What the Class of 2011 Should Know About NYC

"a million years ago, in different times, i was taught during NYU freshman orientation how to fend off an attacker by folding a newspaper four times and hitting him in the eye with the corner..."

ahahah that is really funny.

my advice for girls is to carry perfume around. you end up smelling like shit after walking around in the city or after sitting in the subways. and you can use it to spray it into some creep's eyes instead of pepper spray.

No, really, what's a metrotard?

gwinny,

nyu is not an overpriced community college. it is a diabolical real-estate venture cleverly disguised as an institution of learning.

that said. i think your advice was the best. if you're going to spend heaps of cash, get yourself a real education.

Here's a big tip i forgot to give:

Don't go to Misshapes under any circumstances. Whatever anyone tells you isn't true.. it is not fun.

I've been to New York a few times and visited all the boroughs and I've found New Yorkers to be on average nice and helpful people. There's always some shady individuals but when aren't there. You don't have to act like a New Yorker just don't act like a stereotypical tourist.

Thanks #39, for this:

"Gladly accept logistical advice about NYC, but reject any kind of suggestion as to how to "act" in order to fit in with a crowd. Be your self. We have more than enough try-hards already."

It's clear from most of these posts that most self-described 'new yorkers' probably need to lighten up and stop waging the battle to be the 'most real'. you're the real deal, we get it.

a million years ago, in different times, i was taught during NYU freshman orientation how to fend off an attacker by folding a newspaper four times and hitting him in the eye with the corner...

"Don’t order bottled water."

Wow, way to stay objective and on topic NYTimes. What has happened to my favorite paper...

I went to NYU and really wished I got into Columbia.

Actually, if I had to do it over again, I would probably have gone to school in Boston or DC and then came to NYU for grad school. NYU is a big time rip off - from the food, to the dorms, to the simple quality of education. A lot of really smart academics come to NYU because it's basically a vacation for them. Free awesome apartments in NYC, lots of perks, huge pay, etc. NYU grad schools, such as medicine, law and business are where the school really shines. The undergrad experience feels disingenuous and there's no cohesive community AT ALL. I feel like it's a lot of marketing and PR, but little substance. The only exception to this is the Gallatin School. Everyone from there seems to have had a great experience since it was such a small program (however, most of them are unemployed).

I was disappointed with my education, but being the first person from my family to ever attend college, I really didn't know any better.

NYU hasn't really changed in 20 years - it typically attracts the B average students with acceptable SATs, who were probably too awkward to be admitted to the more prestigious schools.

Do refer to the subway lines as IND, IRT, and BMT.

In addition to the great advice by bittysoda, Matthews, #33, #34, #36, and everyone who said "walk faster, damn it!" I have a few pearls of wisdom to offer:

- Don't be afraid to try new foods from places that look a little bit strange. A little adventure is good for the soul.

- Don't ever whine about how there's nothing to do here. There's always something, as long as you are willing to look. The good news is that in a city such as this, you won't have to look hard.

- Take advantage of EVERY student discount you can get. There are many, and they're all good. Any discount is good. This place is expensive.

-And, for the love of God, don't sing songs from Rent dressed in your pajamas while walking around the streets that surround campus. If you're going to be a cliche, try to aim for a smaller one.

Hey #35, if you are implying I am bitter for not having gone there, nothing could be further from the truth.

I actually went to NYU for grad school (after having gone to a much more challenging and reasonably-priced undergraduate school) -- and was appalled at the lack of intellect and the basic laziness of the undergrads (not to mention in one of my two grad programs as well) who seemed to be in NYC solely to party.

At the time, NYU was $24K and has gone up from there -- how is that NOT overpriced??

Sorry, but I definitely know what I'm talking about.

"Metrotard"?

Gladly accept logistical advice about NYC, but reject any kind of suggestion as to how to "act" in order to fit in with a crowd. Be your self. We have more than enough try-hards already.

Enjoy the city and your experience here.

1) Consider going to a less expensive school, especially if you went into debt and/or are draining your parent's savings (especially if they took out one of the adjustable-rate subprime mortgages you've been reading about.

2) Don't wear sweatpants with your school or greek letters on your butt. It just looks stupid.

3) Ignore #28 - muffintops rock!

4) Ignore #29 - Chipotle's was majority-owned by McDonald's before they were recently spun off. Very bad karma. And there's better places for a burrito - Xie's Mexican & Asian on 6th and 13th, f'instance (right across the street from a Chipotle's!)

banjoandro,

"every ten meters"??????

we caught ya. the taking of pelham, one, two, three.

- and if you decide to stay, good luck with the financial aid office: they will screw you over every chance they get.

Again, if you're going to NYU, please heed the above advice. My friends who went to SVA have a hell of a lot more in savings than I do (over 10 years after graduation).

