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New Year's Eve wasn't all confetti, LED-lit crystal balls and...diapers; despite the impression Dick Clark gives to the world at large, there's always just as much excess, overcrowding and diminished expectations to be found outside of Times Square on Amateur Night.
Last night we received a tip from Gawker containing this link about post-NYE detritus in one of those sleek Williamsburg condos. There was spilled wine, a hole in the wall and an unused tampon left on the couch! Crazy, right? The mess was so unmanageable that the hostess had no choice but to summon the maid and blog about it while the glitter was scrubbed from the hardwood floors. She's demanding the guests reimburse her for the cleaning service, but since she writes for Gawker Media, maybe she'll get a cut of the page view paycheck to help defray the clean-up costs?
Take a look at the photos and let us know what you think: Should the rowdy bastards have shown some restraint and maybe refrained from pouring champagne "from the second floor into Callie's mouth on the first floor"? Or is this degree of decadence to be expected after the hostess herself puked and passed out mid-party? And what happened to her date?
New Year's Eve in New York does have a tendency to turn into a nightmare, what with the hassle of getting a cab, a bartender's attention or even some basic human dignity. We got a tip from one of our own who made reservations for a prix fixe dinner at Italian restaurant PT, only to find the establishment shuttered upon arrival. What's the worst that happened to you, besides too much Ryan Seacrest?
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She is stupid, and a drunk. Pay for it yourself, and get to AA. What a loser.
if you pass out at your own party just be glad your apt is still standing.
Don't put a condom on unless you plan on having sex...
that's an o.b. tampon on my couch. For you boys that don't know, those are the kind you have to finger yourself to use. I don't use them because I don't wash my hands after I use the bathroom
Ick.
What a tool. If she'd remained conscious, she could have acted like a responsible host and starting kicking people out. How does such a drunken loser even afford a place like that? Trust fund? Boo-hoo, Princess.
It's your apartment. Get a hose and get over it.
If you pass out at your own party in your own apartment, you deserve what you get.
That apartment looks pretty nice, even as it's garbage-laden.
seriously, she seems utterly clueless.
She needs to clean up her act once she's done cleaning up her condo. And then get all new "friends."
Wow, does this make me miss the days back when Williamsburg was ruled by crackheads and really old jewish people. What have you done to Brooklyn you hipster d-bags? "Look at me, look how wild and crazy I am..."
Oye vey.
OMG CRAZY, MY APARTMENT WAS A MESS AFTER MY NEW YEAR'S PARTY!
How is this even noteworthy, let alone newsworthy?
I would suggest white wine next time. And a bouncer. If not when will your next party be? I promise not to puke or piss off the balcony. Unless not until I see a used tampon on the couch.
Seriously, the apartment isn't even that bad.
We hosted a gigantic NYE party, and I had to spend 3 glorious hours scrubbing champagne off the walls and ceiling. But I would never EVER get so drunk at my own party that I couldn't regulate. For that, she is a fucking moron.
Your friends trash your apartment and you...Blog About it? Then beg for money? Really, whatever happened to personal responsibility? If my friends did that, I would have made a tour of Brooklyn wielding a pool cue and started my own press gang.
you host a NYE party and complain that there was a mess? when my friends make a mess of my apt during a party, I call it a success!
she's not really after the money to clean her place, please. this chick is a total narcissist stuck in the -look how cool my apt is, nyc, and look how snarky i can be. by the way, does everyone now know that i threw a crazy new years party? - high school nonsense.
OMG YOU GUYS! MY SHOW CURTAIN RINGS WERE BROKEN!!!!!!
What the fuck is wrong with this girl? All of that damage she's describing is so fucking minor.
And a blowjob in her bathroom?? That's hilarious. If that kind of shit went down at my party I wouldn't be offended, I'd be honored. That means your guests had a good time.
Cleaning company is a big friggin' joke. What, you're too wussy to get your hands dirty? You have to pay a bunch of brown-skinned people shitty wages because you're too cool to do it yourself?
Fuck you. Don't have parties.
Gothamist (and any of the other ists) are so much better when they skip regurgitating blogosphere garbage like this. Gawker covered it -- fine. Let's leave it at that, especially since this isn't anything earth-shattering, profound, or even remotely interesting to people who didn't go to her party.
If her ass pain doesn't go away in a few days, I really hope we don't see the follow-up posted here about how people owe her $whatever for her Planned Parenthood visit.
agree with Mookie.
This chick would be a good match for Patrick Moberg, assuming he's heterosexual.
i just read the gawker comments, so interesting. for a site that is way more cynical than gothamist, there isn't a negative comment directed at this woman. (ok, i read the first fifteen or so). they're all: "too bad." "great apt." "oh, that sucks." compare that to the gothamist comments which are universally talking about what a wanker this chick is. why the flip?
