PARTY: Haven't gotten your fill of holiday office party fun this season? Metro Metro reminds all of its faux-ployees that their office party is tonight! "This is a reminder going out to all fake employees about the Metro Metro Holiday Office Party. Please join us in celebrating the holidays by assuming a fake job title and hobnobbing with fake co-workers over genuine drinks. Need inspiration for potential job titles, such as Associate with the Bad Toupee, or the Wait-Until-You-Hear-How-Smart-my-Baby-Is Co-worker? Check our website for a list."

6:30pm // Bar Nine [807 9th Ave] // $5

READING: A.J. Jacobs, editor-at-large at Esquire, spent a year reading the 2002 Encyclopedia Britannica and documented his encounters with everything he absorbed, A through Z, in a book called Know-It-All. And now he's really outdone himself. Jacobs (an agnostic Jew) spent 381 days living the Bible, literally -- from stoning adulterers to loving thy neighbor. Tonight he'll be reading from his latest tome, The Year of Living Biblically.

7pm // Half King [503 W 23rd St] // Free

THEATER: Go down under Lucky Cheng’s tonight for Tom Swirly’s Psych-o-delic Circus, “a strange avant-garde musical/talk show with variety acts, weirdness and sensation.” Butthole Surfers’ Gibby Haynes is on the bill for this Yuletide variety show, which also boasts Joshua Fried’s Radio Wonderland, Tristan Perich’s One Bit Music, Kid Lucky and many more attractions. Host Swirly promises magical illusions and a “‘visual effects device’ from Australia that will delight and disorient you, plus treats, costumes, confetti and pranks!” Culturebot announced the show with this confession: “Sometimes an event comes along that seems so cool and out-there that I don’t want to post it because it’ll sell out and I won’t get in. This is one of them.” – John Del Signore

8pm // Cave Canem [24 First Ave under Lucky Cheng’s] // Tickets cost $5

MUSIC: Unless you want to travel back to 2004 tonight as the Bowery hosts a show with The Bravery, it's slim pickins. Over at the Highline you can catch the old and the new, however, with The Robert Glasper Experiment and Q-Tip. Glasper rocks a range of jazz, blues, funk and everything else you can wrap your ears around.

9pm // Highline Ballroom [431 W 16th St] // $25 & $30