Extra, Extra
Extra, Extra
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Early Addition
It's Oscar Night and Gothamist is here. Tonight, it'll be a joint effort, from our resident film guru Karen Wilson and our resident Oscar freak Jen Chung. We hope you weigh in with what you think!
KW: I have my popcorn, my diet coke -- I am ready for the spectacle and the excess.
JC: ALL RIGHT! I just took extra Vitamin C - I'm waiting for some food delivery.
6:36PM Isaac Mizrahi has NOT grabbed Dolly Parton's boob during the E! Pre-Show. And Keira Knightley has arrived and she looks amazing - and she's rocking the pony tail, as hinted in today's NY Times Styles article.
6:37PM George Clooney is dealing with Isaac's pattering. God bless you, George.
6:39PM Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger arrive (Brooklyn - REPRESENT!). Michelle's wearing a really bright orange-yelllow dress with a big ruffle around the V-neck; we can't tell if we're more distracted by the color or ruffle.
6:50PM Interview with Good Night, and Good Luck co-writer (and co-star) and producer, Grant Heslov, but the bigger picture is on Will Smith and Jada Pinkett.
6:55PM Steve Carell! Nancy Walls! Surely, this means a bit with John Stewart tonight. (Fashion note: Steve is wearing a neutral-toned tie, not a bow-tie.)
7:00PM Jessica Alba's hair is so old lady.
7:09PM Ang Lee is fielding the dumbest question from Isaac. While Gothamist knew this was bound to happen, this is awful awful awful - he's such a smart man.
7:09PM Naomi Watts on the ABC pre-show. She's wearing this nude colored tulle-layered-deconstructed dress from Givenchy. We can't decide whether or not we like it.
KW: Is Sandra Bullock at the Oscars with Keanu Reeves? Are they a couple? He's brushing off her dress. This seems personal.
JC: Well, Speed is a very important movie to both of them
JC: Oh, wait, they are in Il Mare together I think
JC: Upcoming release presenting couple!
KW: They recall that bus with fondness.
KW: I would believe that one more than the TomKat.
7:12PM Chris Connelly interviews Heath and Michelle some really good questions about their roles in Brokeback Mountain, and they parry back praising each other as they seem to bask in the glow of their love and parenthood.
7:18PM
JC: Jessica Alba is really boring
KW: Hoorah, I just got a glimpse of one of my favorite celeb couples, William H. Macy and Felicity Huffman. They are adorable.
JC: I'm just relieved William H. Macy isn't up for playing a disabled or impoverished character or something - that gets tired.
JC: Keanu looks a little bloated!!
JC: This makes me sad.
KW: Maybe for his newest role he has to look chubby.
JC: Chain Reaction 2?
KW: I don't mean to spread rumors but nothing says love like a few extra pounds from shared desserts and too many glasses of wine.
KW: Oooh, look it's Ziyi Zhang. I have such a girl crush on her. She's so beautiful and sweet.
JC: I hate Billy Bush.
JC: Have you seen Reese Witherspoon's dress?
JC: Is it another Kirsten Dunst cast-off?
KW: Bold hair move from Nicole Kidman. Down and straight.
KW: Yeah, she's really Botoxed within an inch of her life.
KW: I think she's really worried about the encroaching years. It's sad because she's very beautiful.
JC: Jennifer Aniston seems nervous! There's no Vince to hide behind.
7:41PM Felicity Huffman is wearing a gorgeous gorgeous Zac Posen dress. Gorge gorge gorge. But then there's a weird pair of video "Good luck/we love you" type of clips from the other Desperate Housewives. Teri Hatcher and Nicolette Sheridan were in one, Marcia Cross and Eva Longoria in the other - which means Marcia and Teri must really hate each other.
7:44PM Billy Bush asks David Straithairn if he thinks he's a movie star. We really hate Billy Bush - and David Straithairn rules.
7:51PM No more pre-show! No!!
KWc: I feel a little like US Weekly saying this, but Rachel Weisz is looking pretty pregnant even in that slimming black dress.
KW: Jaime Foxx: really real. Really really.
JC: Is he presenting? Because I might have to leave the room. He lost me at the call-and-response from the Golden Globes last year.
KW: "Ooh! Ooh! Hey! Hey!" (insert vomit noises)
7:57PM Ha - technical glitches with Billy Bush in the Kodak Theater! More of that crappiness, please!
KW: Go home Billy Bush!
KW: Of course they'll find their seats! What a tool.
8:00PM The telecast starts with some CGI crap of an approach through a melange of various world cities/movie scenes. It's so terrible. Oh, and by the way, your Oscar broadcast is brought to you by a bunch of advertisers - we don't remember this from years past.
8:02PM Two minutes in and we've got our first Brokeback joke. But it's a montage sequence with Billy Crystal and Chris Rock - saying they are too busy to host the Oscars. Then it goes to Steve Martin. Then Whoopi Goldberg. Then David Letterman. Then Mel Gibson on the set of his weird movie. Ah, now it's Jon Stewart dreaming that he's being asked to host the Oscars, in bed with Halle Berry.
KW: 3 minutes in, a Mel Gibson is weird joke! Sweet.
Now the joke is that Jon Stewart has woken up...with George Clooney in his bed. And here's the opening and the Jon Stewart era.
KW: And here's Jonny! Lookin' good in the modern long tie.
JC: "Ladies...gentlemen...Felicity" That's cold.
KW: Har har. Not.
JC: Was someone checking their blackberry?
KW: 6 minutes in, first Death to Smoochy joke!
JC: 6.6 minutes in: Angelina Jolie joke.
JC: 7 minutes in: Democratic party joke.
KW: Jon's hitting all the old stand bys.
JC: Is the audience's tepid applause due to their nervousness that he'll go to political?
JC: Okay, boob joke, that brings the crowd's spirits up.
