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In this week's New Yorker, Fred Willard goes on a Gray Line bus tour of the city with writer Tad Friend (aka Amanda Hesser's Mr. Latte). And Willard analyzes the tour guide's skills from the upper deck of the bus. Here's an excerpt, and for background, the tour guide is a "small Japanese-American woman":
As the bus drove down West Seventy-second Street, past the Dakota, where John Lennon was killed, Willard looked away: “It’s too recent, like O.J.’s house.” Peering into Central Park, he continued, “I wonder how long it’ll be before they start building in there. Just one little restaurant. Then a gift shop. That’s how it starts.”Sadly, there were no bloodhounds on the scene, so he could not suggest that they wear a Sherlock Holmes hat and smoke a pipe. And now Gothamist must watch Best in Show tonight.
...
In Harlem, the guide explained that black people’s hair was different and that they all went to church in their good clothes, whereas everyone else in the city was too busy to be religious, especially the Jews. Back in midtown, she pointed out two famous “Jewish delicatessens,” the Carnegie and the Stage. “Lots of remarks about Jews and blacks,” Willard observed, “yet we haven’t even mentioned Pearl Harbor.”
Willard is also the narrator for the Bear City SNL short films. And if you're in the mood for a Gray Line tour, also consider watching The Cruise.
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I'm so glad you've seen "The Cruise." That's a time capsule-worthy film that brilliantly captures the semi-demented soul of NYC and its residents. When he's not doing voiceover work for "Stroker and Hoop", Timothy Levitch still gives tours of New York. That should be the next Gothamist-sponsored event!
I can't do my wuhk
WTH??? I can't believe that in 2006 someone would say that B.S. about Harlem and Jews. What the hell?
I think Fred would have had more fun on my uptown. We do have a whole bunch of stinky guides. Many barely speak english. But perhaps this is what most tourists deserve, as the most commonly asked question on the uptown tour is ("where's ground zero").
Huh? I was once told by a major bus tour guide that a lot of the guides are teachers who give the tours during their summers off. Also, isn't there a required quiz that the guides take that tests their knowledge of NYC?
The tour guide was Japanese-American? How does Willard know that? Japanese-Americans are a rarity in NYC, but certainly not in California. (Most Japanese in NYC are Japanese citizens who come here for just a few years to work at Japanese or Japanese-affiliated companies.)
Some of the guides may not be particularly knowledgeable, but I can't rule out that Fred Willard was exaggerating in a lame attempt to get a few giggles.