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Emergency newswires are reporting that Port Authority cops requested that the Emergency Services Unit hustle over to Laguardia's main terminal this afternoon - and with a cage - because there was a monkey on the loose inside the airport. The animal apparently arrived at Gate B6 on Spirit Airlines' Flight 180.
We have so many questions about this incident. Was the monkey traveling as a passenger? Was it a helper monkey like Homer Simpson's Mojo? Are monkeys allowed to travel uncaged aboard an airplane or did its human open the cage after landing? The mind reels, but we can't wait to hear more. Flight 180 originated in Fort Lauderdale, FL; it's unclear whether it arrived on time or not.
Update: Monkey questions answered! We now know that the creature in question was a spider monkey, who stowed away under a man's hat as he traveled from Lima, Peru and caught a connecting flight in Fort Lauderdale. How do Transportation Security Administration officials fail to notice a monkey on the person of someone traveling from South America? Well, we still don't know (hidden under clothes?), but we now know the little monkey was not traveling in a cage. 
According to Spirit Airlines, "The baby Spider Monkey was clinging to the passenger's pony tail a little under his hat. Then during the flight the monkey started moving around under the hat and passengers noticed that he had a monkey on his head."
Upon discovery, the monkey spent most of the flight calmly in the hands of the passenger, but bolted once the plane reached Laguardia. The man and monkey were detained by authorities, and Animal Care and Control will be taking the monkey.
In other less amusing Port Authority news, the New York Post reports today that Newark, Laguardia, and JFK were among the lowest-ranked of the nation's 32 major airports when it came to on-time arrivals and departures. Newark Airport was the absolute worst in the country, with 47.8% of all flights arriving behind schedule. Kennedy was close behind, with a 47.2% late-arrival rate. Laguardia barely distinguished itself by limiting its late arrivals to 45.7% of all flights.
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pray4mojo
My only question -- was it a big yellow hat? Because if it is, I think I know this guy.
does the monkey have a shiny red ass?
Man! I want a pet monkey! But my husband won't let me get one. He says the cat is enough.
Bastid.
Every time I fly I gotta remove my earrings, rings, watch, belt, and shoes, discard any liquids over 3(?) ounces, and separate my laptop from my carryon but this dude comes into the U.S. with a freakin live animal on his head?
That must have been bananas.
Thank you, Dave, for adding some levity and primate to an otherwise uneventful Tuesday.
The guy was smuggling the monkey. If he imported it properly, he would have needed to get:
*An export permit from Peru
*A CITES permit
*Paid freight and cargo space for the animal
*Cleared the shipment through a Fish and Wildlife (FWS) certified airport. Miami is one of them.
*Possibly subject the animal to a quarantine period
*Filled out FWS import permits
*Get pre-clearance through US Customs
*Either get a broker (most don't deal with wildlife) to clear the shipment, or clear it himself.
I'm one of those evil businessmen you hipsters despise because I import LARGE shipments of reptiles and mammals and I make profit from it
yes, you are right, hipsters notoriously can't stand reptile importers.
The man should be quarantined (and thrown in jail) and the monkey should be euthanized. We can't take any chances of diseases. Too many morons on this board think this is cute, until passengers get sick from close contact with said monkey.
We hipsters love to smuggle animals! I hate you because you make money! You nailed it, #8!
As with every Gothamist post, it always degenerates to how much the hipsters suck. But that's because they do suck more than ever! I also agree with #10 that the monkey should be put to sleep.
The guy who illegally smuggled this innocent monkey into the U.S. should be put to sleep.
Just another aspect of the safety lapses that can happen when you travel by air, you can now be bitten by a moron stowing away a pet in his hat.
I don't care if they ask me to remove my shoes if they fly me safely.
I guess the next step is that they will be asking travelers to remove their headgear.
Now if only the TSA could protect me from my fellow travelers.