KW: I don't know if Hollywood's A list is really Jon's usual demographic.
KW: Classic George reaction look. Awesome.
JC: OH NO!!!
JC: KEIRA IS SEATED NEXT TO JACK NICHOLSON!!!
JC: I FEAR FOR HER SAFETY AND FRESH BLOOM OF YOUTH.
KW: HE'LL SUCK AWAY HER YOUNGNESS
KW: AND NEVER LET HER EAT WAFFLES AGAIN
JC: 10 minutes in, dick cheney and bjork joke combo - we get to drink the whole bottle now, right?
KW: Which is bigger, Charlize's dress or her hair?
JC: cowboy movie montage to show homoeroticism?
KW: "Mind if I look at your Winchester" is pretty gay
JC: I hope all those gay theory teachers are Tivoing this!
KW: Think about the poor intern/low level producer who had to watch this many westerns for untoward subtext. Oh, the humanity.
8:16PM Okay, there is a good zinger with Jon Stewart saying that the presenters will be announced in order of talent. It's Nicole Kidman to present Best Supporting Actor. Oh, Cate Blanchett isn't around since she's playing Hedda Gabbler at BAM. She announces the nominees in a weird way, starting, "The Oscar goes to a man who got his start as on a TV show as an ER doctor...or ..." If they do this all night, we're throwing the towel in. And it's George Clooney for Syriana! And his first words are, "Well, I guess I'm not winning Best Director."
KW: The Cloon! A big win for the leading man.
JC: they already have music!
KW: that's weird. shut that off
JC: Oh, brother- his potentially cool political statement has turned into kissing the Academy's ass
JC: that's lame
KW: That's just the way the Cloon rolls.
KW: Can he make a statement? Then, he will. He's our new Susan Sarandon.
JC: Yeah - the Playboy Susan Sarandon. But he didn't send a Native American to accept his award!
8:25PM Jon Stewart makes it through his first commercial break and introduces a taped bit with Tom Hanks demonstrating how acceptance speeches have to be short. At the 1:10 mark, the musicians will approach the stage and tranq the Oscar winner with a clarinet. Cute, but low-fi. Ben Stiller comes out in a green body suit to announce the special effects awards. He has this whole bit about green screen.
JC: this is distressing
JC: I don't want to see Ben Stiller's "package" like this
KW: Way tmi
JC: Verdict: Ben Stiller needs Owen Wilson
KW: Seriously
The team behind King Kong wins.
8:30PM Reese Witherspoon presents the Oscar for Best Animated Feature to Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit! Aw, and Nick Park and Steve Box wear oversized bow ties and attach bowties to their Oscars. Best fashion statement since Lizzy Gardiner's American Express dress! Great speech.
8:35PM Dolly Parton comes on to sing her song from Transamerica. (Naomi Watts introduced her and said Dolly was one of her heroes.) Dolly is wearing a fabulous white suit and oozes energy and charm. She even gets the crowd to clap to the song! Everyone loves Dolly.
8:39PM 42 minutes in, a Scientology joke. 43 minutes in, a Baldwin brothers joke - Jon Stewart is on a role. The presenters for Best Short Film...
KW: Here's your Wilson brothers.
JC: And why Ben Stiller had to go at it alone.
Martin McDonagh, the acclaimed Irish playwright, wins for Six Shooter. Here are New Yorker reviews of his plays. And then Owen Wilson introduces some characters from Chicken Little - we guess because that's a Disney movie and the Oscars are on ABC. The Moon and the Son wins.
KW: Shout out to Tisch School of the Arts, aw yeah!
JC: Nice speech.
8:45PM Jennifer Aniston present Best Costume Design to Colleen Atwood for Memoirs of a Geisha.
KW: Jennifer Aniston looks ah-mazing.
KW: She's one classy lookin' broad. Her stylist does a great job.
JC: She does. But I'm an Angelina fan.
KW: Team Angelina.
JC: Definitely - I Brake For Maddox and Zahara.
8:51PM Russell Crowe walks out, pouting that he wasn't nominated for Best Actor in Cinderella Man. He presents a montage of famous people portrayed in the movies. Okay, maybe not necessarily famous, but "real" people.
KW: Russell Crowe, sans iron bracelets.
JC: It's Serious Russell With Curly Hair.
KW: This montage is sort of interesting in that I'm enjoying comparing how much the actors actually look like who they're playing.
JC: That's true - like Denzel and Malcolm X.
KW: Ben Kingsley and Gandhi, pretty good likeness.
KW: Also, Charlize and Aileen Wournous.
8:57PM Steve Carell and Will Farrell walk on - Steve who is powdered, heavy browed and has fake eyelashes and Will who is overly rogued on his cheeks and forehead- for the Makeup awards.
KW: Wow, Steve Carrell looks like Liza Minelli!
JC: Good call - he totally does.
The winner is the crew from The Chronicles of Narnia - Howard Berger says Where the Wlid Things Are was his inspiration to be a makeup artist...but then he talks so much his partner Tami Lane doesn't get to say anything! Then Jon Stewart has a "It must be hard making Russell Crowe look beat up" joke. Then he tries to save himself by wondering if they topple the HUGE Oscar statue, will democracy reign?
9:02PM Aw, a "penguin's best friend" Morgan Freeman comes out and stumbles his opening to present the Best Supporting Actress award.
JC: i hope Catherine keener wins
JC: actually, no, Michelle Williams
KW: I love the Keener. She's so nice. This is such a tough category. Everyone is so great.
JC: Though Rachel probably will
KW: My prediction is Amy Adams.
JC: Okay, I predict Frances McDormand will NOT win.
Rachel Weisz wins for The Constant Gardener - Oscar loves pregnant nominees (Catherine Zeta-Jones won for Chicago while seriously pregnant).
KW: Ha, reference to the Mummy.
JC: Yes, America knows her as the sexy librarian being chased by Arnold Vosloo.
