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I broke my personal record for the single most lucrative fare I’ve ever taken in my five years a yellow cabbie. I drove a couple who’d been out on the town shopping all day to their place off Farmer’s Boulevard in Queens. We listened to the traffic report, and when they heard Matt Ward say that there was a jam on the Van Wyck, they told me to take the Belt. I warned them that it would be extremely expensive because it’s about twice the distance, but they assured me that cash wasn’t an issue.
As we crossed the Manhattan Bridge I handed my Caselogic full of cassette tapes that I’d collected between 1983 and 1991 through the partition. “It’s gonna be a drive, so why don’t you pick out some tunes,” I suggested as I always do when I’ve got a working tape deck and a long haul ahead of me. They settled on Nina Simone, and we were jamming to Mississippi Goddamn by the time we merged onto the BQE.
But I thought I’d drop some knowledge on them, so I said, “If we’re heading to Farmer’s Boulevard, I feel like we should be rockin’ the bells with some LL Cool J.” They LOVED it. Cackling laughter filled the cab. The girl kicked the back of my seat repeatedly as she literally slapped her knee. The guy, when he finally caught his breath, shouted, “OOOOOH SNAP. My boy said . . . my boy said ‘LL Cool J’ . . . White boy said ‘ROCK THE BELLS.’” I was very proud.
I was their hero for the rest of the ride. We all showed off our old school hip hop knowledge, biting rhymes from LL, RunDMC, The Beastie Boys (that was me), and the Treacherous Three. We listened to half of "Walking With The Panther." And then they stiffed me on the tip.
The fare was $67, and they said they said they weren’t expecting it to be that much. I really didn’t mind, and I told them a tip on good food in the neighborhood would be more appreciated than money anyway.
They enthusiastically informed me of Kuntry Bickle back out on Farmer’s Boulevard. The girl was Jamaican, and she implored me to order the ox tail as though it was a matter of life and death. So I did, and I’ve never enjoyed ox tail so thoroughly. The meat was succulent, and it pulled off the bone without much effort. Unfortunately, my plate was heavy on the vegetables and light on the ox tail. I can’t say it was a good deal, but I shouldn’t have been surprised since the recommendation came from a couple who clearly didn’t have much regard for bargains.
Still, I was happy to have found a tasty spot on Farmer’s, because back in the day before I was THC, I used to hang up on the corner eating the pickles people see. Always told the brothers if I got a contract, when the money started flowin’ I’d be back. To eat a meal against all odds. . . Introduce the eater #1 to Farmer’s Boulevard.
Kuntry Bickle, 138-30 Farmer’s Blvd., Queens, 718-990-8929
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Ox Tail looks better then that shot gives it credit for, not to mention it tastes pretty damn good.
http://167.153.150.32/RI/web/detail.do?method=detail&restaurantId=41175989&inspectionDate=20060708
KUNTRY BICKLE
138-30 FARMERS BOULEVARD, QUEENS 11434
Current violation points: 12
Inspection Date: 07/08/2006
Violations were cited in the following area(s) and those requiring immediate action were addressed.
1.) Plumbing not properly installed or maintained; anti-siphonage or backflow prevention device not provided where required; equipment or floor not properly drained; sewage disposal system in disrepair or not functioning properly.
2.) Wiping cloths dirty or not stored in sanitizing solution.
3.) Evidence of flying insects or live flying insects present in facility's food and/or non-food areas.
Yea. Is it possible to get a decent camera. Every single photo in these segments makes the food look so unappealing. This is the worst. I think I stepped in this the other morning in the subway
Forget these cheeseballs, Dave. This may have been the most authentic Queens piece ever posted on this hipsterfied blog. And to hmm: you oughtta see the list of violations for your favorite eatery....before the little 'gift' to the inspector.
Carry on.
YES! "Farmer's Boulevard's the place/ handing me a mic is like givin a chainsaw to leatherface"...oh snap, LL, that made my day, even if the thought of eating an ox tail made me a little nauseous. rock out hungry cabbie
If you can't afford to tip the cab driver, you can't afford to take a cab. Hungry Cabbie, you're far more patient than I'd be.
