AUDREY HEPBURN, FACE OF A BALLERINA by Dane Youssef

Audrey Hepburn was a goddess and icon of her era, this goes without saying. But I thought I might as well say it anyway. Just out of respect for the late iconic starlet.

And for the sake of good old fashioned juicy gossip and scandal, let's dish about some nasty little issue of hers she was deathly insecure about. Yes, every woman has one.

Heh. More than one. So much more. At least one hundred.

She thought she was too fat or too short, she disliked her teeth, her whole smile. Even her entire build. Doesn't EVERY woman? Maybe they should be.

In People, she came out about her deepest, darkest secret... her deepest, darkest hatred... absolute anger for those size-10 feet.

So those feet she was handed were a trifle big for her. Yeah, they did just go over an impressive size 10.

Whoa…

The lithe delicate little one.

Hey, an all too-little known fact?

All the great female starlets who broke the mold and changed the world around them, became household names, defined their time with their presence had a pair of oversized skis: Kate Winslet, Whoopi Goldberg, Julia Louis Dreyfus, Meg Ryan, Paris Hilton, Debra Messing, Uma Thurman, Jenna Elfman. You get the idea.

And like all of them early on in their lives, they were considered her “too boyish and flat-chested” and picked on her 6-foot something guy feet. Picked on for them.

But Hepburn is a deity.

Did any of you out there know she was considered for the Emma role in “The Turning Point.” Although Audrey herself actually had experience at the barre’–little Audrey herself was a classically-trained ballerina. She’d spent years practicing the craft. Hell, she got a scholarship to a ballet boarding school!

Anne Bancroft got the role and the late Mrs. Robinson never took a class in her life, never learned a step.

But she had that powerful look, that face, those deep eyes and physical presence of a classical ballerina. The kind that doesn’t need to have trained for years, practiced all her spare time, dreamt all her life or even to know what ballet is. She just needs to pull on a tutu, a pair of tights, toe shoes and just stand onstage.

So it’s anyone’s guess whether or not Audrey would have been the wiser choice…

The times and the world have all changed. But so many people who remember when Audrey was a contemporary star, remember her as something that somewhere strangely between an angelica, a goddess, a starlet, a beauty empress, and a innocuous little girl.

Will any other come along who will… fill those shoes on hers?

Kate Winslet has some of Audrey’s way in her. So has Jennifer Love Hewitt, even playing her in a low-rent TV movie (which was great disservice as far as I’m concerned).

But one Natalie Portman seems to be the most likely to fill those 6-foot something guy shoes of Audrey’s. Of course, she plans to leave Hollywood pretty soon… for a life is psychology.

Audrey Hepburn… there was only one. And there will always be.

---With Eternal Idol Worship for this delicate little girl with the dancer's legs and the "funny face," Dane Youssef

I haven't been up to anything these days. So it goes. I can't be bothered with anything these days.

Not much on my mind these days, but what can I say? It's not important. I just don't have much to say lately. I've just been letting everything pass me by recently, but eh.

I have the pants in two colors, I love them, and I'm going to stock up, because I love to dress like it's 1959. That said, the commercial is totally annoying. But at least Gap didn't have Jennifer Love Hewitt to do her Audrey impression and dance to a Killers song or something. I hate commercials. Ugh.

Is it any surprise you fatsos don't like skinny black pants?

Agree that the use of AC/DC track is pretty no-brainer, and contrasting it with Hepburn is, I don't know, ridiculous at best. Seems like an in-house effort if you ask me. Not that an agency couldn't screw it all up just as well, but it just has that "hey! I got an idea! AC/DC! What's that song about 'black' they did!?" and then the dancing footage is a similar, "Hey...you know what rented this weekend!? Anyway, yeah, she's wearing black pants!!"

i'm sorry, no one told me that Audrey had been beatified. let us bow before the late, incarnation of the spririt of Tiffany before smiting the blasphemers for the tacky attempt at bringing the blessed one into a contemporary setting. Audrey, Mohammad, is there anyone else we're not allowed to display - I just can't keep up with it all?

one of the marvelous things about the ad is that it's so eye catching that you don't have to recognize her (thereby crossing generations). For those who recognize her or the scene, it's even more enticing (as demonstrated by the visceral response here).