What a twat. And why the obsession with damage in your apartment, and the request for donations? Don't mommy and daddy cover this along with your rent?
I agree with spoon ('cept you're anything but a hipster!):
"Wow, does this make me miss the days back when Williamsburg was ruled by crackheads and really old jewish people. What have you done to Brooklyn you hipster d-bags? "Look at me, look how wild and crazy I am...""
Give me a break, what the hell did she expect?
no offense to gawker commenters or anything, but why do they suck so much?
its her party and she is hostess, she should know whats going on in her own party.
I can't understand how this damage is equal to $450. The wine may not come off of the wall, but that's about it as far as I can see.
Every time I have ever thrown a party, I have made sure that I and at least two to three of my friends stay sober enough that we can monitor everyone else there. As soon as someone gets out of control they are either removed from the house or, taken aside and told to calm down or they have to leave.
It is the host or hostesses responsibility to monitor the guests and make sure nothing gets out of hand. The house is a mess because she became a mess.
Don't get me wrong, I've had many a night where shaving cream gets on the ceiling, chairs are saran wrapped, the fridge is duck taped shut and wine gets on the floor. It happens. But at least the people I invite are good friends who will help clean up the vomit stains they left.
Chick needs a reality check.
Ha Ha! What a (as mentioned before) loser! This reminds me of a surprise birthday party I threw for my sister at my best friends house. After a few of bottles of rum, it was time to cut the cake. We thought it would be cute to put a little cream (heh) on her face. She thought it would be cuter to retaliate and start taking fist fulls of cake and smashing it on everyone's face. Thus the food fight from hell began.
For the next half hour, people were throwing food all around. There was cake everywhere, but the true fun began when we moved from cake to bean dip. Now wine on the wall may stain, but try scrubbing dried bean dip off the wall the next day. People woke up the next day with bean dip in their hair and ears.
The best part, the hostess instead of stopping the fun, went to the bathroom to get a shower cap so that her hair doesn't get messed up. Of course I was the one that had to clean up the next day (cake just seems to love sticking on carpets for some reason), but it was worth it. Mys sister says it was the most fun she's had on her birthday.
i suspect the reason her ass hurts IS because of her date.
That damage is so f*kn minor, that she's obviously never had a real rager! There's not even any puke to clean up!
She either:
A) Never went to college
B) Went to college and never got drunk
C) Somewhere between A and B
Two bottles of Fantastik: 8.00
One Bottle of Pine-Sol: 5.00
New Shower Curtain Rings from Bed Bath and Beyond: 15.00
1 qt. Benjamin Moore Pearl White Paint: 25.00
Three Rolls of Paper Towel and Sponges:7.00
Total Damage: $60.00
Public humiliation: Priceless
I can't stop laughing at those pictures of her place. What can you expect? You invite a bunch of idiotic hipsters and plow them with booze and they have no clue how to act... The funniest part is the prized Signed Dolly Parton picture, what a dopey girl.
Does Dolly know about this travesty? Perhaps she will send her another autographed poster for free (plus shipping and handling costs), with a saying that reflects on the tragic loss of the first poster.
Hilarious! I especially like solicting electronic payment for cleaning services. Agreed - loser.
Perhaps the unfortunate hostess should discontinue using the moniker SlutMachine. I'm afraid that partygoers attending a party hosted by SlutMachine may have felt encouraged to disregard any semblance of good behaviour.
And, please see a doctor about your buttacle pain--especially since you can't recall the circumstances by which you acquired this condition.
I hope this isn't going to give hipsters a bad name.
This is kind of like Jim Leyritz blaming his friends for his bad drive home the other night. She'll either clean up or end up in on a cold metal slab some day after doing more "adventure research."
I sort of feel bad for her. Her next blog is all about how @ least she got to fuck some intern @ her job during the party @ least. She's hurting from a recent break up.
But I mean who writes shit like that for everyone to read? My guess is the cute intern isn't going to be sticking it back in her anytime soon.
She also held an internet contest for boys to date her.
I say her resolution should be 1. find better friends that won't trash your place. 2. work on retaining some more self-esteem.
I went to 3 house parties that I was personally invited to and passed out in the hosts' bed for about two hours @ the 3rd party. They were the people I knew the least, but I still managed to wake up and voluntarily empty ashtrays and pick up bottles from the hurricane of mess that invaded their loft. No one else pitched in, but their place was just full of bottles n butts n stuff - nothing visibly broken or thrown on the walls.
Oh well, poor girl. In many senses.