Satire or Stupid to Slam Greenpoint

This HAS to be satire. it must be. It's in bad taste regardless, but I can't believe any higher education institution would publish it if it weren't.

How could anyone could possibly construe that as something other than satire?

I'm a Polak and even I knew that shit was satire. ;]

The black car in this blog is a Pontiac Vibe. It is built with the same chassey as the Toyota, Matrix. It is also built on the same platform as the Toyota. I like it better then the Toyota because of the body molding.

It has the same engine, tires, same horse power, torch, same secret compartments in flat bed area when converted from seat to cargo, same versatiltiy. Front passenger seat folds down into a flat table. It has a 100W outlet for a lap top
in the front dash. The Pontiac, generally, always comes with a sunroof and roof rack, nets for groceries and tools. It should come with 100,000 mile warranty like the Toyota also.

It is a very nice car and can run you anywhere from $15k base to $24k fully loaded.

"A friendly corporate logo or two would do wonders for the place."

hilarious!

"Mocking Poles for being stupid is perhaps the last form of politically correct prejudice"??

(sigh)
I'm Polish (among other things) and I don't care for this type of Satire, aimed at me or other groups. It's way over the Top.

On the Plus side, he obviously never wants to enter politics...

Silly New Yorkers! It's only satire when you make fun of Christians and Conservatives! With enough bullying of anyone that thinks differently from us we can make this city as politically diverse as Cuba!

" (His mother adds that Polish-Jewish relatives died during the Holcaust.)"

Why do people always seem to pull the Holocaust card out of the deck when they're being stupid? We all come from a long line of dead people - does that mean we get immunity from being called on our bullshit?

Sorry kids, but it's not funny. He's masking his hate and calling it satire. I'm all for poking fun, but this is clearly hateful, plain and simple.

Look everyone! Bo can read minds!

If you don't get the satire in this piece, then you're probably offended way too much and hate life. Yeesh.

He's just a stupid parkie.

I went to school with the guy and lived with his (Polish) roommate for a time.

If you want to know what I think, read my blog, because commenting is for pussies.

http://justsayin2000.blogspot.com

This was a really funny piece of satire the first time I read it in the Onion a few months ago:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/51852

As a current resident of Greenpoint, I certainly took offense to his article. While I can see how he may have intended for this to be satire, it was poorly executed as such and ended up sounding self-righteous, over-privileged, and insulting. In fact, the first few paragraphs made me want to kick him in his baby maker.

He may not have been serious, and this may have only been for an alumni magazine, but published writing should be able to transcend any specific medium. If you're going to write a satire that could possibly offend people, make sure it's done well and is clearly that, a satire. Otherwise, don't be shocked when you piss way too many people off and cause an uproar.

I think one of the main problems with the piece, aside from the general suckage, is that it is unclear *what* his target actually is. He seems to think satire = writing random "funny" stuff.

Thus, I don't think it's that unreasonable that Yassky thought the target was his constituents.

Maybe it's really a brilliant satire of people who spend a fortune on a private liberal-arts education and still have no talent. You know, kind of like "Wake Up, Sir," but more conceptual.

yeah it's satire, but it's also moronic and unfunny. i'm sick of reading shit that criticizes gentrification, corporate culture, etc. but that's written by people who probably work in a corporate or new media job, make 90k, and move to places like greenpoint themselves.....yeah i'm not a big fan of gentrification either, but unless you were already a part of the LES, or greenpoint, or williamsburg communities before they blew up...stop complaining!

I wonder what would have happened if this article was written about a black/hispanic/jewish neighbourhood/community....

I wonder how many of you would have found this article hilarious/satirical/amusing....

Perhaps the author knows nothing about Polish hertitage and history....e.g. the second oldest university in Europe is located in Poland, it was the first country in Europe to allow Jews to work and practise their religion freely, Poland has the second constitution in the world, etc...

Langlieb's satire of Greenpoint seems more like a satire [unintented] of himself.

The question of it being satire or not is irrelevant. There is no good place for this mentality anywhere.

There is a lot of truth behind a joke. Some people hide their truth behind a smile or a joke.
The guy writing the satire doesn't like the way the polish people think. He doesn't like the customer service he expects. More importantly, he doesn't like the direction the neighborhood is going. He satire is ugly. His honesty speaks loudly to me.

It didn't take much for Hitler to start blaming Jews, Gypsies, Gay people, non Christians for his failure and unhappiness in life.