KW: Constant Gardner was a great film. If you haven't see it yet, Gothamist readers, rent it!
JC: Yes, great movie - Fernando Mereilles should have been nominated
9:11PM Lauren Bacall comes onstage to presents a film noir montage. She may have lost the Teleprompter, because her banter comes across stilted. Gothamist hopes there will be a list of all the film noir movies in the montage at Oscar.com because these are some of the greats. We can maybe name a handful: Out of the Past, Laura, Gilda, The Maltese Flacon, The Bad and the Beautiful, Murder My Sweet.
JC: I love film noir.
KW: Me too. Ankle fetishes and smoking cigarettes and women with great wavy hair.
Aha! Hilarious Daily Show-style spoof exposing the unseemly campaigning techniques of the Best Actress nominees. It's like they were negative campaign ads about the candidates from their competition.
KW: Steven Colbert voice over!
JC: or was that rob cordrry?
KW: I'm pretty sure it's Steve.
JC: and I think it's Rob!
JC: "readers, settle it"
KW: Judi Dench put my eye out in a bar fight!
JC: that's great
9:17PM Jon Stewart says Terence Howard will present the Best Documentary short award - but Stewart brings in another "pimp" and "agent" joke. The winner is the short, A Note of Triumph: The Golden Age of Norman Corwin. And co-winner Corinne Marrinan thanks the Academy for seating her next to George Clooney during the nominees lunch. Reaction shot from George: Priceless.
9:20PM Charlize Theron presents Best Documentary.
KW: I'm going to go out on a limb and say Charlize's dress is a don't.
JC: Charlize is over overtanned too!
KW: She's usually so stunning. It's odd.And the winner is...the March of the Penguins!
KW: The audience hearts March of Penguins
KW: -- and so does the Academy.
KW: Hehe, they have stuffed penguins with them!
JC: YEAH!
KW: What if they hadn't won? Would they just hold those penguins in their laps during the whole show?
JC: yeah - and gotten people to talk to them that way
The winners make penguin noises and mention environmental issues.
9:25PM Jennifer Lopez, wearing an olive dress and looking super tanned (and toned), introduces the nominated song from Crash.
KW: Are there burning cars on the stage?
JC: Crap, it's a film with a message about not just L.A. race relations, it's also about PARIS
KW: I like this song, it sounds like Aimee Mann.
KW: It's shades of Magnolia.
JC: But that's my problem with it - it's boring that way, though good, you know?
KW: The slow mo dancers acting out the ensemble cast of Crash is really weird though.
JC: This is kind of insane. Where's my Debbie Allen-choreographed mess?
KW: Yes, it's completely innocuous. I'll forget it in two seconds. Sigh, Debbie Allen.
9:32PM Jon Stewart jokes about the burning being the okay kind of asbestos, only for Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves to follow that. Mmm, the music of Speed, the great action movie of the summer of 1994 ("Pop quiz, hotshot. There's a bomb on a bus. Once the bus goes 50 miles an hour, the bomb is armed. If it drops below 50, it blows up. What do you do? What do you do?"). Award for Art Direction....to Memoirs of a Geisha, which has been winning all of these technical awards.
9:36PM Samuel L. Jackson presents a montage of political statement films - and for some reason, it's over the music of Aaron Copeland's Applachian Spring, which Gothamist thinks more of as the "Beef: It's Good Food" music.
KW: Samuel L. Is there anyone more of the Man?
JC: I still want to see The Man.
KW: Racism = bad. Hollywood is so brave. God bless us, everyone.
9:40PM It's Sid Ganis, Academy president. We assume he can't fire Jon Stewart mid-show for undercutting the feel-goodness with his snark (which has been funny, we admit - but not right for the Oscars). Blah blah Sid Ganis talks about storytelling. C'mon, he does a "state of the art technology may change, but state of the HEART storytelling does not." We cannot believe Oscar winners don't get to give their speechs in order to make room for this.
JC: Please, who wants to listen to this blowhard
JC: This is when everyone should refill on their drinks...figure out what they are wearing tomorrow
KW: "Blah, blah, we hate DVDs, we heart movie theaters, ....zzzzz"
Sid Ganis pats himself and the Academy and Hollywood on the back for filming in Hollywood and FINALLY introduces Salma Hayek, who in turn gives a shout out to Bill Conte and the musician in the pit. Then she presents Itzhak Perelman who plays selections from the nominated scores.
KW: Salma Hayek, total hotness.
JC: amazing amazing amazing
JC: I think the Brokeback music should win - that music sticks in your head for weeks after
KW: yeah, the music was great
KW: I don't know how to quit you Itzak Perelman!
JC: He is fabu
And Brokeback Mountain's composer, Gustavo Santaolalla, does win.
9:55PM In a bid to stir up controversy, Jon Stewart claims that Itzhak Perelman was finger-syncing during his performance. And Jake Gyllenhaal gets his presenter swag by introducing a Chuck Workman montage. Gothamist loves Chuck Workman montages, as we've grown up on them, but this is the first year where we feel like we've seen these most of these clips way too many times (though it's not necessarily the worst thing ever - we do love West Side Story). But we totally agree with Jon Stewart's joke that next, it'll be Oscar's montage of montages. Now it's Jessica Alba, old lady hair and Versace dress that makes her look old too, and Eric Bana, bringing some sizzle to...Sound Mixing. And the Oscar goes to King Kong.
KW: Poor little Jessica Alba, she's not a strong reader.
JC: No tone in her voice.
JC: But she ain't cast for her speaking voice, that's for sure.
KW: Damn straight.
The winners are so geeky, it's cute.
10:02PM Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep come out to present an honorary Oscar to Robert Altman. (Panning camera shot of Jack Nicholson and wee young thing next to him - we think it's his daughter.)
