I helped a lawyer friend pick a ring that was almost $16k. For a great gal too, but nonetheless, we decided that the inscription should read "In consideration of marriage, Love Always [groomsname]"

Things can and do turn sour. Protect your investment fellas...

Re: keeping the ring to cover wedding costs, if you've already wasted a fortune on your dress, hairdressing, matching shoes, etc., then you're exactly the kind of high-maintenance princess who needs to be dumped...

What do you get for a USED engagement ring.

Bet those dealers offer you 50%, which is still 50% more than they paid.

Blue Nile actually is the 3nd largest seller of diamonds in the US. There was a huge article in the NYT a few weeks back. They went from zero to #3 in last 5 yrs.

You get the same Tiffany/47th quality ring for like 30% of the retail cost. For the $50,000+ stuff it delivered by armed guards, rest is fed ex.

I for one would just keep it, till Miss (not Ms.) Right shows up.

Debeers says: buy a **stock** of rings in case people break up with you.1 ring won't do? Perhaps you need 2!

Manufactured-fake-hope selling shitbags.

Engagement ring law is pretty interesting and it differs depending on the state you're in. NY's the majority though - no wedding, woman's got to return the ring. What does seem unbalanced, though, is that, generally a woman can't recover what she expended in preparing for the wedding (dress, deposits, etc.).

yeah and no one has even mentioned the screwed up diamond trade....the recent movie is just the tip of the iceburg. there are more creative, less exploitative, and far less expensive (if not totally inexpensive..ie a pen and paper) ways to legitimately show one's feelings...

I'm a woman and I completely agree with Phil and Tom--engagement rings are really stupid from both a gender equality and economic perspective. Sometimes I feel like we're going backwards as a society, in part thanks to the childish materialism of some women and the marketplace that caters to them...

Broom, why the assumption all females buy into this shit? Give me my great grandma's gold band, City Hall (or a small family ceremony), and a big-ass loft party potluck where all my friends get super drunk.

The engagement ring apparently belongs to the man even AFTER the wedding has taken place. I got divorced in New York and was concerned about the fate of the ring I'd given my (ex) wife, since it had belonged to my grandmother. But according to the divorce mediator the ring was always technically my property.

I have to admit, I'm not really sure if that's the law. I think the mediator might have just liked me better. Probably because, unlike my charming ex wife, I didn't insist on taking business calls during the middle of the mediation process.

You are right Phil, we live in the real world. In the real world people take risks and they don't always work out. Giving somebody an engagement ring is a risk. Deal with it.

Engagement rings are one of the most retarded traditions in the world. "Here honey, you know I love you because I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but let's blow thousands of our future dollars that we could use to buy a house so you can have a shiny rock that people got paid 40 cents an hour to mine."

Dammit!!!! I gotta agree with "Phil" on his point . Chivalry is a dead artform (AS it stands in society). You women all want to be treated as equals, Well this is part of the "Equality" . I love how you all want to be treat as equals when it benefits you and handicapped when it doesn't . NO MORE FREE LUNCHES FOR YOU ! GET THAT CHECKBOOK OUT LADIES . : ' ()

I belive DeBeers's commandment in this situation is for the guy to buy another ring exactly the same as the first. Then keep it for himself. That way everyone wins.

Hmmmmm, Personally I think the bride to be should have to give the ring back to the poor guy that spent two, three years salary buying it . It's only fair, The engagement fell apart, The love is gone their's no reason to keep the ring aside from greed, and sticking it to the guy !

Whoever broke it off means nothing. The bottom line is that our society dictates the requirement that a man present his would be wife with a gift, that being a ring, as a sign of his appreciation for her.

Are you kidding me? She should keep the thing? How do we know her family paid for wedding plans? It was an ENGAGEMENT ring, not her MARRIAGE ring. It was a symbol of their desire to wed, not a symbol of their wedding. This was all PRE marriage (which unfortunatly doesn't constitute having the safety of a prenumptual agreement), which means if he spent 48,000 dollars in appreciation, and they split up, he gets his 48,000 dollars back.

Keep it and buy a vacation? Yeah right. I love how the blame is automatically shifted to HIM and that she should be rewarded because they split up. Grow up. We live in the real world, not some Cinderella fantasy. Ladies... you better learn there are much less of these hopeless romantic guys left out there. That means there are going to be less and less circumstances to which you get awarded some kind of pity reward for having split up with your would-be husband. Oh, and chivalry IS dead... women killed it with malarky like this.

Where can I find a girl who'd accept and cherish a Cracker Jack ring and a Vegas wedding in jeans and T shirts?

correction - we both thought that was fair, not bought.

My ex-fiance broke up with me but he spent less on the ring than I did on wedding-related things (a dress, a deposit, etc) which came out of my pocket; he owed me money; I moved out of the apartment and gave up all my furniture and my half of the security deposit on the apartment plus had to shell out the cash for getting a new place on my own. Did I suffer financially? Absolutely. Did I keep the ring? You betcha - and then I sold it to pay off some of the debt I had incurred as a result of the breakup. We bought thought that was fair.

a gift is a gift!

50K for a ring, 100K for the wedding, then 60K for a divorce. This is beyond stupid. Can't guys just say no or do we have to stay cowed by what BRIDE magazine programs into the soft skulls of our females...?