So, to sum up, what people don't like are:

1. it spoils their memory of Audrey

2. Audrey wouldn't approve (some unidentified psychic connectio perhaps?)

3. Adurey would never be associated with something soooo plebian

3. the music sucks

4. they can't fit into skinny black pants

It seems like a pretty effective ad to me. You like it or hate it but you don't forget it.

i also haven't seen many ladies in the skinny black pant. which only points to one thing: they're sexy in the dressing room when you're imagining what you could wear them with, then you get self concious when you're actually going to go out in them.

im sure the majority of skinny black jeans sold are in the bottom of drawers.

which sucks, because theyre hot.. what's wrong with big asses?

This ad blows because it's such a knee-jerk response to the tired "Breakfast" resurgence that's been dragging on for too long. And everyone knows that's the least inspired AC/DC song possible to choose from- as if any of their songs is inspired.

They could have at least chosen "Big Balls"...

Thanks Anna, I thought my rhythm was off. I figured that they were forcing the beat to fit her moves or the other way around.

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Constant Dater: Very good point also funny point. But the Gap does not own the copy right pattern to skinny black pants.

I hate the ads. But what I find annoying is that she isn't even wearing fucking Gap pants, because there was no Gap back then!

The "And now ... A word from our sponsor" blog had a funny take on this commercial that I agree with (http://andnowawordfromourspons...

Audrey is NOT in sync with the music (as someone previously commented), and it's really annoying!

I read a great quote somewhere (sorry, I really can't remember where, I think it was a newspaper)- "The Gap was only able to find one person who looks good in those skinny black pants, and she's dead."

"...it's a shame whoever picked the music wasn't under 30 - something more contemporary would have broadened the the appeal."

[4] Posted by: brightelectricyummy | October 10, 2006 6:27 PM

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I don't think of Audery Hepburn in skinny black pants. I think of Jackie "O" A.K.A Mrs. John F. Kennedy. They couldn't use her, of course, because she is even classier and more sophisticated then Audrey Hepburn, not to mentin too political.

In any event, I don't know what the blogger is talking about in terms of contemporary music for broader appeal. What?

It was probably someone over 30 that had enough sense and taste to use such a sophisticated person as, Audrey Hepburn, who can sport leisure in a way everyone can understand, to sell GAP. Her appeal can not get any broader. The Audrey in the ad is old and young. Even fat girls want to get into the skinny pants. And I am sure guys want to start wearing them again also. It would take an over 30 person to intelligently select the music as well. It is like chosing wine for an upscale meal. You have to have experience with aged wines, grapes, and barrel flavors to make it compliment the meal successfully.

To chose comtemporary music would cheapen the image of Audrey Hepburn. Because today's music and clothing style can not touch the era of Audrey Hepburn. The entire era which surrounds her is about depth,creativity, great acting, great script writers. That is why she is a standard and a classic role model for entertainment. You meet standards where they are not bring them down to sub standard ideas (of today's contemporary music).

The ad should remain true to the music of the era. The dancing in the ad is a bit ackward. However, the image of a "cool" person from time past is refreshing. I like seeing her on TV channels other then TCM or PBS.

But I don't like the idea of tarnishing her image and making it cheesey by associating her with a brand other then Tiffanys. It is kind of corny because Gap is like Wal Mart, LOW END.

If the GAP is crediting the skinny black pants with increasing their sales, how come I have yet to see anyone wearing a pair of these pants? All I keep hearing are women complaining they could never pull of the look because it makes hips, thighs and butts look bigger than they really are.

So who in heck is wearing them? Are tourists taking them back to their countries thinking this is "hot New York Style"?

These ads ARE annoying. Also, now i see women in the streets who have on all black w/ the skinny black pants and it looks like the Gap vomited all over them. Guess the campaign is working!

I hate this ads also, but the connection to NY seems tenuous at best. Unless Gothamist is part of their "viral" campaign, which makes this post herpes. Now I feel that much closer to Carlos D.

I hate the ads, they make her move in crude ways. The ad ruins Audrey's image.

I was in Paris this weekend and this Gap campaign was't running there...no pushing of skinny black pants even. I wonder if Gap didn't get international rights to use Audrey.

Hubert Givengy was a pallbeaer at Audrey's funeral do you think she would have shopped at the gap?