January 16, 2008
Cloverfield Review: Run, Yuppie, Run!
The last sentence uttered before all hell breaks loose is, “Forget about the rest of the world and hold onto the ones you care about.” Though probably unintentional, those words of brotherly advice – spoken to a lovesick young yuppie named Rob – perfectly sum up the prevalent attitude in fin de siècle New York: the world’s spinning into a cataclysm of total war and catastrophic climate change, but fuck it; let’s party and get ours. And in Cloverfield, the well-connected young Manhattanites at the story’s center do indeed get theirs, just not the way Gossip Girl said they would.
And boy is it a blast to watch them get it. From the first shaky, handheld frame, looking out of a deluxe apartment in the Time Warner Center onto Central Park, you’ll be itching for it, and as you’re forced to sit through their totally boss going-away party for Rob – all seen through one bro’s sloppily-handled video camera – the anticipation becomes almost unbearable. By the time that massive beast slouches toward lower Manhattan, bowling the head of the Lady Liberty with a nonchalance befitting the Bush administration, you’ll be almost as bloodthirsty as the monster.
It’s no accident that Cloverfield, which opens Friday, is not seen through the eyes of social workers and busboys. Our heroes here are the self-absorbed young Turks buying the condos, crowding the Meatpacking district and pricing the rest of us out of town – and as depicted in Cloverfield they can be just a little annoying at times. (Especially the cameraman.) This absence of empathy is screenwriter Drew Goddard’s smartest move in what turns out to be a very smart script – with this much relentless tension in a movie, it’s nice not to care so much about the monster’s quarry. And the action is so brutally immediate you'll actually be much more concerned with saving your own skin.
Cloverfield is exactly the engrossing, top-shelf disaster porn we’d hoped for. (Whether post-9/11 New Yorkers will flock to see their city destroyed for entertainment is another question; the I Am Legend response suggests yes.) Producer J.J. Abram’s risky gambit to make a monster movie solely from the vantage point of victims on the ground, “to see it not from God’s eye or a director’s or from an omnipotent point of view” succeeds in spades. But be warned; the footage is entirely handheld and we’re very, very glad we didn’t see it with a hangover. Spoilers galore after the jump and our interview with director Matt Reeves here.
For those just joining the hypemachine, the premise of Cloverfield is that you’re watching a tape recovered by the military in Central Park in an unspecified future, documented by a dwindling quintet of friends running from a massive, malevolent beast unleashing an army of horrid, Labrador-sized scorpion creatures who skitter through town biting any survivors who don’t get stomped by mommy. These buggers are nasty.
After an attempt to evacuate via the Brooklyn Bridge is foiled when the structure spectacularly collapses, they scramble back to Manhattan, one less in number. Through this entire first act, the monster’s glimpsed only fleetingly, but the action is wholly gripping and at times very funny; when the Statue of Liberty’s head rolls to a stop in the middle of a downtown street, a crowd of cellphone videographers immediately gather to get some killer Youtube footage.
Instead of joining the herd of refugees marching downtown, the gang of four turns uptown, where Rob’s would-be girlfriend has called for help after being trapped by falling debris. In one of the film’s more remarkable special effects, they walk through the subway tunnel from Spring Street to 59th Street in about ten minutes, only to find one tower of the Time Warner center leaning despondently against the other. As the monster savages buildings all around them, they miraculously manage to rescue the affluent ingénue but… well, you kind of already know how it all ends by this point – Cloverfield “spoils” itself in the opening frame with a title card explaining where the footage was found!
But that doesn’t matter; it’s a thrilling ride with flawless special effects and, in the final minutes, one really sweet monster money shot sure to leave every fan boy in the house breathless. Our only real gripe is, couldn’t the monster have at least smashed a couple Starbucks and Duane Reades? We've got enough of those to last us through any apocalypse.
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we have seen the enemy and it is very pretentious
Hah! I like the SB/DR jab at the end.
"And boy is it a blast to watch them get it." Are you kidding? Tone is a matter of taste, I guess, but, to me, you write with the voice of a dorky teenage girl... Maybe it's the excessive use of exclamation points... hmmm... there's also something of an imitation-Stephen King in the faux-conversational bits... fascinating how one can be so annoying in such a seemingly innocuous post...
So, what you're saying is that J.J. Abrams is going to be Cloverfielding some calls from Oscar? Ge-ge-ge.
Watch out. This is a Abrams movie, which means awesome setup and letdown ending. although dying hipsters are awesome.
is cloverfield paying for this much promotion?
So was that rendering the other day the actual monster?
