Gothamist: Rules of Engagement, NY Times Ethicist Style

uga

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 14:46:52 -0500

Anyone else think BJM is a bit of a manwhore?

Tim N.

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 15:51:15 -0500

Ah, yes, nothing says I love you like good bottom land. The classy thing is to give the ring back, especially if the girl is breaking up the engagement. However, if it's an infidelity situation on his part, then it's time to, in the words of Springsteen, "head down to the pawnshop and walk out with good cold cash." And I wonder what snacks the "cash and prizes" club would serve?

squidfly

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 10:50:56 -0500

I yearn for the day when the man got two goats, some sheep and that good bottom land, and the woman a milk churn....

Samantha T

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 10:05:59 -0500

Modern world - the caselaw concerning ring returns is only where the woman breaks off the engagement. Once y'all are married, it's a whole new ballgame.

me

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 01:34:53 -0500

Asking for the ring back could be tacky and petty. I think should be a case by case basis.

modern world

Sun, 31 Dec 2006 22:38:29 -0500

I would agree with #6 except that this 2007 and woman want equality. They should either give the ring back under all circumstances, they should give an equal gift to their man, or they should get nothing at the engagement. If my wife leaves me and I get the ring back I think I should be entitled to a cash grant in addition to the ring. Where's the penalty if she strays?

Fiancée

Sun, 31 Dec 2006 22:12:28 -0500

WNBC's take on engagement rings as "gifts" is incorrect. The ring is considered collateral for a contractual obligation (to marry). Should the ring recipient choose to call off the engagement, she is obligated to return the ring. However, should the potential groom end things, the woman may keep the ring. This has been tested in several lawsuits.

finacial inequality

Sun, 31 Dec 2006 18:20:43 -0500

I know I'm in the minority but I do not think an engagement ring is simply "a gift". First of all, who would keep a ring if the engagement goes sour or if the marriage fails early? If the man is at fault the women is essentially saying, "Well, at least I got $20,000 out of it." If she is at fault, keeping the ring is larceny. Maybe I wouldn't have such a harsh view if someone had given me (as a man) a "gift" of approximate value.

But...

Sun, 31 Dec 2006 17:28:30 -0500

a friend just proposed to his girlfriend on Christmas with a $20k ring. BUT he got her all the usual gifts as well, so the ring wouldn't be a substitute for Christmas gifts. I don't think the rule stands in that case.

very funny

Sun, 31 Dec 2006 17:01:43 -0500

obviously, they saved the best for last. I love this question! I am going to copy it and send it to one of my guy friends who will undoubtedly have this issue down the line.

nick

Sun, 31 Dec 2006 16:15:59 -0500

this letter is obviously from anton newcombe of the Brian Jonestown Massacre.

S.D.

Sun, 31 Dec 2006 14:50:49 -0500

I hope that scenario is a joke but can you imagine if BJM did that??