JC: Okay, I get it - Altmanesque banter
JC: But I still smell Bruce Vilanch all over it!
KW: Is that what that smell is? I wondered.
KW: Meryl looks hot.
JC: Really hot. What's your favorite Altman movie?
KW: Hmm, tough call.
JC: I have a lot
KW: I love McCabe & Mrs. Miller...M.A.S.H
JC: YES! I also love The Long Goodbye and Gosford Park. And The Player, because I love movies about making movies.
KW: Me too.
KW: Dr. T and the Women is one of the most dreadful movies of all time. Hopefully they won't clip that.
JC: It is terrible, but i have to admit that i'll watch it when it's on cable - it's like a good rental
JC: i think i just like richard gere more than i want to admit
KW: But Tara Reid!
KW: She's a train wreck.
JC: I know - and I usualy hate her - but in that, she was good, all crazy and paranoid
JC: BTW, this depresses me.
JC: He should have won ages ago. And this is the booby prize.
KW: I know!
KW: That's what seems to happen with these honorary Oscars. It's such a backhanded compliment.
Robert Altman gives a lovely speech - he talks about how he did think these awards were a sign that it's over, how his doctor takes care of him, how he's had a wonderful career and thanks his wife Kathryn - and tells the Academy they may be giving him the award too early, as he received a heart transplant from a woman in her 30s ("I have still have 40 years on this one!").
10:17PM Ludacris introduces the song from Hustle and Flow - It's Hard Out Here For a Pimp. The lyrics have been totally rehauled, from this to "witches jumping ship."
JC: There are strobe lights - there are old people out there!
KW: Dancers pretending to be hos!
KW: And beating each other up!
KW: I want them to do a cut away to Jack Nicholson to see if he's nodding along.
JC: I'd like to see if Nicole Kidman's forehead can look confused.
JC: A William H. Macy cutaway would be good too
KW: Just for sheer randomness sake?
JC: yeah
JC: cognitive dissonance and all
KW: whoa, that was a long held note
Queen Latifah presents the award...And, no way, It's Hard Out Here for Being a Pimp wins. Whoa, the camera work is totally weird - there must be something the Three 6 Mafia's shirts the producers can't allow on air. Jon Stewart is loving this: "You know what? I think it just got a little easier out here for being a pimp." And there's a joke about the Three 6 Mafia getting into a tiff with Itzhak Perelman's posse ("Dreidel-off.") And Jon asks the best question: "How are they the most excited people here?"
10:28PM Jennifer Garner - and her pregnancy boobs come out and almost wipe out as she stumbles on her gown (which we rate an "eh"). Then she hands the Sound Mixing Oscar to the team from King Kong. And one of the winners is adorably nervous.
10:30PM "Oscar Winner" George Clooney introuces the In Memoriam clip. Biggest applause: Pat Morita, Sandra Dee, Babara Bel Geddes, Chris Penn, Brock Peters, Ernest Lehman, Shelley Winters, Anne Bancroft (some cheering), Richard Pryor. Not Don Knotts or Darrin McGavin in the montage - maybe next year.
KW: Is it callous that I think "bathroom break" during the In Memorium section?
JC: Ha - I like listening to who gets the most applause
KW: It's such a popularity contest. A popularity contest for the dead.
KW: This is also the moment in the telecast where I realize how tired I am.
KW: Tear, Anne Bancroft.
JC: yeah
JC: I think they should eliminate all clapping - like no clapping at all during this
KW: it would be tough to enforce.
JC: I know - Hollywood assholes.
10:36PM Will Smith shows that he can say a few words in different languages...which means he's going to present Best Foreign Film. Sigh. But the winner is Tsotsi.
KW: The good thing about living in New York is how many of these Foreign Language nominees come to town. Tsotsi is playing now, I think.
JC: Definitely - and this is a passionate speech from someone who seems to really care.
10:40PM Jon Stewart says: "Martin Scorsese - no Oscars. Three 6 Mafia - one Oscar." Hmm, we don't know who that is a diss to. Anyway, Ziyi Zhang comes out to present Film Editing...and Crash wins.
10:45PM Hillary Swank - all skinny - presents the Best Actor nominees. And Joaquin Phoenix mouths "I love you, River" (we think, per Margaret Lyons). And the winner is Philip Seymour Hoffman for Capote. PSH waxes about his love for everyone and he singles out his mom who raised four kids on her own.
KW: Aw, single Mom love.
JC: Well, I hope his mom is wearing a "I'm Philip's mommy" shirt.
PSH does not bark like a dog, as hoped by Oscar-watches. (Apparently a high school bet with a friend, but let's face it, if we had to keep all high school bets, we'd be in serious doo doo.)
10:54PM Let's get this show moving! John Travolta presents the cinematography award to...Memoirs of a Geisha. Wow, big surprise - Gothamist thought it would be Brokeback Mountain. Okay, now it's Jamie Foxx presenting Best Actress, and Jamie, we thank you for keeping it brief. And the winner is...
JC: okay, felicity or reese?
KW: I think Reese.
JC: Yeah, me too. She's grown up in front of Hollywood's eyes
JC: The Man in the Moon was a big sleepover rental during middle school
KW: I love love love that movie.
And Reese Witherspoon wins for Walk the Line. She's very flustered, but in her Southern ladylike way.
KW: She played Mama Mabel Carter in the 4th grade play, awesome.
JC: She's very cute
KW: Beyond adorable.
KW: And eloquent.
JC: yeah, just think what she would have done if she graduated from Stanford!Reese thanks everyone associated with the film, her family, and notes the spirit of June Carter and her grandmother - great speech.
11:08PM Dustin Hoffman...Writing Award...
KW: Dear god, they've still got the writing awards and best picture.
JC: Director!!!