When I came to NYU in '94, they didn't have space for me in the dorms. I had 3 days to find a roommate situation, and I'm really grateful it worked out that way!

Also, before I moved here my dad gave me a copy of Joseph Mitchell's "Up in the Old Hotel." It was fun going to the various locations covered in the stories.

Ugh. NYU is not a "severely overpriced community college." Someone's obviously bitter.

Do not stand on the subway stairs to get that last bit of your phone call in before going underground or up. Do it on the sidewalk, away from the subway entrance.

Do not stand in front of the turnstile while getting your Metrocard out of your bag or wallet -- stand to the side so people can get in and out while you're digging.

If you have a seat on the subway or bus, look up once in a while to see if there's someone who needs it more -- pregnant woman, old person, someone on crutches.

Do not scream into your goddamn cell phone.

Don't squeal. It's not cute.

New Yorkers expect you to order food FAST, otherwise they move on to the next person. This happens a lot at a Delis.

New Yorkers can be cool, but can become New Jerkers in a split second.

Don't be too nice to people.

Be agressive when walking, when going to the turnstile to swipe your metrocard, when opening or heading to a door, when getting on the bus, when you see an empy seat on the train or bus TAKE IT! Don't give'em a chance to snatch it from you.

When you walk the streets pretend the sidewalks belong to you. Make them move out of your way instead of you having to move.

When crossing streets you don't have to wait for the walk sign - just watch out for traffic.

Hmmm, how to fit in as a local...

1. When visiting Washington Heights, be sure to let your dog poop all over the sidewalk

2. Even though there are trashcans every 10 meters, please throw your trash on the ground.

3. Spit....a-lot.

suck cock. suck it often.

[25] "walk the streets at the new york pace"

I second that. Nothing pisses me off more than slow people walking through fast moving areas. That goes double for Penn Station/Times Square/Grand Central.

I'd also like to add don't wear flip flops, and bathe regularly.

I'm pretty sure there's a Chipotle exception in that "no chain restaurants" rule.

do not be fat.... fatties.

First, some really serious advice:

Heed ALL of bittysoda'a warnings about getting wasted. We speak from experience: a hideous morning after lurks, at the very very best. Above all, do not sit on a windowsill while under the influence. This is a city of tall buildings.

Learn self-discipline. I deliberately went to a small-town college because I worried that the city's distractions would keep me from class work. Make the most of the city, but don't forget your obligations to academe. The range of choices is literally overshelming. Stick to a schedule of "on" and "off" time. This will also be useful if you stick around after granduation.

Now, the purely practical.

Ask the natives, as the Mayor urges. We really do know a lot about the city, albeit in our own eccentric ways. If someone approaches you as you peer quizically at a map and asks, "Can I help you?" do not assume he's Jack the Ripper. He could even be me, a professional tour guide. At the same time, don't be surprised by contradictory info; ask helpers to show it to you on the map. (Both may be correct!)

Learn the subways and buses by geography, not color or number/letter. Among other things, it's useful to know what street the Sixth Avenue line (orange, if you must) runs under. It's essential to know the patterns of movement -- uptown, downtown, crosstown -- to make your way around the city. Memorize the wide, 2-way crosstown streets, all of which have bus lines: Houston, 14th, 23rd, 34th, 42nd, 57th, 72nd, 79th, 86th, 96th. Several eccentricities apply, but you'll pick them up.

Remember that just because the headline says you are in the class of 2011, realize that you will be lucky to graduate in 2012 :)

walk the streets at the new york pace

don't get a fake ID from that crappy clothing store at 215 thompson street. shit will get taken away.

If you're a young lady and a strange guy out in the street says "nice" to you, he's not complimenting you on your agreeable disposition...

There are five boroughs in New York. All of them are worth visiting at least once.

Every time you buy food from a national chain restaurant, God kills a kitten. (But seriously, unless you like waiting in a hot, smoky, crowded room full of pretentious blowhards for an hour while you wait for a pizza that may or may not ever be made, DiFara's not that great. PS, the mouse droppings are gone, but Dom still takes your money with the same bare hands that make the pizza.)

If you're going to go out and get wasted:

-(a) don't go alone.

-(b) don't go someplace sketchy.

-(c) don't go home with any strangers unless someone knows where you're going and who you're with.

-(d) don't leave your drink unattended.

-(e) don't stay until the bar throws you out.

Get a fake ID if you must, but don't post on the Internet asking where you can get one.

Don't assume you know everything just because you live in New York now. Be nice to the folks back home, encourage them to visit, and don't look down on them just because they don't live here. This is only the center of the universe, not the entire universe.