What makes them hipsters?
an interview with the director and a good review of the movie posted on the same day? really man?
@ MT: Affirmative.
oh yeah! and the rendering of that monster that was posted a few days ago. cloverfield is hitting their key demo HARD with this whole gothamist promotion.
well done, marketing folks.
This review completely ruined the movie for anyone who had planned to see it. If you've seen the commercials, a great deal of care has been made to keep the nature of the 'disaster' in Manhattan a secret. My girlfriend sent me this review and deeply regrets it, because I've been wanting to see this movie for weeks. But not now. You've told us that it's a monster, and you showed us the freaking pictures. Did you give away the Crying Game too? I guess you're assuming that your readership is too sophisticated to be excited by something as silly as suspense. But you're wrong. You just caused the people who made the film the money from two adult tickets and you've really screwed up our weekend. Additionally, you've cost your own publication two readers. Congratulations! Your irresponsibility has paid off for everyone.
Tom... after reading the review it doesn't sound like you're missing all that much.
Tim, my point is that it isn't for someone else to decide whether or not I see a movie. Unfortunately the Gothamist has decided to make that decision for me by spoiling the film.
Obviously the Gothamist has determined that this isn't a good movie. Instead of merely telling me that, it has gone the extra step of sabotaging the film itself. That's an arrogant and irresponsible way to write film reviews.
i can't wait to watch cloverfield while sipping my bokaj vodka. bokaj, works every time.
I saw Cloverfield last night at a screening Paramount held at 68th and Bway theater, and trust me, this movie delivers the goods. I sat too close to the screen and got naseous halfway through because its filmed all handheld.
You've never seen anything like it.
Its the new Grandaddy of disaster films.
If I could but stock in Cloverfield I would, because once it opens its gonna be HUGE.
If you've seen the commercials, a great deal of care has been made to keep the nature of the 'disaster' in Manhattan a secret.
And if you've seen the theatrical trailer, you'd know that they aren't actually taking a great deal of care at all. In fact, any care that they've taken is only to create spoiler-related hype.
Tom:
Spoilers galore after the jump! And our interview with director Matt Reeves here.
if you or your girlfriend had actually read the article, then maybe you wouldn't be bitching about reading the article...
Really, Tom? Really? Is your life really that sad that your whole entire weekend is ruined because someone told you it was a monster movie (something which, by the way, you could've figured out for yourself if you were really that into seeing the film)? Are you really NOT going to see the movie because you found out this detail??? Sounds to me like it is your girlfriend you should blame... the one dumb enough to send you the review.
But don't you worry about the filmmakers. After the screening I just saw, they aren't gonna be missing your two measly adult tickets from the cash they'll be raking in.
"Hipsters Escape from New York"
Thank you, vlucca. Thank you.
I read the whole thing (even after reading "spoilers galore after the jump") and I still wanna go and see it...
This is strictly IMHO... and I coulx be totally, totally off the reservation here... but there is something about this whole film and buildup that just rubs me the wrong way.
Not that I don't think the premise and way it's shot is clever (I guess it is), but this just seems like this is a film about NYC shot by someone who knows nothing about NYC except what one could garner from a postcard. Now JJ Abrams and his team could have grown up in the West Village or the East Bronx for all I know, but as a NYer, I just want to walk up to a bunch of people on line and say, You know this is full of shit, right?
People used to say, disdainfully, that Woody Allen's films represent like 1/2 of 1% of New Yorkers... but at least they were the people you sort of wanted to be, on some level. You'd look at the leadup to this and think the only folks who live here are the selfish, self-indulgent, shallow soulless sorts that have arrived of late... without the wit or neuroses of Woody's folks.
Plus, blowing up New York... it's a cheap trick. Been there, done that, lived through the real thing, don't obsess on it, but don't think it's cute or clever, either.
This could be my final lockdown into grumpy-old-man-dom, but I think it says something when the whole reason for going to a monster movie is to root for the monster, who happens to be ripping apart your hometown.
Whatever. Like I said, I could be totally wrong. The film will make a billion damn dollars anyway. Vayas con dios.
I'd pay to see Godzilla attack Max Fish on a Saturday night. That would be brilliant.
They need all the hype to generate a huge opening week because revenues will drop once the reviewers and moviegoers realize what a major suckfest it is.
Opening week or bust!
They need all the hype to generate a huge opening week because revenues will drop once the reviewers and moviegoers realize what a major suckfest it is.
cloverfield was the worst movie i have ever seen and should never go and see it. it is a waste of time and i dont get why people would like a movie that is that bad. DONT EVER GO AND SEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!