Uh Oh, Toys R Us Goes Up Against Breastfeeding Moms

Whatever happened to discretion in this country? If you have nowhere else to go it's understandable but why flaunt it? It's bad enough that the Park Slope mommies bring their rug rats everywhere - like bars.

It isn't that people are necessarily scandalized by it. We just don't want to see people perfoming bodily functions. We don't pick our noses in public, do we?

people pick their noses in public all the time, wether we like it or not, and I've never seen anyone given shit for it, just bad looks.

It depends on whose story you believe. If it's hers, then Toys R Us sucks as, regardless of what affilation she may have. If it's Toys R Us, then it's great that they have a designated place for it.

But it's a toy store, with many parents and kids where alot of them were probably breastfeed themselves, so it's almost a double standard. Breastfeeding is natural and normal. American's are just too friggen up tight. Anywhere else in the world there wouldn't have been a stink, but this is a country where people flip at the slightest bit of nippple, we're too sheltered.

And if you've seen women breasfeeding, its never full out boob in your face, so you should put those comments aside. Most mothers are very descrete, with a towel over themselves and their baby.

While you are entitled to your opinion, breastfeeding is not really in the nose picking or bodily function category. It is a baby being fed. It is necessary for the health of the child, and often must be done every couple hours. That being said, it becomes very difficult to NOT do it in public without becoming a shut-in.

Also, most women nurse so discretely that no breast is really showing; if something does show it is for a quick second. As for "why flaunt it?" - well, because we can. The ability to not only gestate and birth a child, but to then nurish him as well is something of which to be proud. So, get your mind out of the gutter and appreciate the beauty of it. Or, here's a thought, look away.

I agree with Austin, this seems like it may be a publicity stunt. Even if it's not, what the hell is "appropriate compensation"?

Seriously, enough with the "American's are uptight" crap. This country has far more cultures mixed together than any European country. Someone is always going to be bothered by something. Sometimes we have to bend to the least offensive standard. What if there are parents with kids at Toys R Us and the kids starts asking daddy why that woman is taking her shirt off? Maybe the parent doesn't want to have to have this discussion with a four year old in the middle of the store.

As for the nose picking, you can sit in judgement of someone picking their nose but nobody can dare sit in judgement of breastfeeding?

If there is a place set aside for breast feeding, nursing mothers should use it. I think this woman is flaunting it for a cause because her mother is a high official of Le Leche League.

Wow, I guess these comments reflect the fruit of the loins of thoudsands of God-Fearing Fundie Children from Nowhere Towns.

How proud they must be.....

*sigh*

Everyone saying "just use a breastpump before you go out!" is just ignorant of how nursing works. Trust me when I say that it's a bad idea for a mom to do this on several levels- bad for supply, possible nipple confusion...

Plus, it's a pain in the ass, and why should moms *have* to pump and bottlefeed in public? It's just a baby eating.

Given the usual level of "customer service" in this city, I have no trouble believing that store employees did a very poor job communicating with this woman and were, more than likely, downright rude.

Pumping isn't always an option, and it's disingenuous to imply it is.

The La Leche League leave the impression of zealots who've hijacked a point worthy of much discussion. Some LLL members' rhetoric remind me of the way *some* lesbians with identity issues treat bisexual women.

We're not being 'sheltered' when the sight of Janet Jackson's nipple instigates Congressional hearings. We're being told how to talk and behave. It's a process of control.

People are way too eager to let others think they're outraged by mommas and their lactating boobies.

Publicity stunt or no, suing for compensation always gets more attention than just suing for an apology. What does -that- say about us?

neil.....THANK YOU!!!

Another note:

Everyone is missing the fact that three employees harrassed the woman.

What happened to customer service. What kind of customer service is that? The employees need to be retrained.

THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT....!!!

If the Emperor is naked....we don't need the comon lowly staff to tell the King his business. Treat customers like gold and...with the highest respect. Let a manager handle situations that could potentially damage the integrity of the store. If handled wrong, the situation could cause a decline in business. When you rent on Time Square, you need all the good business you can get. That business is mothers and fathers with children and grandchildren. Aunts, Uncles, relatives, friends...etc...etal... Especially, new born children. Expectant mothers register at Toys R Us for shower gifts. It is big business.

"There are children around."