12 violation points is nothing. All your fancy restuarants have higher scores
hmm needs to shut up. just rude. like when vegetarians tell you where that hamburger really came from while you're chowing down. plus this is nyc, health code violations abound. flying insects = extra protein.
and bierch, wanna buy dave "a decent camera"? well, then quit being a dick.
Hmm, you and Blah should get a room (insect-free) and suck each other off, as you both posted the same annoying violations comment on two different food stories. But you're probably the same person, so hopefully you're flexible enough to nuzzle your own sack and shut the f up.
case in point:
http://167.153.150.32/RI/web/detail.do?method=detail&restaurantId=40562839&inspectionDate=20051014
JEAN GEORGES
1 CENTRAL PARK WEST, MANHATTAN 10023
212-299-3900
Current violation points: 16
Inspection Date: 10/14/2005
Violations were cited in the following area(s) and those requiring immediate action were addressed.
1.) Sanitized equipment or utensil, including in-use food dispensing utensil, improperly used or stored.
2.) Food Protection Certificate not held by supervisor of food operations.
Jean Georges is considered to be the best restaurant in all New York. Their violation rating is higher.
http://167.153.150.32/RI/web/detail.do?method=detail&restaurantId=40704324&inspectionDate=20060110
SUSHI YASUDA
205 EAST 42 STREET, MANHATTAN 10017
212-972-1001
Current violation points: 26
Inspection Date: 01/10/2006
Violations were cited in the following area(s) and those requiring immediate action were addressed.
1.) "Choking first aid" poster not posted."Alcohol and Pregnancy" Warning sign not posted. "Wash hands" sign not posted at hand wash facility. Resuscitation equipment: exhaled air resuscitation masks(adult & pediatric), latex gloves, sign not posted. Inspection report sign not posted.
2.) Lighting inadequate. Fixture not shielded.
3.) Sanitized equipment or utensil, including in-use food dispensing utensil, improperly used or stored.
4.) Food worker does not use proper utensil to eliminate bare hand contact with food that will not receive adequate additional heat treatment.
5.) Hot food not held at or above 140°F.
This isn't just any old sushi place, this is the highest rated japanese restaurant by Zagat's this year. I've eaten there, it's excellent, and will definitely go back.
So, for the finger wagging fools such as "hmm" well, I guess this speaks for itself. I wonder if there isnt a little bit of elitist maybe even racist motivation behind their post. Kinda makes me say hmmmmm......
hahahah, I just checked Per Se for grins, and yup, they have 14 points.
Don't forget shake shack's 140 points.
Yep, I hade to go back and check, it's 140 points.
well actually its 109, but who's counting ;)
ok, although the point has already been made abundantly clear, I would like to point out that Hmm, while quick to try and cast a negative light on Kuntry Bickle by showing us it's status with the department of health, failed to notice in the little box to the right that the average score for all NY restaurants is 12 and that anything under 28 passes and is considered acceptable. ok, I'm done now.
that oxtails looks yummy!
yeah hmmm is just a fucking douchelord who just found out how to look up restaurants' inspection scores and now sits home jizzing all over his keyboard every time he gets a chance to show off how "smart" he is... fucking die you fucking twat.
I love oxtails and that looks yummy.
Sucks that this was once considered scraps now costs ten bucks a pound.
HMM needs to shut the F up. Making an effort to point out health code violations?! What, you're getting bored with rubbing them out to your mother's Ladies' Home Journal back issues? If you don't like this column, stop reading it. You're retarded. And you, Blerch, if you don't like the f*cking photos:
1. Stop reading this column
2. Send FFD a new, really expensive f*cking camera and some filters. Maybe he'll keep taking different types of photos, submit each and every one for your priceless approval, and then we can ALL breathe easier because an ASSHAT named Blerch likes the photos on this blog.
(Admin: Right on time, no?)