The Spirit of Newman Lives On

Firefighters responding to reports of a fire on Clarendon Road in East Flatbush actually happened upon a federal offense: Ten bags of undelivered mail, dating from 2002 - not to mention "smoldering letters" nearby. And the culprit? A mail carrier! The Post reports that Gregory Mewborn was arrested after the strange discovery. There must be at least a hundred people who can now legitimately claim they never got that bill or jury summons. And this reminds us of the classic Seinfeld episode, the Andrea Doria, where George tries to get an apartment with an intense co-op board but the B-plot is funnier, with Jerry trying to get Newman a transfer to be a mail carrier in Hawaii by taking over his route. And of course wacky antics ensue:

NEWMAN: That was the Vice President of the post office. I didn't get the transfer.. They knew it wasn't me doing my route!

JERRY: How did they know?!

NEWMAN: (Stands up) Too many people go their mail! Close to 80%. No body from the post office has ever cracked the 50% barrier! It's like the 3-minute mile!

JERRY: (Pleading) I tried my best!

NEWMAN: Exactly. You're a disgrace to the uniform.

And the U.S. Post Office just proposed a "forever stamp," which would be good for any first class postage after rate changes (stamps will stay 39-cents through 2007).