The reason Adolf Hitler wanted to exterminate the Jews is not fathomable. There were many Jews and non Jews who raised the standard of intelligence to the level that guys like Hitler couldn't meet. Hitler wasn't very bright. I am sure that there were many other Germans and German Jews that could not meet the standards either. Hitler also, thought that the economy of Germany was controlled by Jewish businessmen. Hitler couldn't get into his choice of schools. For that, he couldn't become an architect. He didn't have the talent or skill to become an artist. He wouldn't have made it into the military had it not been for his father. He found himself close to becoming Germany's biggest loser. He hung out with pimps and prostitutes. Which is probably where he started with his "satire" and propaganda , his quest to take over the world. He started with people saying it was no big deal. He is not serious.

With the help of people saying Hitler wasn't serious or it is only "satire," he took his power of persuasion to as many Europeans that would listen. And boy did he make an impact.

I'm gonna be a loser and repeat myself, here, because I'm amazed that "the satire is completely obvious" keeps popping up. From my understanding, satire is a form of criticism. It has a target. Something can be satire, and yet one might still object to it as an unfair form of criticism. (For example, I thought that the "operation get-behind-the-darkies" joke in the South Park movie was unfair.)

Pretty much, the Polish jokes in the piece make no sense. They don't fit in with the overall thrust, which is (apparently) a satire of transplants and their gentrifyin' desires.

Thus, some people would see them as an attack, as an actual satire (or humorous and ironic criticism of) the people of Greenpoint.

this word "satire" is being dallied around as much as the word "PC" as a catch-all phrase when it comes to disagreements in opinion.
I too, didn't get the Polish joke regarding wearing pants on one's head.
He looks like a punk ass.

"The reason Adolf Hitler wanted to exterminate the Jews is not fathomable. "

WHOOOOOOAH.

godwin has a law for a reason, dude. (i.e. people do not know shit about world war 2, for starters; plus the whole devolution of anything into nazi nazi nazi, natch. or is that natch-zi?)

"Which is probably where he started with his "satire" and propaganda , his quest to take over the world."

Wow - and I thought people took Jonathan Swift too seriously

Sure, if it’s a satire then you must be racist! Get David Langlieb out of Greenpoint now as he does not deserve to live here.

"The Gothamist page
is not for those who can not comprehend
simplicity and the basics."

No, it is only for those who cannot spell.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

TIM N: do you have any reality to share?

"...like Sean Connery used to say it"

Is your
perspective based on Hollywood or Broadway?

While I can see how he may have intended for this to be satire, it was poorly executed as such and ended up sounding self-righteous, over-privileged, and insulting.

Yes, by gosh, it's almost as if it was meant to be a satire of someone self-righteous, over-privileged, and insulting.

what i think he regrets is that choice of shirt!

Reality cop...

Check out Goldfinger and/or Temple of Doom.

I guess that's one Hollywood and one... West End?

Something tells me we're drifting off the subject.

The "satire" has been pulled off the Haverford Web site, by the way.

Ohhhh...HAVERFORD? Ooops, i kept reading that as HARVARD, so it did make me a little worried about his opinion. Now that i know that he went to Haverford (teehee!), i'm not that worried. Seriously though, I was hoping he was at least good looking (besides being Polish and blonde, I'm also very shallow), which would totally excuse his unfunny, belligerent, non-satire. But, unfortunately, not only is he a douchebag, he's an ugly douchebag. Oh well!! * LOL, just KIDDING! *

It's pathetic. Stupid parkie who needed to draw attention. He's just not capable to offend me.

Well, satire or not, this is a cheapshot. It's really interesting, that Greenpoint has the highest density of parking summons cops anywhere in the 5 boroughs. They must be obviously out to get Mr. Longbulb to move out of there, or else they must know something we don't? Wait, it must be those poor souls that work their asses off on jobs others don't want - and yes, they actually do pay the parking tickets!!! Well shame on them for obeying the law, and shame on them for being raised properly in the spirit of responsibility and accountability.

Good day, and have some kielbasa Mr. Longbulb.

I’m not sure if I should feel insulted or disgusted. This article is too crude, to be considered a satire, especially since I have read other posts/publications by Mr. David Langlieb. I only wonder what caused an intelligent, young man to write ethnic slurs and then defend it as a joke. If the article was written in a different manner, I might have seen merit to it.

Mr. Langlieb: if you will ever read this comment, please consider substituting “Polish” for any other ethnicity and consider what reaction this might cause.

White man, you so funny!

Your expensive (Haverford tuition costs $33,394 per year & room and board costs $10,390 per year)
education is finally paying off with this
new thing called satire and a magical place called Greenpoint.

Yay for you!