That's a good one. I guess it doesn't occur to this minimum wage sales clerk that it's us adults that have sexually stigmatized breasts. Children don't give a rat's ass.

As for the boob (pun intended) who asked "whatever happened to discretion" above, the article did say she went to an out of the way place.

Finally, for the other boob who claims it's a bodily function, well, so it is. But it's not elimination. It's consumption. "What's next?" Maybe people eating and drinking in public. Oh, the horror! My eyes, my eyes! Can we ever survive that?

If there was a designated breast-feeding area then she should have used it. Children's love or fear of breasts is irrelevant. The burden was on her to decipher the store employees' efforts to communicate that a breast-feeding area existed. The employees are hired based on their willingness to wear a smock and get paid poorly not their communication skills. It's clear that she has a breast, er, axe to grind.

Brightliner:
It funny that she says she was in an out of the way place in one sentence, then claims they were there within 30 seconds of starting the feeding. Seems it would be difficult to rectify both statements.

Toys R us will lose, did you see the mother's cute little daughter on TV? (they were celebrating her birthday)
Put her on the stand vs. TRU and we'll see who's gonna win. That and the LAW states mothers can breast feed.
HA HA, you uptight suckas.

Brightliner: Some people do eat like they were raised in a cave. It may not be a bad idea to have some people eat in the pitch dark.

"re-re"

What's so hard about "rectifying" both statements? Do you mean perhaps "reconcile?" Do you think a woman can just "whip it out" and go for it? Even with a nursing bra, it can take a minute to get ready. How about this for a scenario: She sits down in a corner and begins her preparations, unbuttoning her blouse. Some uptight customer (probably a male, since the negative comments here are predominantly males who likely aren't fathers, and possibly a smoker who thinks they're discriminated against because they're forced to take unhealthy secondhand smoke outside ;-) sees her getting ready and runs to a clerk, yelling, "There's a woman stripping!" 30 seconds after she finally starts nursing, clerk begins harassment. How do you know the clerk didn't run up to her anyway?

Whatever happened to discretion? People forget that discretion runs both ways. If they're not flaunting it, you don't have to stare. And she wasn't flaunting it. Any imbecile who commented that she was had better be able to point out any sentence in any of the articles that said she just did it in the middle of the store, or they should just shut up.

with this thread the myth of New Yorkers being sophisticated is officially busted.

Breastfeeding is 1000% appropriate when done discreetly -- just like many, many things are appropriate when done discreetly.

And, like many things, even 1000% appropriate activities can cross the line into inappropriateness when they're *not* done with discretion.

If everyone could just be sensitive to their fellow man, er woman...... the world would be better for everyone including breastfeeding mommies!

re-re: use the brain God gave you. Two customers. 1 + 1 = 2. They are both right...dah dee dumb.

The both need to be treated as customers the store values.

Personally, I don't even believe that a real customer complained. I think it is plausible that the staff just went ballistic.

The discrepancy between the Toy flack's account and the woman's basically says that somebody is lying, big time. It boils down to this: Which do you believe - a bunch of midtown clerks bully some woman and then a manager tries to gloss over it, or woman is treated politely but makes up lots of untrue details in an effort to gain attention.

(Like someone already suggested, let's see the security tape!)

I happen to live in the same neighborhood as Chelsi and know her. She is a lovely woman who contributes much to our community, as does the rest of her family. I know that this is not a stunt, but a genuine reaction to outrageous and unenlightened behavior on the part of Toys R Us. I stand fully behind her, and think it's stunning that people are still so uncomfortable watching a woman feed her infant. If they are uncomfortable or disgusted, that's something they need to deal with -- not Chelsi or any other breastfeeding woman who are using their breasts in the way they are meant to be used.

As a side note, it's ironic that all this took place in a Toys R Us located in Times Square. If folks want to avoid seeing exposed breasts (and usually outside the context of breastfeeding), choose another neighborhood to frequent!

Michael,

Have you seen the giant Jenna Jameson billboard or the big adds for the Hawaiian Tropic Restaurant and bar? Surely those are more sexualized than a woman feeding her kid.

