Gothamist: Can Your Pet Be a Relationship Dealbreaker?

Someone

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 18:49:09 -0500

Here's one for everyone - I am a total dog person (although I don't mind cats), but my boyfriend is a cat person. Do you think this has greater implications about our compatibility? He's willing to live with a dog, but he openly dislikes them and my dog in specific (my baby lhasa apso, Teddy). I wonder..

Dorfie is a loser

Tue, 20 Feb 2007 15:00:26 -0500

Hey Dorfie, My dog has his own bedroom. It's probably bigger than yours. He also likes going to the dog run, riding in the elevator and playing with our doorman. On the weekends, he likes to go to our house in the country. He just loves to ride in our SUV (which we keep in a garage of course) and curl up on his very own down comforter. While he eats a nutritious commercial dog food for lunch, he eats seared steak or garlicky chicken for dinner and enjoys bananas and apples for dessert. Sounds better than being tied to a stake next to a rotting plywood doghouse surrounded by frozen piles of poop, like some of the real country dogs I've seen. But that's only my opinion.

janine

Tue, 20 Feb 2007 09:53:37 -0500

A lot of men LOVE cats. Just look at www.menandcats.com, a whole website dedicated to men who love cats.

cats are clean and independent

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 23:37:48 -0500

"I fucking hate cats! well, not cats. but the smell of cat piss! I fucking can't stand cat piss! It drives me insane!" If you or someone you know has a place that smells like cat piss, that's the fault of the owner, not the cat. Get some cleaner friends.

Maia

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 20:32:29 -0500

Contrary to Dorfie's sentiments, having an animal in the city is not necessarily "pet cruelty." I mean, would you say it's also cruel for us to allow immobile or other 'homebody' people (such as the elderly and ill, for instance) to live in NYC apartments? Cuz last time I checked humans are a lot bigger than pets and if the place is small for the pet, just think how small it is for the human! But also, there are tons of homeless dogs and cats out there living in 3'x4' cages who are in all likelhood either going to live out their days in that tiny crate or get put to sleep. You're telling me that taking one of those home to give love, care, and affection - even if it's in a small apartment - is in humane? Please.

Darbarella

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 17:21:52 -0500

I'm having trouble understanding how someone can "dislike" an animal. Can you cat-haters please explain? Aside from the allergy-sufferers, how can you "hate" a creature that can't hate you back (unless you're abusing it, of course)?

La Leone

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 13:49:50 -0500

Mistress Benway, you sound like a lovely person. I'd like to punt YOU out the window and then eject you off my firescape. HISS! I'm glad those cats passed on because now I can't shake the visual of you kicking them w/your patent leather dominatrix boots. Awful.

Dorfie

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 11:47:43 -0500

It's not just up to you pet-owners. I am allergic to cats/dogs, and I don't like them. I wouldn't date anyone who owned them because of the allergies, but I also disrespect anyone who owns a dog in the city. When you live in a small apartment, you're practicing animal cruelty.

Mistress Benway

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 10:12:17 -0500

Oh jeez, I'm so tired of the cliche about cat-loving chicks. My bf brought in 2 when he moved in to our tiny apt. When you work at home and they are both dropping nuclear stink bombs that suddenly asphyxiate you while you're on the phone with a client, it's enough to make you want to punt them out the window. They were basically eating, sleeping and shitting machines--why people project so much emotional need on them mystifies me. Thank god they were both old and left for the reeking litterbox in the sky shortly. Pets and tiny NY apts are cruel even if you're a pet fanatic who thinks they are really "little people."

S.D.

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 08:49:36 -0500

KB Said:"People who value relationships with animals - especially cats - above relationships with other *people* probably don't need to be in a relationship with another human in the first place." Actually, it's a matter of comitment. If a person takes in an animal and ditches the animal just for someone your dating, than how good of a catch is that person? It's one thing if your spouse is alergic, but getting rid of an animal just for someone your dating? That's, IMO, shallow. I took in my cat, Harry, as a stray 10 years ago. Thankfully, even though she doesn't like cats, my wife tolerates him. As adults, we worked it out. That's what adults do.

Queenie

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 08:24:48 -0500

I refused to move to New York when my boyfriend said he would not live with my cat, who had been with me over a decade. I am now married to that man. We live in New York. Eleanor the cat was part of the deal. PERIOD. Eleanor hates him. Hisses whenever he walks by. That's because Hubby doesn't respect the cat.

kb.

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 03:05:00 -0500

Brightliner: I am extremely understanding. I speak on this topic with experience from a very long term relationship, living with multiple (as in four) cats under one (apartment) roof. If it had been one, maybe even two, I wouldn't be speaking about this relationship in the past tense. That said, I am a great catch for the non pet-freaks out there which, believe it or not, accounts for the majority of the dating pool. I may not be on par with that "totally cute and sweet" manager at your local Petsmart, but I get by...

mr. fru fru

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 02:10:08 -0500

i use a litterbox.

Cool Dude

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 01:29:36 -0500

I fucking hate cats! well, not cats. but the smell of cat piss! I fucking can't stand cat piss! It drives me insane!

Brightliner

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 00:19:56 -0500

Of course the relationship goes before the pet goes! Pets don't expect anything other than the opportunity eat, piss and shit. A relationship with another person is just a little bit more complicated than that... You sound like a really understanding person. I'm sure you're a great catch. Not. I know a few women with cats. They're all single in their 30s and 40s. Translation: "And none of them will go out with me!"

em

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 00:17:54 -0500

All I know is that my cat has outlasted three long-term relationships and several flings. Which is to say, the stereotype of a woman in her 30s with a cat as a sexless hag is beyond stupid. Never mind the fact that when you accept the responsibility of caring for another life, it should be evident that it's for the long haul, regardless of convenience. The same person who dumps a pet would probably have trouble committing to another human in a relationship, because they're selfish.

em

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 00:15:29 -0500

Teddy N.

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 21:52:35 -0500

I know a few women with cats. They're all single in their 30s and 40s.

kb

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 19:31:16 -0500

Of course the relationship goes before the pet goes! Pets don't expect anything other than the opportunity eat, piss and shit. A relationship with another person is just a little bit more complicated than that... People who value relationships with animals - especially cats - above relationships with other *people* probably don't need to be in a relationship with another human in the first place.

La Leone

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 19:11:32 -0500

What? Rule No. 1 is not to trust anyone who openly says they do not like cats. I'm sure my cat disliking, manly-men neighbors will stare and laugh when I someday evolve into neighborhood crazy cat lady. That's okay, I can hear them watching the Grey's Anatomy through the walls and giving each other hand jobs over Bud bottles. My cats and I will silently watch them through the peephole and curse their transparent lifestyles.

rdc

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 19:00:52 -0500

I used to own a cat and any girl who didn't like him was out the door. Luckily girls tend to like cats, so that happened all of once.

Peter

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 18:55:02 -0500

I'm a man, and live in an eight-cat household.

Janine

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 18:44:31 -0500

I think plenty of men do, in fact, like cats. See www.menandcats.com

Mark

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 18:05:07 -0500

As a single guy with a cat, I have to say that women often find that attractive (as opposed to disliking the cat). It's worth it to put up with a bit of ribbing from my guy friends.

Matthew

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 17:37:22 -0500

More cats, less graffiti. :thumbsup:

Lilitu

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 16:38:31 -0500

The relationship goes before the pet goes, that's for damn sure. For one thing, the pet's usually been around longer than the relationship. And for another, a hypothetical boyfriend could do without me a lot easier than my hypothetical pet(s) could.