JC: i think this has been dragging
KW: Ahh, four more! Talk faster Dustin Hoffman
Winners are Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossama for their adapted screenplay of Brokeback Mountain. Larry McMurtry ends his speech by asking people not to forget that Brokeback Mountain was a book first and that the culture of books is important.
KW: Larry McMurtry loves books. He's like the grandpa you'd love to have.
JC: I'm reading Lonesome Dove right now!
Uma Thurman, who looks odd - really smokey eyes, hair's a little bit brassy, pale dress - presents the Original Screenplay Oscar...and it goes to Crash's Paul Haggis and Bobby Moresco. Haggis goes on and on - all nervous - so much so that Moresco doesn't get to speak.
11:15PM Okay, we take it back - maybe the show is slightly better paced - and we figure out why. There are no introductions from various actors - the show flows from fadeout at the Kodak to clips of the Best Picture nominees. What's weird is that the Oscars put this weird disembodied hands (think two Things!) clapping, sorta like Sarcastic Clapping Family (the Oscar poster uses clapping hands). Whatever - we're thankful for slightly less time on this mess.
11:17PM Jon Stewart snarks on Larry McMurtry's decision to wear jeans. Boo on you, Jon - that was too easy. Okay, now it's Oscar royalty Tom Hanks to present the Best Director Oscar... to ANG LEE! Hoorah!
KW: Hooray!
JC: And it's not just because I'm Asian!
JC: Taiwanese director represent!
JC: But, no, Ang, that joke was terrible
JC: terrible
KW: Okay, favorite Ang Lee movie?
JC: Eat Drink Man Woman. I also love Sense and Sensbility and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
KW: Classics.
JC: Yeah - what about you?
KW: I love those, but also Ice Storm and The Wedding Banquet are awesome.
11:22PM Jack Nicholson saunters up and annoucnces the Best Picture nominees....and the winner is a big upset, Crash. Shouting and cheers, Hollywood likes to be liberal about race (and class) versus sexuality.
KW: Holy crud. Crash.
JC: SUCH A SHITTY MOVIE [Okay, not shitty - just not the best movie in the lot - we'd rank Capote, Brokeback and Good Night, and Good Luck over it]
KW: That was so not the best movie of the year.
KW: I'm so surprised how much late in the game momentum this movie got.
KW: Did it even do well at the box office at all?
JC: Yeah, it picked up a little steam
KW: Wow, they really cut [the producer[ off too. Callous
Yes, the orchestra really did cut off one of the producers of Crash, in order for Jon Stewart to end the show by 11:28PM. But Gothamist was still amazed by the win.
JC: It's about self-congratulation - Hollywood style
JC: Los Angelenos like to think they can cross racial barriers
KW: We support movies that are about Truth and Love and Honesty. We're so noble it hurts.
JC: Is this year's telecast better or worst than last year's?
JC: I mean, I like that Ang Lee and Wallace and Gromit won...but...
KW: I enjoyed Jon Stewart
KW: But it was mostly business as usual in terms of the general show.
KW: I was happy about Phillip Seymour Hoffman even though I didn't predict him.
JC: I don't know if I prefer Jon Stewart to Chris Rock.
KW: Chris Rock is also great.
KW: He's mean where Jon is snarky.
KW: But both are amusing.
KW: Poor Jon Stewart, he has to go talk to Jimmy Kimmel now? Tough gig.
JC: Who at ABC does Jimmy Kimmel have pictures of?
JC: Maybe ones of Sara Silverman that he shares?
KW: Sex tapes. He must have incriminating sex tapes.
Other fun things from tonight: Reese Witherspoon's win, Three6 Mafia's performance and win, just seeing Robert Altman, Larry McMurtry's speech, and seeing stuffed animals make their way to Oscar's centerstage. Gothamist will sleep on it and think of a few other things to chat about tomorrow, but till then, good night (and good luck). Thanks for reading!
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so far so good. clooney and wallace and gromit. didn't see king kong.
if they don't stop with that music during the speeches, i'm going to scream.
8:45 Chicken Little looks awesome! ha
the wilsons reminiscing about bottle rocket reminds me, why don't they make some more movies together? and what happened to that movie luke recently directed or wrote?
Naomi Watts looks like she is wearing an abortion.
Ron Sadoff, a great professor at NYU, composed the music for the Moon and the Son. Hooray for Ron!!!
Little known fact:
David Straithairn is a graduate of Ringling Bros and Barnum & Bailey Clown College back in the 70's
it looks like naomi watt's colostomy bag exploded
THE TRUTH is Jon Stewart is lame! SELLOUT!!!! Jokes are sinking like the Titanic. When Jennifer Aniston went up to the podium you know she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs "FUCK YOU BRAD AND YOUR STUPID HO BITCH!" and Rachel Mcadams is a robot.
Rachel McAdams just said:
"It was a great night in Beverly Hills..."
Oh thank goodness, happiness has FINALLY descended onto the dour streets of Beverly Hills. Long nights spent waiting for take-out sushi and blowcaine delivery have finally paid off for the struggling, fame-deprived Beverly Hill-ites.
PS: I want to like Jon Stewart, but he's really treading water. Especially when the non-ironic hillarity (see McAdams quote above) is flowing like a river.
PPS: Yes! Rachel Weisz!!!! USA! USA! USA!
I can't wait for Flava of Love finale so i can turn this glad handing bore off.
At first it was excruciating and embarassing to watch but now I'm laughing my ass off at Lauren Bacall unable to read the teleprompter! OLD PEOPLE WITH VISION PROBLEMS ARE MOTHERFUCKING HILARIOUS!!!!
I'd choose Jon Stewart over Robin Williams anyday.
So far hes doing a good job.
i think the room's too big for jon stewart. it takes five minutes for the laughs to register. he's not pulling any punches, though.
Whoa Dolly Parton has huge tits
I think Jon is doing a great job. I haven't laughed at any of the past hosts like I have for jon.
more importantly, what is that piece of fabric on your shoulder, charlize?
