This is definitely a novel use for a bowling ball: 71 year old Douglas Stiff claims that he threw a bowling ball 17 floors from his Brooklyn apartment in order to turn off some bright lights outside. Stiff says that his glaucoma makes his eyes sensitive, so therefore he had to do something about it; the Post adds that Stiff testified he didn't know the police were actually on the ground. But the problem is that according to the initial reports after the March 2004 incident, Stiff actually called the police to report a burglary - and threw the ball at them. And glaucoma or no, the ball managed to land five feet away from the cops (no one was injured). Gothamist would have gone with an insanity plea, but we suppose to "I'm a senior and I have glaucoma and this bowling ball laying around that's appropriate to minimize light sources 17 stories away" is another way to go.