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The Observer people watches the people watchers this week with a piece on The Bench. Almost too ridiculous to report on, the Lower East Side American Apparel happens to have a hot spot outside of its windows which has become the "epicenter of perhaps the hottest 'anti-scene' scene on Saturday nights." Exactly the kind of thing you'd expect to be forged outside of an American Apparel, it even has founders - including DJ Big Black Matt Goias, and a MySpace profile.
Quickly becoming the seat to be seen, this all sounds a little too much like the "cool table" in high school, leading us to believe that hipsters are in fact the new jocks (seriously, check out this video). Either way, with "nothing" as the theme it's become the Seinfeld of nightlife, complete with cameos (including Jay McCarroll who was there last weekend drinking to-go margaritas)! Alife has teamed up with The Bench for an event (Abench) this weekend, find out how to get busy doing nothing with them here.
Of all the benches in all the world, how did this one become The Bench? After sending out a fake press release Rolling Stone called it a “nightlife revolution” and The New York Times described the scene as a “classically handsome quartet of New York City hipster royalty has changed the way we will think of nightlife fabulousness (and park benches) forever.” We have no comment, but we're sure you do...
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Whoop-de-do, another "inside joke" for a bunch of obnoxious kids to congratulate themselves on. Who the hell cares except for them?
I used to go to the bench when it was kind of cool like SIX MONTHS AGO!!! It's soooooo over now. These days my friends and I usually hang at the traffic island at Houston and 2nd Ave, except Fridays when that's mobbed with the B&T crowd too! Pretty much everywhere in New York is over.
This city is totally ridiculous.
I hate this city.
there is a perfect term for these people: douche-bags.
this must be the douchiest place ever. i wonder when american apparel will start working this into their marketing to claim these little scenesters for themselves.
Hanging out on a bench all night is the new cool thing to do...fine. So does this make homeless people ahead of the times?
They've only been hanging out on benches since forever.
My friends and I go to a divey bar down the street after they get off work from the Sunshine theater and we've noticed this on the weekends...I could not figure out why the fuck AA is open until 2 am on Saturdays and why there are so many goddamn people always there. I didn't know it was an organized "scene"! I've seen Jay there a few times, good for him catching on to the to-go margaritas, those things are awesome.
Yes, hipsters are the jocks for people past highschool. When the popular jocks in highschool stayed behind and managed McDonalds while the kids they picked on went off to college, the dynamic shifted. The hipper, more fashionable (and more moneyed) kids of the latter category became the new cool clique, leaving the nerds, psychopaths, LARPers, gamers, and such out to dry. It's fascinating.
hipster royalty? that's like saying you are king of the bums! I mean you are a king but you are still a bum. It's sad that a 35 year old man dresses like a thirteen year old girl at a hip hop slumber party.
the new AA billboard on allen and houston brings me great joy every morning. except for the few weeks when the actually used it to advertise clothes.
Unbelievable. I second what #5 says. I'm so glad I left NY.
i find this hysterical. i'm hoping everyone is sitting on the bench KNOWING that they're being ridiculous.
Urge to kill rising...
the fact that this place is referred to as "The Bench" is disgusting. Learn the facts about the real BENCH 149st!
Hanging out on a bench in front of a store? Are we in the fucking suburbs?????? I think Al-Queda should target this spot.
i think this happens because the lower east side is so lame now, people have to find a bench in order to have any kind of unique scene. Enjoy your bench, if I cared at all anymore about being part of a 'scene' i may be there with you!
Where can I get a to-go margarita?
Although I'm loathe to reveal this secret, to-go frozen margaritas are available at The Hat, as they have been for many many years. Just don't be a jerk. They had to stop selling them for a while because so many denizens of the LES ended up in the gutter from them.
When did NYC lose its' sense of humor? The whole bench thing was a joke from the beginning, and the media fell for it, and it has become a self fulfilling prophecy.
I don't even understand how a small group of douches hanging out on a corner is newsworthy? Maybe you can report on the large group of polish high school kids that hang out across the street smoking cigarettes and drinking beers until 2 or 3 in the morning. I'm thinking that would be just as newsworthy.
If American Apparel is still made in America as shown on Modern Marvels, the history of Cotton, then I say let them do their thing.
they also sell to-go margaritas at the south street seaport. el sombrero is a hipster joint.
Time to move....
HAHAHAHAHA...totally lame. Totally reminds me of high school. It might be interesting if it just so happened that some guys started hanging out at a bench and all these people started joining, but the fact that they purposefully made something out of nothing to make it cool is PATHETIC.
Now that it's all over the media and everyone knows about it, I give it 3 more weeks max.