Charlize Theron has a parrot on her shoulder.
J LO....can the spray tan!!!!
J Lo looks like a roasted peanut. Overtan
T minus 33 minutes until the flava of love finale.
j lo is pretty.
burning cars as props? that is sick. it might be funny if it goes out of control.
Miss Chung. Keanu looks bloated? He's looking a bit anorexic to me...
the best actress spoof ads are hilarious, too bad JOn STeWARts commentary sucks balls! and CHARLIZE is more than stunning, it took all my willpower to not spew all over the television. her dress does suck though
true he looks pretty bad... how can he be bloated and anorexic at the same time?
Samuel L. Jackson - "OF COURSE THEY DESERVED TO DIE! AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!"
FINALLY!!! Jon Stewart finally said something funny after the civil rights montage.
SALMA! please live in my house.
She is quite stunning. Hoooot
fapfapfap
salma as ever beautiful. i like the dress but for the boob bisecting bit.
brokeback is going to win. i guess i'm not going out on a limb here.
Yay, Brokeback wins its first award. Hope there's more to come.
"state of the art technology may change, but state of the HEART technology does not." - does it sadden you guys like it does me that the speechwriter probably makes 7 figures a year?
I am going for "Good Night and Good Luck" It's Clooney's night.
What just happened with Gyllenhall and the laughs? I totally missed it.
It was so funny they forgot to laugh.
Uhh, No. It's Brokeback or Crash. No Question about it.
Jessica is indeed fapworthy tonight.
Oh Dear
amen to jon stewart's montage joke. enough already!
lots of gold and flesh colored outfits tonight. i.e. jessica alba's golden ribbon dress.
Jessica Alba is gorgeous but she needs to eat at in and out burger. Don't become Nicole Richie. COME BACK TO THE LIGHT.
lol she’s not that thin Jesus. Perhaps the dress has a girdle like effect.
Lily Thomlin and Meryl Streep. Jon Stewart you should take notes.
this is embarrassing... is meryl streep doing a teri garr impersonation?
I never thought MASH was funny. I'm sorry, but I found the entire show horribly bland.
it's time to watch the player again. and i'm excited for prairie home companion. altman is still sharp!
Robert Altman directed POPEYE? Awesome!
Rap at the Academy Awards...
It just doesnt seem to fit with all these bluebloods and A list Actors.
Kojak you ignorant slut. Robert Altman had nothing to do with M*A*S*H the TV series. He directed the movie.
And Jessica Alba looks like she's on the Lindsay Lohan diet. Uggh. WTF is with these cool starlets with cool normal bodies who decide to go sick and anorexic? I know it's not a new issue, but it just seems a bit more intense nowadays.
Queen Latifah is looking unusually fat tonight in that dress.
hustle and flow is worth seeing for terence howard's great performance. and i love queen latifah. she has style by the mile.
to the idoit that never liked MASH the TV show...
it had NOTHING to do with robert altman he directed the moive. it's great. rent it. smoke pot and rent it.
The movie probably sucked ass as well Jack. Customary to follow the theme of the show it originated from.
Oh you can such my ass, both of you. I said i never liked Mash! Thats it. Deal with it
Re: The voiceovers on the fake negative ads - 99% sure it's Stephen Colbert.
suck*
that humongous marquee above the stage makes for some awkward moments, like when it said "it's hard out here for a pimp". ten feet tall.
and that's stephen colbert, for sure.
Great baby milk boobs on Jennifer Garner!
whoa. is jen garner breast feeding?
AWWWW Jennifer Garner almost fell
She probably gives Skim Milk
"The movie probably sucked ass as well Jack. Customary to follow the theme of the show it originated from."
Yes, it sucked so hard that Robert Altman has no career in Hollywood and has never been honored by his peers for his horrid work.
Go waddle your mouse over to Netflix and rent it out instead of grousing like an 'insider' when you can't even get the basic facts straight. I mean, did you even watch the Oscar clips where they showed scenes from the movie and Alan Alda was not there? Mayhaps that might be a clue?
I saw a scene from MASH on the awards. It reminded me of the show. Then I said I never liked MASH. That’s it.
You don’t need to shit your depends and go on a bender.
in memoriam missed barney fife
Kojak, the only one who seems bent out of shape seems to be you. If you can't even figure out that an awards show about FILM is talking about FILM and not TV SHOWS, then you really have no leg to stand on.
Now clear out all of those Andy Sidaris films out of your Netflix queue and see the original film of MASH and then talk. You might be shocked to realize how wrong you are.
Plz Jack, Sand in the vagina causes more irritation then its worth. For all of us, please douche.
Fine i'll watch it. Show shaddup and watch the damn show already
Now*
kojak you are an idiot.
ooh i'm glad i haven't seen capote. it looks awful.
"Plz Jack, Sand in the vagina causes more irritation then its worth. For all of us, please douche."
Thanks Kojak! Somehow I'm called a 'troll' for posting something every 3-4 months here, but what are you then?
Who at 'Willkie Farr & Gallagher' handles pseudononymous comment flame slander cases?
How come Hoffman did not bark?
Hoffman doesnt deserve the award. There I said it.
maybe kojak isn't an idiot. heath ledger or david strath desereved it.
It's been said before, but I'll say it again: Kojak you're an idiot.
Stanley Kubrick has no directing Oscar and yet 36 Mafia does for "hard to be a pimp". WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
john travolta looks like a moncheechee (sp?)
We're all idiots for blogging while watching the oscars.
Wha? Hoffman didn't deserve it? Wha? Did you see Capote? It's one thing to have a favorite; another to be so biggotted against all other actors you can't see straight. Ledger and Phoenix were worthy opponents, but everyone knows it would go to Phil. Phuck you.
Why doesn’t ‘Hard out Here for a Pimp deserve’ an Oscar? I'm quite sure though they let it win though to cash in on a bigger audience.
