A woman who used to work as a secretary at a financial firm is suing her former boss for the unseemly tasks she was asked to do. How unseemly? Fatima Monahan claims she was appointed "pu--y coordinator" by boss Frederick Iseman of Caxton Iseman.

She also claims that Iseman suggested she have an affair with his ex-wife and that she flew to London to bring him his erectile dysfunction medicine. Oh, and Iseman allegedly told her to add "F--- Services" to her business card and made her buy lubricant and edible underwear, sort his porn pictures, and rent a studio apartment, aka "Operation F---pad."

And if you sensed there was another story, you're right: Iseman's lawyer denies Monahan's charges and notes that Monahan was fired for stealing $250,000. Attorney Michael Berger said, "She's going to be shown to be a total liar and a thief." The Manhattan DA's office says they are investigating Caxton Iseman's claims about Monahan, but Monahan's attorney was not available for comment.