`illin: The Thursday Health Buzz

Hard Crowd (or Room Full of Stiffs)

Ever find yourself wondering what you're allowed to laugh at and what you're supposed to be offended by? Us too. Which is why we're so torn over NY State Health Commissioner Antonia Novello's comment/joke last week that Hispanic men don't need Viagra and "have other ways of performing." The comments, which were made at a Hispanic legislator's conference last weekend, offended many who attended the Somos El Futuro conference, a forum to recognize Hispanics in the arts, at the Governor's mansion last Saturday. In the end, we figure there are worse things that can be said about a person.

Low-Fat Milk + Red Vines = Just Plain Crazy

Kids looking to get their mitts on a bottle of Mountain Dew for their recess fix may have some trouble doing so from now on. The American beverage industry is set to begin withdrawing sugary sodas as well as high sugar fruit drinks from schools throughout the country. It seems that the same lawyers who sued the tobacco companies were on the verge of suing soda companies who peddled their wicked wares in schools. From now on, junior may only be able to imbibe unsweetened juice, low-fat milk, and water. Sounds yummy. We wonder if drug dealers will expand inventories to sell cola.

Sneeze Your Way to the Top

We're usually pretty happy when New York City moves up in most rankings, like when it became the safest big town in America. We were a bit less pleased to learn that it now ranks at 11 out of America's top 100 "allergy capitals," up from #88 last year. Despite the recent coolness of this spring season, more New Yorkers are developing symptoms of allergies than ever before. So keep the Kleenex handy.

Newsflash: The Alcohol Industry Makes a Lot of Money from Underage Drinkers

No surprise there. But we figure you remember as much of college as you need to.