I wouldnt flat out give Kubrick an award for being Kubrick. Your right though...he deserved it in the past.
Philip Seymour Hoffman deserved it for many reasons. Most importantly, it's hard to see anyone else play that role. And also, he's an incredible actor and this is an incredible breakthrough role. I doubt he'd have a chance at such a high accolade ever again. He's a great actor, but not very 'mainstream'. His Oscar is very much deserved and awesome. He deserves it.
I'm not saying he didn’t deserve it, I just think Heath Ledger had a better performance.
Kojak said:
"I'm not saying he didn’t deserve it..."
But he previously said:
"Hoffman doesnt deserve the award."
Exactly.
You kids are so cute when you fight.
Actually, it makes me cry. Please stop.
Alfred Hitchcock never won a director Oscar either, and the memorial awards don't count anyway. ALfred Hitchock never won a director Oscar and some marketed to youths shit like "hard to be a pimp" wins. Next year it's gonna be "bling Bling wigga".
My last post was a clarification of a previous post.
Happy?
agreed. you two should take it outside. good night and good luck.
Enough of this Academy Awards shit.
I'm going to watch Boondocks on Cartoon Network.
hahah. that screenwriter just mentioned the GOLDEN GLOBES. That's like winning the Mcdonald's all american and saying you are going to eat at Burger King.
my penis is big!
ang lee. how do people understand this guy? his english is bad. If the guy gave me direction I'd be like "what did you just say?". Accent aside the dude is a great director.
guess people like black people better than gay guys. Hahaaaaahha blacks will always be the Majority MINORITy. screw gay people in their dirty asses.
This proves again that Hollywood is full of retards. Crash was a bad film, not even deserving of a nomination.
Now whos the Idiot Jean...
this shit is rigged. They gave it to Crash to fuckup everyone's bets. It's like how Las Vegas doesn't cover the spread. I had everyone right until Crash fucked up my Oscar pool ballot.
Crash is a great film. History has shown that the Academy doesn’t pick the popular favorites, but what they think is the best.
But I think Brokeback was more deserving. All in all there was too much hype over the film.
good night and good luck
Crash is great for people who don't read novels.
'Crash' was middling poor-man's 'Magnolia'. Ensemble pieces in which actors act and improv together are always admired. Hence Robert Altman being so praised, although he's made some solid stinkers mixed in with his great films.
'Crash' was also implausible if you ever visited Los Angeles ever. I can walk the streets of NYC and maybe after a while I see someone from the neighborhood regularly. In 'Crash' we all have to somehow buy the ridiculous premise that in LOS ANGELES all of these characters intertwine.
At least 'Magnolia' had better ways of explaining the hapenstance. Paul Thomas Anderson can kick Paul Haggis down any day.
Now, back to Cinemax. Yeow, "The Breatesses of Witchwick"!
Jesus Christ needs to die.
I just thought about the Sarcastic Clapping Family the other day for the first time in years... thanks for bringing it up again.
Crash just followed the formula Steven Soderbergh perfected with TRAFFIC. Give a preachy issue movie some dramatic flair drenched in half truths and it's oscar gold
He did, for your sins.
Crash is gay. Gay in the Jersey sense. Werner Herzog was snubbed. Hollywood can go to hell.
Salma Hayek shouldve won the Oscar for 'best tits'
kojak, what did you think of that woman in the Crash camp wearing orange and nearly popping out of her dress?
Do you mean Deborah Rennard?
Her dress was one size too large for the woman. She should’ve tightened it up a bit.
But I bet she gives good milk too.
I only saw her on the carpet though. How did she look inside?
this is a bigger upset than when Shakespeare in love beat Saving Private Ryan. This will always be remembered as the day Brokeback lost more than Crash won.
I'd like to express my outrage at Crash winning, but I really couldn't give a damn.
At least, Matt Dillion didn't win.
Not that I saw the movie or the award show.
She was jumping up and down. It was the best 3 seconds of the show.
Actually, it wasn't.
Bored and procrastinating. I hate lazy sundays.
Good lord. And I missed it...
Not to worry. It'll be on google video soon enough...
I agree. Werner Herzog was snubbed - Grizzly Man should have - at the very least been nominated. And Crash just wasn't deserving of the award. WHAT'S UP WITH THE ACADEMY?
Crash was CRASH-P! I cannot believe it won Best Picture. White Guilt, thy name is CRASH. Capote was a better film. So was Brokeback Mountain. Hell, so was Pride & Prejudice. Crash sucks. If I wanted to be preached to I'll go to church. And none of us go to church.
I liked what you call Jon Stewart's "snark". I saw it as much-needed sharpness from a host with backbone.
He wasn't dissing the Three 6 Mafia when he made that comparison, simply addressing the absurdity of the fact that they are now "Academy Award-winners, the Three 6 Mafia" while one of the greatest film directors who ever lived can't claim that distinction. (You know -- irony.)
By the way, I tried my hand at live-blogging the Oscars. Can't vouch for the result, but it can be found at www.andrewjlederer.com/ajlblogtest.html.
There is only one way to interpret tonight's Oscar results. The Academy CHICKENED OUT. They gave Ang Lee Best Director for directing the best material (Best Adapted Screenplay) but what did he direct? His actors were not given Best Actor or Best Supporting Actor and his picture was not given Best Picture. What this means is that Crash was awarded Best Picture Not About Gay Cowboys, because Hollywood couldn't stand the headlines from the fundamentalists and the conservative politicians that would have been up in arms about it in tomorrow's paper.
