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A 19-year-old man was killed early this morning while returning home from a family picnic with friends. WCBS reports that two groups of men began fighting on the 5 train between 233rd St. and 180th St. and Dyre Ave. in the Bronx, when one of the combatants pulled a gun and started shooting. An initial account from a witness told WCBS that someone simply walked onto the 5 train and shot Rayquan Story in the head, but followup interviews indicate that Story and his friends argued with another group at the picnic and were followed onto the subway.
The hail of gunfire killed Story, who was pronounced dead on the scene, and three of his friends are being treated for gunshot wounds at Our Lady of Mercy Hospital, where they are in stable condition. Police have some leads from family members who were at the picnic and are looking for a young male, who is obviously armed and dangerous.
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A 19-year-old man was killed early this morning while returning home from a family picnic with friends. WCBS reports that two groups of men began fighting on the 5 train between 233rd St. and 180th St. and Dyre Ave. in the Bronx, when one of the combatants pulled a gun and started shooting. An initial account from a witness told WCBS that someone simply walked onto the 5 train and shot Story in the head, but followup interviews indicate that Story and his friends argued with another group at the picnic and were followed onto the subway.
The hail of gunfire killed Rayquan Story, who was pronounced dead on the scene, and three of his friends are being treated for gunshot wounds at Our Lady of Mercy Hospital, where they are in stable condition. Police have some leads from family members who were at the picnic and are looking for a young male, who is obviously armed and dangerous.
Your first paragraph should have introduced the victim by full name before referring to him by surname only. Giving his full name in the last paragraph just doesn't make sense. What did you do, just cut-and-paste from two sources? Bleh!
A 19-year-old man was killed early this morning while returning home from a family picnic with friends. WCBS reports that two groups of men began fighting on the 5 train between 233rd St. and 180th St. and Dyre Ave. in the Bronx, when one of the combatants pulled a gun and started shooting. An initial account from a witness told WCBS that someone simply walked onto the 5 train and shot Story in the head, but followup interviews indicate that Story and his friends argued with another group at the picnic and were followed onto the subway.
The hail of gunfire killed Rayquan Story, who was pronounced dead on the scene, and three of his friends are being treated for gunshot wounds at Our Lady of Mercy Hospital, where they are in stable condition. Police have some leads from family members who were at the picnic and are looking for a young male, who is obviously armed and dangerous.
Your first paragraph should have introduced the victim by full name before referring to him by surname only. Giving his full name in the last paragraph just doesn't make sense. What did you do, just cut-and-paste from two sources? Bleh!
A 19-year-old man was killed early this morning while returning home from a family picnic with friends. WCBS reports that two groups of men began fighting on the 5 train between 233rd St. and 180th St. and Dyre Ave. in the Bronx, when one of the combatants pulled a gun and started shooting. An initial account from a witness told WCBS that someone simply walked onto the 5 train and shot Story in the head, but followup interviews indicate that Story and his friends argued with another group at the picnic and were followed onto the subway.
The hail of gunfire killed Rayquan Story, who was pronounced dead on the scene, and three of his friends are being treated for gunshot wounds at Our Lady of Mercy Hospital, where they are in stable condition. Police have some leads from family members who were at the picnic and are looking for a young male, who is obviously armed and dangerous.
Your first paragraph should have introduced the victim by full name before referring to him by surname only. Giving his full name in the last paragraph just doesn't make sense. What did you do, just cut-and-paste from two sources? Bleh!
Wow, what a glitch!
...but very true...
[1,2,3] Good points, all of them. Shortcomings are obviously one of the hazards of re-writing a post multiple times on the fly when the networks and papers themselves keep adjusting their stories to reflect the most recent facts. Again, thanks for your constructive criticism, criticism, and criticism.
bleh!
oh come on, that's journalism 101.
Mess'rs Bidnit, Bidnit, and Bidnit:
While you are correct about the proper journalistic form, you, and many other visitors here seem to forget that gothamist is really just a spot where you can come for a heads-up on various news stories around the region; it doesn't pretend to be an in-depth journalism source; that's why nearly everything it posts is a link to another site where the story is.
If they were investigating, reporting stories on their own, we might have a case for all the bitching about journalistic form that goes on in the comments, but really, this is just a blog.
Relax. If you want to find out more, click the link.
Why are people spending their time to comment and argue about the writing as opposed to the fact that this is a horrible icident and thank god there weren't other hurt or killed considering it was on the train. You people are cold.
I hope someone catched that shooter and soon. That poor kids family.
funny how none of the grammar nazi's every post links to their sites or works...
First off, I'm completly sure but I think the [5] does not stop @ [233]St. at two in the morning ! That's Rush hour service out too Wakefield during the week ! Secondly, It's sad that cats today can't just leave the gat out of a fist fight ! This is yet another example of why Minorities can't have anything nice . Dude was on his way home and got into a beef with someone that he and his peeps were beefing with at this picinic and it spilled onto the train . Hope they find the shooter though, Because that's some real pussy shit right there ! Posted by; "Still Not Amused"
I understand everyone's criticism with the way this article was written, but this is a news BLOG. If you want something more formal, read cnn.com. It's a terrible tragedy though, any way you get the news.
"Thats why Minorities cant get anything nice"...I advise you to watch what you say. Im a minority myself. Everyone is an individual no matter what... I personally knew rayquan, that was my boy we spent our high school years in the same classroom. From what I hear the shooter has been arrested and charged.
Please dont make a comment like that again and I agree that shooting anyone isnt the way to settle things. The question is Where are all these firearms coming from?
i wont everybody to know i love my lil cuz so much and im gonna miss him and may he rest in peace.........chalice robinson