THEATER: Without uttering a single line of dialogue, theater company Parallel Exit has crammed an hour of stage time with an abundance of zany physical comedy. Accompanied by live music provided by various percussion instruments, ukulele and piano, a hapless troupe of vaudevillians stumbles though “a backstage adventure filled with comic chaos and fast-paced action, incorporating music, magic, tap, and slapstick.” Everything that can go wrong does in their little variety show, and Martin Denton says “there's enough slapstick and silliness to please the small fry and enough sophistication and acumen to ensure that grown-ups are constantly diverted as well, making this a well-nigh perfect family entertainment.” – John Del Signore

3:15pm & 7:15pm // 59E59 [59 East 59th St] // Ticket prices vary.

READING: The holidays never stop! Join Maitefa Angaza who will be in town with her new book Kwanzaa: From Holiday to Every Day. The complete guide to the celebration includes recipes and more.

6:30pm // Brownstone Books [409 Lewis Ave] // Free

MUSIC: Nothing says December in New York like a little bit of Yacht Rock. Tonight is the premiere of Episode 11, along with a screening of original 10. Expect appearances by Yacht Rock creator JD Ryzner (Michael McDonald), Hunter Stair (Kenny Loggins), and Hollywood Steve (himself). Special bonus: The School of Rock will be on hand performing classic Yacht Rock hits!

7pm // Knitting Factory [74 Leonoard St] // $10

OPERA: Class up your week and head to The Metropolitan Opera for Gounad's Roméo et Juliette. See it tonight before their New Year's Eve gala performance. Prices range from $15 up (way up).

7:30pm // The Metropolitan Opera at Lincoln Center [Columbus Ave at 64th St] // Various Prices

SHOP: It's the ABC Carpet & Home sale! If you've been thinking about reinventing your living space, and you have an extra $1000 lying around for a lamp...this is the place to be. The sale runs through January 21st, so if you're shopped out...catch your breath and head there next year.

Through January 21st // ABC Carpet & Home [881 Broadway]