To Whom It May Concern,

Shows what you know. Until today, I've posted maybe twice in the last week, hardly "daily." You with your usual dose of wild exaggeration. You're even too cowardly to come up with your own nick. You are a boob and chickenshit to boot. Somehow, I don't think you'll be replying to this with a real nick.

i just realized my "nick" is "nick"

this rules, by the way.

http://img301.imageshack.us/img301/9496/breastfeedingft6.png

Just for those who forgot or didn't know...

There is a law that states women can breastfeed publicly without any prejudice or penalty. Again, a law.

Despite your distatse for it, she had every right to breastfeed wherever in the store she chose. While it may be more polite to use a designated area, she would not have been required to do so.

Wow, the ignorance abounds. I proudly breastfed my child for two years. I tried to time outings around his in between feeding times, but sometimes it was not realistic. As far as pumps, that is all well and good, but anyone with experience and knowledge will tell you that NOT ALL women can pump successfully, or in great quantities. I was one of them. My son has never been sick, and has a healthy, slim body unlike the formula fed tribe. And, I actually had people that were so oblivious to the fact that I was BF my child in public, that they would start a conversation with me and then be very surprised when he extracated himself.

Is it barbaric for a dog to feed her welps? Humans are animals, plain and simple. I find it intriguing that in my experience, the people that oppose bf in public most, are very religious and right wing. You know what? Your Lord and Savior sucked on boobs for at least the first couple years of his life, and if you believe in God, then you should realize God put those things there for more than holding up your Ralph Lauren sweater.

You can go anywhere else in the world, and not have a second glance if you nurse your child, but in the US, it is some sort of travesty. It's okay to allow your children to watch Monday night football, which is so barbaric that the players have to wear so much protective gear, but feeding our babies is a sin. Please, spare me the Puritanical BS.

As for this woman, she should have an apology. Compensation, no. But I certainly would never shop there again if I were her.

could someone please explain this to me...

don't "public" laws not pertain to private areas, such as retail stores, malls, etc... wouldn't a public law mean she could breastfeed her child on city property such as parks, sidewalks, etc etc.

"§ 14-190.9. Indecent exposure.
(B) Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a woman may breast feed in any public or private location where she is otherwise authorized to be, irrespective of whether the nipple of the mother's breast is uncovered during or incidental to the breast feeding.

They key here is, "where she is otherwise authorized to be." She was authorized to breast feed in the basement, not on the showroom floor.

Regardless, the management should have handled the situation in a professional manner. Why is this a blog source? Because Toy R Us does not know how to treat customers.

"where she is otherwise authorized to be," means flatly that if a woman, as an individual, has a right to be in that space, then she has a right to breastfeed there. she is authorized to shop in a toy store, so may breastfeed there. (it is within the store's right to ask her not to breastfeed in the store's stockroom because she is not authorized, as a non-employee, to be there, nor is any other non-employee.)

the breastfeeding area is provided by the store as a courtesy, not as a mandatory pen for lactating mothers. courtesy extends both ways, of course, and a woman may move to the breastfeeding area, but is not obligated under the law or any enforceable store policy to do so.

Hey Michael: I live in NYC and been to Times Square more than a few times in the past few months. Look up at the advertising marquees next time you're there.

MH: Sorry that breastfeeding makes you uncomfortable. There are lots of things that make me uncomforable -- and I recognize that it's my problem, not someone else's. You must admit that there's a huge difference between someone yelling "fire" in a crowded theatre and someone feeding a hungry child. It's a poor equation.

Do you mean a lawyer with a license to practice and passed the bar. Or purchased your degree off of the internet lawyer? And your specialty is civil liberties?

Brightliner: you should save the scenarios for Hollywood screne writers. Learn to comprehend what you read, and keep your response in the context that relates to the issue. It helps to understand what you are talking about when you respond. I have read all of your posts and they all are a misguided response to other threads. Your mind is high on exaggeration.

If men could breastfeed, too, would attitudes be different? Discuss.

Why is stating that one does not want to see a woman breastfeeding her offspring automatically make people assume you are a conservative fundamentalist? For me, the issue is not the boob being revealed. (I'm not sure about this, but I think it's legal for women to go topless in NY.) I don't have a problem with breasts. But nursing is another ballpark. It's a bodily function, and like pissing or pooping, it seems it should be done in private. I really don't understand why once someone has a child they seem to become incredibly selfish and forget that a world exists beyond their brood.

