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This week, New York magazine has a big section on Office Life: A Survival Manual. And it's depressing. Not only are there photographs of what the offices of Martha Stewart (clean), Paul Rudnick (kinda gothic-bohemian) and Mayor Bloomberg (bullpen, baby) look like, but there are stories that explain why your office works the way it does. Like, apparently, the boss has to be a jerk. And there are some solutions to office problems—who knew throwing a tantrum might be helpful (just don't break stuff)? Also, there's a guide to the kinds of creatures in your office, for instance, the person who will never be fired:
The Endangered SpeciesWell, it's up to you if you want to trust the market, but a safer bet is trying to prove that the species isn't so endangered. Like there is another person out there who can do PowerPoint presentations from your boss's handwritten chicken scratch!
Behavioral trait: Petulance that must be tolerated because the perpetrator possesses a unique skill. Akin to owls around which entire forests must be maintained.How to eradicate the menace: Put your trust in the market. A replacement will come along soon enough, offering what economists call “the marginal value of not being an utter tool.”
All this made us wonder what are some awkward and/or awful office scenarios that you have faced? After an informal survey, some that seem to resonate are the problems with being pressured by the office as a whole (join the knitting group! eat this birthday cake! no!) or face ostracizing, and anything having to do with your boss (screaming arguments with the spouse—office door open, of course; their love life that their spouses don't know about; etc.).
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A relative told me that when she told her boss she was accepted to a part-time MBA program, her boss told her, "Why would you do that? You're stupid."
Am I the only one that loves my office? Sure, there are some tools and sometimes I'm not so thrilled to be roped into going to the pizza party, but some of the coolest, nicest people work here (and I don't work at google or anything)! Oftentimes I come to work in a bad mood, and LEAVE in a better one. And more than once I've broken down crying only to have my coworkers rally behind me. Sure it's kind of weird being locked in a highrise all day, but if I have to work somewhere, this ain't so bad.
My dad said he had a Michael for the Office moment when his boss called a staffing meeting and before going over the typical P/L, etc, he announced that one of the males coworkers would soon be a female coworker. It sort of caught everyone off guard but lead to some spirited break room conversations.
Some years ago I worked for a company that had an open-plan office. Desks were right out in the open without even cubicle walls to separate them. It sounds strange but actually worked okay.
All went fine until the Powers That Be decided that all workers on my level should have private offices. I would've been even happier with a raise, but that wasn't going to happen. Before work began, several other people who sat near me pointed out - quite justifiably, I may add - that because my desk was near a window, constructing office walls would cut off their view of the outside as well as natural light.
The "brilliant" solution? I got an office with fully transparent glass walls. It was utterly horrid, as I went through stages at which I felt like (a) a mannequin in a store window; (b) a zoo animal on display; or (c) a gold fish in a very large bowl.
I love my office and most of the people i work with, but my boss and some his cronies are the biggest douche-bags in the world. I am glad however, that he's in his late 30's and at the peak of his career... Meaning, this is it... there's nothing left for him.