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For those of you dreaming about brownstone Brooklyn, here's your stinky wake-up call: The "Mad Crapper" that has been leaving poop all around Boerum Hill is an actual person, versus a dog wanting privacy. Someone emailed Curbed and Brownstoner with a crazy account:
I just spent my morning cleaning poop off of my stoop. For the second time in two weeks I got pooped on. This time I saw her. I live on Dean St between Hoyt and Bond. 6:00am this morning my wife heard..... well peeing.... she woke me up and I went to the door. I live in the garden apartment so I looked up and saw butt—thus I yelled 'HEY MOVE YOUR ASS!!!!' This was the first time in my life that I literally meant it.The resident's assessment: A mentally disturbed woman. He even spoke to the police, who told him to file a report at the station. Brownstoner thinks the description of the poop perp is familiar: "It actually sounds a lot like the woman who we found giving herself a makeshift bath in the doorway of our ground floor during our renovations a couple of years ago." The challenging thing is (and we know this from our experience calling 311 to help out a mentally disturbed person) that city agencies can only do so much; if the person wanders off, there's no way of making sure homeless services will arrive in time.
At any rate, residents are keeping their cool. One told the Daily News, "I was annoyed - it's disgusting - but it's New York. Something always stinks." A post about poop requires mention of New York Shitty (those with hardy constitutions, check out the "Bushwick Bung du Jour"). And the city's public toilets are supposed to start appearing this year, more or less.
Photograph by dogseat on Flickr
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Please call an ambulance rather then the nypd cops.
One time I saw this metally disturbed man who was naked in the dead of winter, handcuffed with two cops over him. this was at 7am, dead cold January and this naked man was on the sidewalk.
the cops have no heart. Please call EMS.
oh please, some world-is-my-oyster yuppie is complaining about a homeless person deficating on their stoop? Give me a break! Hey yuppie, give that person of Scott's and shud up!
The resident should have told the crazy lady to scat...
oh wait, she was...
Call EMS? And say what? "Hello, there's an emergency crapectomy happening on my stoop"? Give me a break. EMS will tell you to call 311, which will result in nothing. Call the cops.
Sounds like Reality Czech's got a major chip on his shoulder. Don't worry, the have-nots also have problems with shit on their stoop, mostly from lazy yuppies who don't clean up after their dogs.
Get EMS there first.
Cops don't care about human beings or perps or regular citizens.
I'm pretty sure most neighborhoods have a resident homeless stoop crapper. Mine does. Get over it.
Oh, crap, I forgot to add this link to the David Sedaris This American Life bit about strange smelling towels in his childhood home.
My neighborhood has crackheads, but that don't make it right. People are seriously tripping if they're trying to say human shit in the streets should be overlooked.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha......*Catches Breathe*......HAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ! "Mad Crapper"
*Begins to reacquire grip on reality*....Hhahahaha-heheheheheheheheheheHA, *Wiping tears from eyes*.... Wow ! *Chuckles* *Composes self* ... OK now there is a sensible explanation for what this woman was doing here . Personally I think she did it to get the point across . Maybe saying through her shitting that you don't belong there and she wants you all to pack-up and leave ! Just speculating here folks . I say that because about four years ago on my block we had to deal with someone leaving shit on our doorsteps in clear "Zip-lock" bags . Then this person expanded this to smearing the shit on our front doors, & finally leaving it in our mailboxes . I got tired of going through this and set a trap for this nut . I set up a "Spring-loaded" projectile in my mailbox and waited for this ass to try his stunt again . The mailman knew not to open the mailbox and just dropped the mail in my vestaview . Took about a week but this guy tried it again and got the surprise of a lifetime when the mailbox exploded in his face . Unfortunately I the cops tried to charge me with setting an explosive and I had to appear in court . Long story short, When the judge heard the whole story the charges were dropped and the guy was sent the nuthouse on the other side of "Roy Wilkins Parks" . Ironically within bocks of my home ! Posted by; "Still Not Amused"
"People are seriously tripping if they're trying to say human shit in the streets should be overlooked."
You said it, #10... who in the hell says "get over it?" over human crap on your front walk?