Babies pee and poop in public all the time. Maybe that means families should be forced to stay home until the babies are potty trained.

The most boisterous crowd against BF in public ARE conservative. I can appreciate someone being uncomfortable with a mother that is not discreet AT ALL, but the majority of BF mothers I have known, talked to, seen, etc., are very discreet. And BF clothing makes it virtually impossible to see anything. If it makes you feel any better, imagine the mother is holding a bottle while nuzzling her child.

And by the way, eating is also a bodily function that people do in public all the time. Hell, if you go to a club or bar, you're bound to see someone puking, and even taking a piss outside because they are too drunk to know any better. Do what the rest of the thinking world does. Ignore it and move on. Complain to your buddies about it. Cringe in a corner, whatever.

'More employees appeared to tell Meyerson she had to move because there were "children around," '

Yes, in fact there was one on her boob at that very moment!

Seriously, big deal! It's only a boob. Get a life.

Only in the US would you have this happen.
I am so sick of this nonsense. For all of you who want to hide nursing moms in the basement. Bad words come to mind. Let's put it this way! You have no clue what most moms go through to nurse their babies. I had a horrible infection on one of my breasts. My daughter would not latch. Then only on the left side. I went through so much pain you have no idea. The last thing on my mind were closed-minded,ignorant people with sexuality hang-ups. I did anything I could to nurse my daughter. You should appreciate every mom that cares to breastfeed. It keeps healthcare costs lower. That is good for all of society.
To all of you who say: She should just pump! Who are you? have you pumped? Babies benefit from direct breast contact. Numerous studies have shown that this is extremly beneficial for mom's and child's health. If you have no clue, don't talk.
Don't compare breastfeeding to peeing, pooping, and picking your nose. How silly is that? When I read such stuff I must ask myself if some people have actually made it past a second grade education. My 13 year old son has more sense than that.
If your children are afraid of boobs, it's time to tell them that boobs have a natural function. Maybe you should seek counseling if you are this uptight.
If anyone would have told me to go in the basement they would have been in trouble. All I have to say is that there are lots of people that I think should be locked up in there. Right-wing Republicans are an example. Or, let's see, women with big implants and trashy looks could go in there. Oh wait- I am more tolerant. I look away when something bothers me.

I highly doubt that the woman was flaunting her breasts by feeding her child. Whatever the case, no one should have approached her for doing it. If the baby's hungry and the mother finds a comfortable spot (outside of the "designated" area), she should still be allowed to breastfeed. I mean, it's not like she was offering breastmilk to kids who were not her own!

Just here to say right on! to all the eloquent people on this thread who, hey actually understand the damn law, and also that breastfeeding moms are doing something that is normal, healthy, and legal. Honest to god, how immature do you have to be to not be able to look away if it offends you? You call yourself New Yorkers? How do you ride the subways with all the fat hairy men in transparent tees and drooling drunks, then? They're a hell of a lot more objectionable-looking than some innocent mom.

Hard to believe so many big strong manly types are completely unable to handle the idea that boobies make milk and babies need to eat from them. Oh horrors! You're a bunch of crybabies. Get a life.

Oh and as to the debate about the laws stating that a mother can breastfeed anywhere that she is legally allowed access to by law it simply means exactly that. If she is allowed to be in that area at any time then she is allowed to nurse there. It does not mean that she allowed to nurse in that store but only in the designated square they offer for breastfeeding in some dank basement it means if she is allowed in the store she is allowed to nurse there. After all, she is not only allowed to shop in their basement is she? No, she is allowed to shop the entire store so therefore she may feed her child where ever she may shop, walk, stand, sit or otherwise occupy space. So, can she walk into the corporate offices in the back to nurse? No, the stock room? No. But the rest of the store? YES... without question.

I tend to believe the store over the milking mommy specifically because of what organization her mother is involved with. And most normal women would look for an out of the way place to express milk instead of flaunting it like a $2 dollar whore.

As a PR rep for Toys “R” Us, can I just say that this has been much ado about nothing? Two sides to every story right? See the Timeline below.

Thanks.

Richard Laermer
CEO
RLM PR

Toys “R” Us, Inc. Response to Allegations Made By the NYCLU

Re: Ms. Chelsi Meyerson

Thursday, September 14

- New York Civil Liberties Union (NYCLU) issued a press release to the media alleging that Toys “R” Us Times Square employees had not allowed a guest, Chelsi Meyerson, to breastfeed her child on the selling floor.