If you're a girl, please don't scream and shriek just for the fun of it. Its REALLY irritating getting woken up at 2am by a couple of kids shrieking 'cuz they think its cool. Its not.

Plus its hard to differentiate between an obnoxious chick, and someone getting killed for real.

Sorry, Tim N., but NYC hasn't been a tough city for a while now. This city is softer than baby crap.

welcome to NYC y'all. just make sure you don't congregate in front of my building. it's really irritating when all i can hear from what you're saying is: like, like , like... I need my sleep.

It appears 14 St by Union Square is a good place to check out the action, especially with freshman orientation this week. However, it appears NYU doesn't seem to attract the lookers - well, perhaps a few hot, but uppity looking, asian chicks. Anyhow, I'd like to do my part in welcoming them to this city I've called home for 36 years...

Stay the frig home unless you're tough enough to take it. Because we're not changing for you, youngins.

That goes for the tourists, too.

Do look down on people from Jersey and Long Island immediately. It shouldn't matter that you spent your first 17 years in Ohio, you're a real New Yorker now.

Do not park your car in front of a fire hydrant.

- Do us all a favor and transfer to a school that is cheaper and better than NYU, which is nothing more than a severely overpriced community college.

- and if you decide to stay, good luck with the financial aid office: they will screw you over every chance they get.

1. If you are hot chick and you meet a guy named David Yates get on your knees and suck his dick immediately.

Howsabout "Don't step in front of a speeding bus"...?

Please no more Difara's

don't encourage the old coot.

i really didn't want to post anything here, but:

"-Don't forget in you're dorming in NYU, you are living in the equivalent of a $4k/mo manhattan apt, so appreciate it."

well they actually cram 4 people into what MIGHT be a $4k/mo apartment, AND they charge you 1200-1300 a month for it (you pay tuition AND board at college) so its really kind of a shit deal.

"Why does everyone keep telling people to go to DiFara..."

first of all, if you only "read about it" then shut the fuck up... but seriously, everyone stop going there, please, i don't want to wait behind you.

"My advice is this: It is against the law to ride bicycles on the sidewalk and dangerous to pedestrians to boot"

i have never, ever, ever, seen a bicycle in a dorm room. granted i'm getting old.

A few comments on the NY Times list.

- Using the street as a toilet is a favorite past time. STFU NY TIMES.

- The Subway condoms are rather tiny. While I used one successfully, it was very constricting and ruined the experience. Some penises are bigger than others and simply need an upgrade. STFU NY TIMES.

Do try to act older than 12.

Frat boys are not welcome, unless you're dancing in a cage in your underpants and even then the frat boy thing is debatable.

In the spirit of the last rule, no baseball hats. In NYC it is legal to beat those of you who ignore this rule on the street where you stand especially if you wear it sideways. Go to Brooklyn if you must act frat'ish'.

We don't care what your parents do or how much they make. We've already decided that they're bad parents by indulging your whim to come to NYC.

Why does everyone keep telling people to go to DiFara when the DOH found mice crap during their last inspection? The more I hear about that place, the more I think people are nuts and will eat food with dirt in it if they're told it's "organic black truffle powder".

-Do stay off my lawn. And by lawn, I mean the entirety of the East Village.

My advice is to drink, do drugs and party...responsibly.

And have sex with me if you're cute.

My advice is this: It is against the law to ride bicycles on the sidewalk and dangerous to pedestrians to boot. You can be fined $250.00 and have your bicycle confiscated. You're in a city of walkers now - keep your wheels on the street!

Hey what is wrong with calling subway lines by their colors?

I find that easier to new people in town.

-Chris

-Don't walk dress in everything you see in Vice magazine.

-Don't stalk or gawk at famous people. we're not supposed to be like that here.

-Don't spend money on cutsey, touristy cupcakes.

-In fact, don't even walk down Bleecker in the West Village. Unless you miss the Main street mall from wherever you're from.

-Do support the local, smaller shops that try to make the city unique to other places.

-Don't forget in you're dorming in NYU, you are living in the equivalent of a $4k/mo manhattan apt, so appreciate it.

-Do make an effort to learn the city history and respect what was here before you.

-Don't take the city for granted, but do take advantage of it.

-Do venture far out of your neighborhood and explore the city and surrounding areas.

-Don't go to school. Drop out and get a job as an NYC real estate broker. Or an Exec assistant job to a 25 year old Hedge fund manager.

-Do try to add to, not dilute.

-Don't take the seemingly safe streets for granted. Sure things are nicer now, but this isn't Greenwich CT and you are young.

-Do tip well at your local watering hole.

-Oh, which brings me to do make sure you get a fake ID if you're a freshman.

-Don't start sounding embittered about how much better our city used to be even just a few years ago, that's my job.