The Newest Apprentice

The always parenthetical (real estate mogul, media tycoon, friend of Regis) Donald Trump is a father again! Trump's wife Melania Knauss Trump gave birth to a boy earlier today after eight hours of labor. Already, the newest Trump is on board to help ratings for the fifth season of "The Apprentice". It is only surprising that he waited a full twenty minutes before going to the press, but no word if the baby is yooge.

''Everyone's perfect,'' Trump said in a telephone interview on ''Imus in the Morning,'' "I continue to stay young, right? I produce children, I stay young,'' While Gothamist is glad that he has yet to turn to actual cloning to stay young, we do wonder if Trumpster has some enhancement pills or frozen sperm hidden away in order to achieve permanent youth. (We are picturing some underground grotto filled with fertility idols and rivers of Propecia.) The yet to be named Trump is right on the cusp of being a Pisces, making him compassionate and sensitive.

Gothamist is in a tizzy trying to predict what The Donald might name this, his fifth child. Since Donald Jr. is already taken, we are thinking "Little Regis" maybe. The baby will definitely be screwed if the Donald lets the Apprentince teams name him.