BTW, Yassky must know it's a joke == he's just pretending to be outraged because he's got nothing better to do like work on bring truly affordable housing to Brooklyn.

Cat in an Empty Apartment
By Wislawa Szymborska

Die—you can't do that to a cat.
Since what can a cat do
in an empty apartment?
Climb the walls?
Rub up against the furniture?
Nothing seems different here,
but nothing is the same.
Nothing has been moved,
but there's more space.
And at nighttime no lamps are lit.

Footsteps on the staircase,
but they're new ones.
The hand that puts fish on the saucer
has changed, too.

Something doesn't start
at its usual time.
Something doesn't happen
as it should.
Someone was always, always here,
then suddenly disappeared
and stubbornly stays disappeared.

Every closet has been examined.
Every shelf has been explored.
Excavations under the carpet turned up nothing.
A commandment was even broken,
papers scattered everywhere.
What remains to be done.
Just sleep and wait.

Just wait till he turns up,
just let him show his face.
Will he ever get a lesson
on what not to do to a cat.
Sidle toward him
as if unwilling
and ever so slow
on visibly offended paws,
and no leaps or squeals at least to start.

Open Letter to Mr. David Langlieb

Mr. David Langlieb, you are trying to defend your article entitled "The Black Squirrel's Burden" as a “satire”. Filled with so much ignorance, hatred, racist and selfish remarks against Poles and Greenpoint --- in this case, you cannot even call it a “satire”! [unless of course you’re defending yourself] There’s a defined line between writing a clever, well-crafted satire or simply posting an ignorant text; obviously you have only mastered the latter one.

Posing as a “wanna be writer” while working for the NYC Parks Department (watch out Greenpoint for his “unbiased” transactions) by writing for your Haverford College alumni magazine. In doing so, trying to be sensational to get your name out into the real world at the expense of your neighbors. Calling your poor excuse of anything publishable, least of all a “satire”.

Living just a few months in Greenpoint does not make you the expert and decider to what would make Greenpoint a better place. You have ignored Greenpoint’s history spanning hundreds of years, its residence and its very own culture. Your comments prove that you have no basic understanding, no moral respect, nor any dignity to the human race, while lifting yourself in a “higher than thou” pedestal.

Nor is this the first time that you, Mr. Langlieb wrote an article that was ignorant and immoral. On one occasion your alma mata had asked you to “replace it one that is more productive, one that attempts to address the challenging issues of the modern world.“ as quoted from the letter that appeared in the Haverford-Bryn Mawr College newspaper [ http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/766606/posts ]. On another occasion, in the article called “Langlieb Should Resign”, you were asked to resign from one position due to the conflict of interest being on the Board of Managers and the editor of the Bi-Co as it was published in the school’s Bi-College newspaper [ http://www.biconews.com/article/view/567 ] It seems you did not learn much from the past and you are still looking for your “break” to get your attention in very provocative matters, but as you still haven’t figured it out, it is only setting you back.

The bottom line is that, finally, the Haverford College’s president Mr.Thomas Tritton and spokesman Mr. John Van Ness, agreed it was not a “satire” ["The writing was insufficiently clever and the language so ineptly employed that, rather than a work of satire with an arguable point, the end result came through as mean spirited and close minded"] and your infamous article was removed from your school’s website so as to not bring more shame. Additionally, there are highly positioned Polish-American officials, Ivy League professors and students, as well as New York City officials and politicians [Mr. David Yassky (D-Brooklyn)], all think same way; it was not a “satire” but a demeaning article to put down on the ethnic group and its neighborhood. So do you, Mr. Langlieb still want to argue your point, if it was “satire” or not?

It is time now, Mr. David Langlieb, for you to make a moral response and move on.

I don't know if I am more offended by this kid's writing or Haverford's English department. Sounds like some trust fund kid who never worked a day in his life. The kind of guy who defends his jokes with "It's Ok my gardener is Mexican" "I have a black friend" or "my roommate is Polish."

Whether satire or Langlieb's personal feelings about Polish people, the essay was in bad taste and poor judgment. (The genius identifies himself as a NYC employee. I'm guessing his next promotion will be monkey duty at the Central Park Zoo)

His writing is closer to Himmler than Jonathan Swift. What kills me is the elitist attitude I have seen from the writer and his nameless blogger friends. You can almost picture the Thurston Howell wondering out loud how only they can appreciate true satire. Is it satire when you actually write "just kidding." I can almost see them sipping their double mocha grande pumpkin frappa lattes as they IM each other on their Apple Macs. My guess is he grew up in a household where ethnic slurs were commonplace.