I would say the Oscars usually gets the nominations for Best Picture correct but they frequently give the award to the wrong movie. Crash winning over Brokeback Mountain leaves a very bad taste in my mouth. The same reason why I never watch the Grammy's.
i am amused that the three-6 mafia won an academy award, especially since it was not long ago that halle won for getting schtupped by a hick and denzel won for playing a crooked cop. hm. check the r-squared on that regression and tell me what you find?
i wish i could care about which movie won best picture but the fact is that the hollywood machine keeps churning out so much garbage that i really think our film expectations have been lowered to the point where decent means great. besides, it's interesting that crash was not a book adaptation, but rather, an original screenplay shot outside of the hollywood system. yes, elements of it were a bit unbelievable but so is the premise of a gay cowboy movie, prima facie.
in the age of quarterly profit-driven media companies, is the academy even relevant anymore?
p.s., Jen Chung, Crash did pretty well in the box office - $55M in ticket sales on a $6.5M investment. Not a blockbuster with options for games, soundtrack sales, sequels, and a tv series, but not horrible either.
Breaking No Ground
Why 'Crash' Won, Why 'Brokeback' Lost and How the Academy Chose to Play it Safe.
By Kenneth Turan, LA Times Staff Writer
March 5, 2006
Sometimes you win by losing, and nothing has proved what a powerful, taboo-breaking, necessary film "Brokeback Mountain" was more than its loss Sunday night to "Crash" in the Oscar best picture category.
Despite all the magazine covers it graced, despite all the red-state theaters it made good money in, despite (or maybe because of) all the jokes late-night talk show hosts made about it, you could not take the pulse of the industry without realizing that this film made a number of people distinctly uncomfortable.
More than any other of the nominated films, "Brokeback Mountain" was the one people told me they really didn't feel like seeing, didn't really get, didn't understand the fuss over. Did I really like it, they wanted to know. Yes, I really did.
In the privacy of the voting booth, as many political candidates who've led in polls only to lose elections have found out, people are free to act out the unspoken fears and unconscious prejudices that they would never breathe to another soul, or, likely, acknowledge to themselves. And at least this year, that acting out doomed "Brokeback Mountain."
I do not for one minute question the sincerity and integrity of the people who made "Crash," and I do not question their commitment to wanting a more equal society. But I do question the film they've made. It may be true, as producer Cathy Schulman said in accepting the Oscar for best picture, that this was "one of the most breathtaking and stunning maverick years in American history," but "Crash" is not an example of that.
I don't care how much trouble "Crash" had getting financing or getting people on board, the reality of this film, the reason it won the best picture Oscar, is that it is, at its core, a standard Hollywood movie, as manipulative and unrealistic as the day is long. And something more.
For "Crash's" biggest asset is its ability to give people a carload of those standard Hollywood satisfactions but make them think they are seeing something groundbreaking and daring. It is, in some ways, a feel-good film about racism, a film you could see and feel like a better person, a film that could make you believe that you had done your moral duty and examined your soul when in fact you were just getting your buttons pushed and your preconceptions reconfirmed.
So for people who were discomfited by "Brokeback Mountain" but wanted to be able to look themselves in the mirror and feel like they were good, productive liberals, "Crash" provided the perfect safe harbor. They could vote for it in good conscience, vote for it and feel they had made a progressive move, vote for it and not feel that there was any stain on their liberal credentials for shunning what "Brokeback" had to offer. And that's exactly what they did.
Hollywood, of course, is under no obligation to be a progressive force in the world. It is in the business of entertainment, in the business of making the most dollars it can. Yes, on Oscar night, it likes to pat itself on the back for the good it does in the world, but as Sunday night's ceremony proved, it is easier to congratulate yourself for a job well done in the past than actually do that job in the present.
Yes, that was Stephen Colbert doing the voiceover. Or so my fellow fangirls say (I didn't see that part of the show).
Once again, I'm not sad that I missed most of the Oscars. I'm just glad I saw Phillip Seymour win. Adorable.
Need to correct this statement from the Oscars liveblog: "Samuel L. Jackson presents a montage of political statement films - and for some reason, it's over the music of Aaron Copeland's Applachian Spring, which Gothamist thinks more of as the "Beef: It's Good Food" music."
Sorry. The music used last night was primarily from the ballet "Billy the Kid," with a little of "Rodeo" thrown in about halfway through (the latter is what was used in those beef commercials). No "Appalachian Spring" last night, or during the plugs for cow carnage.
You did get the composer right, though.
The beef commercial is Copeland's "Rodeo", not "Appalachian Spring". Just thought you'd like to know...
I think Clooney should be shot for his acceptance speech. Wow, actors and actresses are so pretty and rich, and 1000 times more enlightened than the public who go see their films and make them famous.
And it wasn't just Clooney, last night's ceremony was overwraught with references to how important and provocative movies are. Gag me.
Wow, sounds like I'm one of the only people who thinks "Crash" was a better movie than "Brokeback". The only movie that would have displaced "Crash" for best picture was "Constant Gardener", which the academy didn't even nominate.
By far, the most ridiculous error of the night was that an utterly frivolous movie like "March of the Penguins" won best documentary. It should have gone to "Enron" or "Street Fight". That "Penguins" won is a pathetic joke!
JJ - agreed. I feel that Hollywood used to be a hell of a lot more transgressive than it is now. These people are so goddamned sanctimonious sometimes.
Stewart never showed up on Kimmel....*yawns*. I stayed up late for nothing!
I am SO depressed that Crash won. Though perhaps hating Crash so much is a New York thing - we have lots of direct experience rubbing elbows with people who are not like ourselves, and we know that it just doesn't go down like that. NY-style everyday racial tension is the subtle, coded, half-ironic diss - when it surfaces at all. I bet Spike Lee is super-pissed.
I hate the Oscars.
Maybe one reason they voted for Crash is that the type of intolerance depicted there touched them in a way that is perhaps more pervasive than the depiction they saw in Brokeback Mountain.
I don't know. Then again, the outcry over the lack of an Academy Award seems just a bit overblown to me, given all the other things we can be upset about today...