- After issuing the press release, the NYCLU sent a letter to Toys “R” Us, Inc. Chairman and CEO, Jerry Storch, reiterating their allegations, and giving Toys “R” Us no time to fully investigate Ms. Meyerson’s claims before sending their release to the media and notifying Toys “R” Us

- Subsequently, the NYCLU claimed Ms. Meyerson had “exhausted all her options” of trying to contact someone at the company. However, upon speaking to Ms. Meyerson, Toys “R” Us learned she had contacted Guest Services, but made no attempt to contact Jerry Storch, despite the NYCLU’s ability to fax him a letter directly, nor did she call Ron Boire, President of Toys “R” Us, U.S., or anyone in the Public Relations Department, whose contact information is readily available on the company’s corporate website.

- Upon receiving media calls about the NYCLU’s press release, Toys “R” Us worked quickly to determine the facts and issue a public statement denying the allegations and stating the company’s breastfeeding policy.

- In the meantime, Ms. Meyerson and the NYCLU conducted a series of media interviews, which continued into Friday, September 15, telling their version of the “facts”.

Friday, September 15

- Toys “R” Us continued its thorough investigation of the allegations to determine the chain of events.

- Among other things, Toys “R” Us spoke to employees who had contact with Ms. Meyerson (on 9/11/06) and/or observed the situation, and reviewed security tapes.

- Toys “R” Us issued an internal communication to all Toys “R” Us stores and Babies “R” Us stores nationwide to reiterate the company’s in-store breastfeeding policy.

- The Toys “R” Us Public Relations team began receiving calls from breastfeeding moms and breastfeeding educators, who shared their positive experiences in Babies “R” Us and Toys “R” Us stores. Several of these people offered to speak to the media on behalf of Toys “R” Us.

Monday, September 18

- Mindy Clements, General Manager of Toys “R” Us Times Square, called Ms. Meyerson to discuss her “experience” and to apologize to the extent Ms. Meyerson felt she had been harassed or embarrassed.

- Toys “R” Us sent letters from Jerry Storch and from Mindy Clements to the NYCLU (see attached) in response to the NYCLU’s 9/14/06 letter.

Tuesday, September 19

- Toys “R” Us had a subsequent conversation with the NYCLU to reiterate the company’s policy on breastfeeding in stores, to share the conversation Toys “R” Us had with Ms. Meyerson, and to inform the NYCLU it was incumbent upon them to correct the public record

Wednesday, September 20

- Toys “R” Us called to the NYCLU to determine the steps the NYCLU had taken to set the record straight. No response was received.

Here's the official Toys "R" Us and Babies "R" Us breastfeeding policy:

Toys "R" Us, Inc.'s nursing policy, applicable in all Toys "R" Us and Babies "R" Us stores, is as follows:

Any mother may breastfeed her child in the place of her choice within our stores. Although some of our stores have designated areas for mothers to feed, remember that it is the mother's choice as to where she would prefer to breastfeed. Our organization is fully committed to the rights of breastfeeding mothers.

Regards,

Richard Laermer

Amidst all this, Toys R Us carries female action figures that reveal more than any breastfeeding mothers do!

I have to say that it is ESPECIALLY possible! Despite that the human race is alive ONLY because of breastmilk, society still condemns it!

How sad!!

Let's just say that, just like Delta, Toys R Us now have a negative image with La Leche League International, breastfeeding professionals (like myself) and countless nursing mothers around the world!

Is the following comment from "Shawn" for real?:

Breastfeeding in public is disgusting and barbaric. Hasn't this woman heard of a breast pump! Or better yet, baby formula

Better yet, baby formula? What have you ever read or heard that qualifies formula as "better" in any way or form? Are ya kidding me? Disgusting and barbaric? I am blown away by the stupidity of your statement.

To the other comments about conservative, religious people, I would never describe myself as religious (because I don't care for that term), but I am a committed Christian and fully believe that God created breasts to feed babies from Cain and Abel through Jesus through my son. Plain and simple. I am so sorry that other Christians have set a bad example. I strongly believe women have every right to breastfeed whenever and wherever their babies are hungry.