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Mitzvah Tank Invasion!

2006_4_mitztank1.jpg

Yes, we are aware of widespread reports of a line of 56 Mitzvah Tanks driving slowly through Manhattan. At first, we thought the Hasidim had decided to topple the godless Bloomberg administration in a bloody coup, but then we got this press release from Lubavitcher World Headquarters:

New Yorkers and tourists heading out for lunch this Thursday April 6 2006 could be greeted by an unexpected surprise. A parade, consisting of fifty-six motor homes, known as mitzvah tanks, will march through the streets of Manhattan, in celebration of the 104th birthday of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson.

A team of young rabbinical students, ranging from sixteen to twenty-five years of age, has raised approximately $75,000 to host the mitzvah tank parade...

TENTATIVE Parade Route: Brooklyn: Eastern Parkway TO Flatbush Ave. Manhattan Bridge to Sixth Ave. Up Sixth Ave. to 59th Street Down Fifth Ave. to Twenty Third Street

So that's a relief! We were totally worried we'd have to grow beards!

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Comments [rss]

  • Leah

    1- Where on earth did you get that picture, and what is its connection to NY? It's nearly 30 years old, and was borrowed for a week from Detroit!

    2- No Lubavitcher on the Mitzvah Tanks EVER asked anyone for money - not even a cent. Their purpose is solely to re-acquaint Jews with Judaism.

    3- A small 1 line blessing is made and one shakes the palm branch, together with a citron, and willow and myrtle branches, symbolizing unity.

    4- If you bother reading the Bible, you'll see in black and white that G-d gave Israel to the Jews. The Arabs pushed out the Jews, and the Jews only came back home. The Arabs ordered their own people to evacuate. (Check it out -- it's a fact!) Arab-Israeli citizens were always treated well in Israel.

    Nice knowing you guys. I won't be back.

  • lalaland

    does anyone know how to get back on to the internet superhighway from here?

  • D

    Kojak and Mike...the dumbass leading the dumbass.

  • Kojak

    Aint she Chinese? Mike you dumbass

  • Mike

    Great! Another Gothamist headline inspires anti-semitism! And this time it wasn't that jap Jen Chung!

  • C

    whenever these idiots ask me if i'm jewish i respond with "are you?!" and get out of there...

  • Kojak

    I think your getting what happened in Brooklyn mixed up with what happened in poland, 1942 Hebrew Hammer...

  • Kojak

    Thanks Alex

    I forgot my Webster's Jewish Dictionary at home

  • Hebrew Hammer

    I was also there and the Police were monsters. They brandished their guns and shoved them into peoples faces. One police officer beat a woman, took her infant son and said "the only good jew is a dead jew" and then branded a swastika on her child's forehead with a dull blade. This is why we were angry and mildly protested in a peaceful manner.

  • alex

    ummm Kojak, it's "chutzpah" not "Hutspah." But then Yiddish is all Greek to me.

  • JEWISH GUY

    Everyone must obey JEWISH LAW! Those damn Nazi Cops don't know that we control that neighborhood. How dare they say we will treat an old poor defenseless man like a "NIGGER". I was at the protest and we acted that way cause the police said they would kill us and put us in concentration camps and were yelling "fuck you dirty jews! We will shoot you all! Heil Hitler. White Power!". I couldn't believe it.

  • alex

    As the great thespian Edward G. once said, "Where's your Messiah now, huh???" Schneerson will rise up and save us from Gestapo cops who harrass little old men yakking away on their cell while driving.

  • JESUS CHRIST

    Fucking Mitzvah tanks should be confiscated and pounded. They are always driving around with bullhorns saying some shit in hebrew with loudspeakers disturbing the peace. The worst is when those hasids come out and into buildings going "DO ANY JEWS LIVE HERE?" with those tree branch thingies. I always wonder what the fuck they do to other jews with those tree branches.

  • Kojak

    ethos, I've had enough of your Hutspah Mr

  • Dudes follwed your webmaster halfway down the street, after an initial question of 'are you Jewish' was answered in the negative. I guess they had to make sure.

    www.forgotten-ny.com

  • abba

    ryan:

    That would be them.

  • ethos

    ^Oh, that's just Kojak, poor dear, who doesn't know sh!t from shinola. Time for you to take the blue pill.

    @ TimN: LOL "Abbey Road" was the first thing I thought of too.

  • Kojak

    First they occupy Palestine and displace millions of muslims, and now the East Coast???

    The Line must be drawn HERE!

  • zack

    "these posts" ?

    what are you referring to?

    does someone have a small dick?

    sounds like it!

  • Marc

    I'm starting to get ticked off at these posts. Just saying.

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