With the incredible fallout, I feel compassion for the guy. But he should print an apology rather than hide behind satire and some nameless blogger friends. Some writing advice: Jokes are supposed to be funny.

Archie Bunker calling his son-in law a meathead is funny while it exposes Archie as an ignorant moron. A skinhead telling jokes...err satire about exterminating African Americans..not so funny.

While I am confident that Mr. Langlieb’s essay does not reflect the views of the Park Department or the Mayor’s Office, he clearly identifies himself as a city employee in his byline. Whether misguided satire or a reflection of his true feelings for Poles, the essay was in poor taste and reflects poorly on the city of New York and Haverford college. He did a diservice to himself and his fellow alumni. There must be a few alumni donors and employers that were put off by his essay. He paints a picture of Haverford students as being pretentious, elitist self righteous twits. Who wants to hire someone like that?

I am a Polish American. Like many Polish Americans, I speak three languages. My cultural heritage includes the music of Chopin, the science of Copernicus, the poetry of Milosz and the compassion of Pope John Paul II. Not surprisingly, I take personal offense to being labeled as an illiterate moron or a rat. As an attorney, I prefer "shark" :)

Poles have contributed so much to American society; it is shameful that a City employee would disparage our hardworking community in a written publication. Polish businesses contribute to the success of New York City. In fact, Greenpoint’s Polish residents rate among the area’s highest investors. They have been honored for their efforts in helping clean up the Hudson River and for removing blight. They bring culture to a city that was built on the diversity of its immigrant population.

Mr. Langlieb owes the Polish community an apology. As a park department employee, I suggest reassigning him to clean pigeon droppings off central park’s statute of Polish King Jagiello. Otherwise, I have compassion for the guy. He made a mistake.

I don’t know, is Harlem, China Town, or Graham any Better? Do they have 24hr banana republic? LOL

For the sake of other trustafarians from non-ivy league and defensive about it private colleges, I have to assume this is satire. Nevertheless, placing it in the college alumni mag was a poor choice. To place an otherwise mildly amusing essay in this context says that the writer couldn't get it published anywhere else and construes it as something of an inside joke between alums - rather than the observent satire regarding gentrification that it is. And while I like to think we're bound to fail as a society if we can't laugh at ourselves, gentrification is perhaps too sensitive a subject right now for something as biting as this.

Guys.... Seriously. I agree with bmcgal. If you can't like see that it was like obviously a satire of the disassociation of socioeconomic forces affecting the dentists of 18th century blind tuna fishermen and how it would eventually impact on the breakup of Brittany and KFed then you are an idiot. Seriously? You missed that? You know when he compared the dumb pollacks pretty much to rats and then he told a Polish Joke. Watch out Starbucks... Langlieb is making a push for social change in the Haverford Alumni Magazine and the New York City Parks Department. I'm guessing the next batch of Central park painted cows will be dressed as Nazis.

By the way, I took an English lit class my first semester. So I am obviously an expert. Besides, I went to Haverford which makes me way smarter. It's almost like Harvard. My sister went to Yale-verford. And she agrees with me.

I'm hoping bmcgal was being sarcastic. Enough with the pseudo cliff note English majors. All of a sudden, everyone is an expert on satire.

In fairness, I suggest you replace stupid pollack in this essay with any other ethnic or racial group. What if Langlieb suggested that Brooklyn was full of dumb n..gars. What if he suggested that Greenpoint's main problem was all the Puerto Ricans living together like rats. What if he stated that he couldn't wait for the jews to be gone so that the neighborhood could get better.
I guess that's Jonathan Swiftlike biting wit too.

You can't defend this dribble as satire. Satire is more like Mayor Bloomberg sending in tanks to Greenpoint to take over Polish enclaves. Maybe give all the tanks German drivers. Or giving grenades to gang members so that they could blow each other up and have the homeless clean up the mess. Two problems solved at once. Jobs for the homeless and less crime.

The small bits of "satire" in Langlieb's essay were overpowered by what appeared to be some of his own deep seeded ethnic prejudicesthat he let slip in. He probably grew up in a house where ethnic slurs were OK. I blame his mother.

If you want to see satire, read the Onion piece that Langlieb seems to have ripped his essay off of. In my humble opinion, you can see the difference.

I don't think this kid should lose his job over this. Most recent college grads are a little to cocky for their own good.

I'm a Haverford alum and was appalled to see this in the alumni magazine. There would have been a slew of offended people and a full semester of discussion about this if it had shown up in, say, the Bi-Co. This guy was my editor when I drew for the Bi-Co, and I'm really surprised to see him go this far.

As for you, "what the hell is Haverford," we haven't heard of you either.