Here's one for everyone - I am a total dog person (although I don't mind cats), but my boyfriend is a cat person. Do you think this has greater implications about our compatibility? He's willing to live with a dog, but he openly dislikes them and my dog in specific (my baby lhasa apso, Teddy). I wonder..

Hey Dorfie,

My dog has his own bedroom. It's probably bigger than yours. He also likes going to the dog run, riding in the elevator and playing with our doorman. On the weekends, he likes to go to our house in the country. He just loves to ride in our SUV (which we keep in a garage of course) and curl up on his very own down comforter. While he eats a nutritious commercial dog food for lunch, he eats seared steak or garlicky chicken for dinner and enjoys bananas and apples for dessert.

Sounds better than being tied to a stake next to a rotting plywood doghouse surrounded by frozen piles of poop, like some of the real country dogs I've seen.

But that's only my opinion.

A lot of men LOVE cats. Just look at www.menandcats.com, a whole website dedicated to men who love cats.

"I fucking hate cats! well, not cats. but the smell of cat piss! I fucking can't stand cat piss! It drives me insane!"

If you or someone you know has a place that smells like cat piss, that's the fault of the owner, not the cat. Get some cleaner friends.

Contrary to Dorfie's sentiments, having an animal in the city is not necessarily "pet cruelty." I mean, would you say it's also cruel for us to allow immobile or other 'homebody' people (such as the elderly and ill, for instance) to live in NYC apartments? Cuz last time I checked humans are a lot bigger than pets and if the place is small for the pet, just think how small it is for the human! But also, there are tons of homeless dogs and cats out there living in 3'x4' cages who are in all likelhood either going to live out their days in that tiny crate or get put to sleep. You're telling me that taking one of those home to give love, care, and affection - even if it's in a small apartment - is in humane? Please.

I'm having trouble understanding how someone can "dislike" an animal. Can you cat-haters please explain? Aside from the allergy-sufferers, how can you "hate" a creature that can't hate you back (unless you're abusing it, of course)?

Mistress Benway, you sound like a lovely person.

I'd like to punt YOU out the window and then eject you off my firescape. HISS!

I'm glad those cats passed on because now I can't shake the visual of you kicking them w/your patent leather dominatrix boots.

Awful.

It's not just up to you pet-owners.

I am allergic to cats/dogs, and I don't like them. I wouldn't date anyone who owned them because of the allergies, but I also disrespect anyone who owns a dog in the city. When you live in a small apartment, you're practicing animal cruelty.

Oh jeez, I'm so tired of the cliche about cat-loving chicks. My bf brought in 2 when he moved in to our tiny apt. When you work at home and they are both dropping nuclear stink bombs that suddenly asphyxiate you while you're on the phone with a client, it's enough to make you want to punt them out the window. They were basically eating, sleeping and shitting machines--why people project so much emotional need on them mystifies me. Thank god they were both old and left for the reeking litterbox in the sky shortly. Pets and tiny NY apts are cruel even if you're a pet fanatic who thinks they are really "little people."

KB Said:

"People who value relationships with animals - especially cats - above relationships with other *people* probably don't need to be in a relationship with another human in the first place."

It's one thing if your spouse is alergic, but getting rid of an animal just for someone your dating? That's, IMO, shallow.

I took in my cat, Harry, as a stray 10 years ago. Thankfully, even though she doesn't like cats, my wife tolerates him. As adults, we worked it out. That's what adults do.

I refused to move to New York when my boyfriend said he would not live with my cat, who had been with me over a decade.

I am now married to that man. We live in New York. Eleanor the cat was part of the deal. PERIOD.

Eleanor hates him. Hisses whenever he walks by. That's because Hubby doesn't respect the cat.

Brightliner: I am extremely understanding. I speak on this topic with experience from a very long term relationship, living with multiple (as in four) cats under one (apartment) roof. If it had been one, maybe even two, I wouldn't be speaking about this relationship in the past tense.

That said, I am a great catch for the non pet-freaks out there which, believe it or not, accounts for the majority of the dating pool. I may not be on par with that "totally cute and sweet" manager at your local Petsmart, but I get by...

i use a litterbox.

I fucking hate cats! well, not cats. but the smell of cat piss! I fucking can't stand cat piss! It drives me insane!

Of course the relationship goes before the pet goes! Pets don't expect anything other than the opportunity eat, piss and shit. A relationship with another person is just a little bit more complicated than that...

I know a few women with cats. They're all single in their 30s and 40s.

All I know is that my cat has outlasted three long-term relationships and several flings. Which is to say, the stereotype of a woman in her 30s with a cat as a sexless hag is beyond stupid.

Never mind the fact that when you accept the responsibility of caring for another life, it should be evident that it's for the long haul, regardless of convenience. The same person who dumps a pet would probably have trouble committing to another human in a relationship, because they're selfish.

All I know is that my cat has outlasted three long-term relationships and several flings. Which is to say, the stereotype of a woman in her 30s with a cat as a sexless hag is beyond stupid.

Never mind the fact that when you accept the responsibility of caring for another life, it should be evident that it's for the long haul, regardless of convenience. The same person who dumps a pet would probably have trouble committing to another human in a relationship.

I know a few women with cats. They're all single in their 30s and 40s.

Of course the relationship goes before the pet goes! Pets don't expect anything other than the opportunity eat, piss and shit. A relationship with another person is just a little bit more complicated than that...

People who value relationships with animals - especially cats - above relationships with other *people* probably don't need to be in a relationship with another human in the first place.

What? Rule No. 1 is not to trust anyone who openly says they do not like cats.

I'm sure my cat disliking, manly-men neighbors will stare and laugh when I someday evolve into neighborhood crazy cat lady.

That's okay, I can hear them watching the Grey's Anatomy through the walls and giving each other hand jobs over Bud bottles.

My cats and I will silently watch them through the peephole and curse their transparent lifestyles.