rape for kicks too?

Get laid faggot.

Actually, gimme his addy...

anonques

Yea. The guy who posted it works with me. His name is Nick. Here's his site with some of the responses he got: http://duckumu.livejournal.com

NYDirk

The cat is Edloe (1991 - 2005) of Houston, TX.

http://www.catster.com/cats/57957

He belonged to Laurence Simon of isfullofcrap.com

http://laurence.isfullofcrap.com/