Hipsters are dead. Have been for years. I even found the photos to prove it: http://postpuree.com/dead-hipsters.html
They're just like zombies!
if only al qaeda really existed, i would really wish that they would send in the suicide bombers to blow all those fuckers up.
Ha ha, the Revenge of the Nerds! Back in the days when the EV was hot, our bar-owner friend used to get calls from the NY Times to "see what she's up to" and her places were crawling with ad agency trend-spotters.
So Rolling Stone thinks the Bench is a "nightlife revolution?" They got played, and so have a lot of wannabe hipsters, and now so will the b & t crowd who always spell the end of any scene (real or created as a joke).
It's almost art.
Best lines from the Observer article:
“It’s ill, that’s the thing about it. Nobody is excluded,” chirped Arkah Lacharles, a 16-year-old wearing a nose ring and a bright orange, tiger-striped knitted aNYthing cap. She called herself an “O.G.” (or Original Gangster) of The Bench.
Ms. Lacharles was grounded last week for staying out too late and her mother made her perform a PowerPoint presentation on why she should be allowed to come to The Bench. She included the fact that she got scouted for a modeling job while hanging out there. “This is what is going to get you a house in New Jersey with a front yard,” she told her mother on the phone, calling to confirm where she was."
I'm glad that the kids are learning valuable business, marketing and networking skillz while bringing the 80's back.
The jokes on you if you cant laugh. Bloggers with opinions... isn't that the same as the bench idea... basically doing nothing. The Bench IS a lame idea... thats seems to be the genius of it... and you fools bought right in. Congrads on being so smart and adding fuel to the fire.
Hanging on a corner... or a stoop... or a bench is quintessential new york culture. Or city culture in general. Good for them for getting money for that... while the rest of us 9-5 for the man. The bench has to be better than listening to you bitter kids complain about new yorkers and how you are the keepers of cool back when. What have you intellectuals done lately to make a difference... or EVER? lol Oh yeah... you blog. Nice. If those bench dudes are the "cool" table in the high school cafeteria, then you guys are the bitter outcasts at the nobody table plotting your revenge on the world for rejecting you. We have seen those guys in the news too. You are really playing your part in this whole silly thing.
Well... enough of that nonsense. See you at the 7-Eleven fingering through the magazine section looking for more things to complain about. Remember... you know whats REALLY cool, Right?
The Bench IS a lame idea... thats seems to be the genius of it... and you fools bought right in.
I guess if we're reexperiencing the fashion of 1984, we might as well be living its philosophy:
* WAR IS PEACE
* FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
* IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
* LAME IS GENIUS
hey guys, let's test the city's tolerance for loitering while we are partying ironically.
#21: While The Hat may be filled with hipsters, it isn't a hipster joint. They were serving up illegal to go margaritas when the LES was still the the Losaida. The same nice folks still own the place, so you can't blame them if hipsters choose to adopt it.
I think #28 is the only person who seems to get the joke, which is a pretty funny one at that.
i get its irony on so many levels.
emilydickinson:
the joke is what exactly? Is it that we live in a world that's so media and image driven that with the right promoters and guests even a bench can be made cool?
That's not comedy, it's tragedy.
Am so. so. so. so. so. so. sad that people don't get the joke. Come on. It's fucking hilarious. The media fell for it, and now you're making fun of the kids who thought it up? Uhhhh ok. Make fun of the media and the idiots that will be attracted to the bench BECAUSE the media is reporting it as an actual trendy place to be.
I love living in NYC, but sometimes I wonder how the hell all these angry humorless idiots survive here.
I would never be mistaken for a hipster, believe me. And I would agree hipsters can be annoying, but I don't really mind them. You know what's MORE annoying than hipsters though? All you people who need to share how much you HATE hipsters and how much cooler/more authentic New York YOU really are. Get over yourselves.
Most of you commenters need to lighten the fuck up and just enjoy this city.
I overreacted. I'm a little cranky today.
If it's really a joke, I think a lot of the participants are taking it really seriously.
Taking Shit Too Seriously, party of 36?
Shit Too Serious, party of 36...
folks, hipesters are -not- the new jocks. there are still jocks. hipsters are the new -preps-. punks are the new jocks.
MikeD: The joke is the fact that these people deemed a bench (a bench mine you - a pile of wood and screws) as the new 'cool in thing from way way out' and a bunch of media outlets, who presumably make a living reporting stories thus being paid for their superior judgment, believed them. Sure, I don't expect everyone to share my sense of humor, but that's funny to me. They told a reporter that a certain bench is what's going on, and the reporter believed them. Now everyone thinks it is so. To me that's a fantastic prank of the first order.
I survive fine, even better now that I gots me free internet.
molon labe.
snapped this dozing panhandler the other day on the so-called hot bench--guess he doesn't realize how hip he is:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/11205114@N03/1144107770/