Doctors at NY Presbyterian/Columbia Hospital finally revealed the true nature of Governor Pataki's health: He's ailing. Not deathbed ailing, but peritonitis, abdominal abscess and fever king of ailing and the NY Times says that Pataki's surgeons only "used the word 'peritonitis' — the name of a potentially fatal inflammation of the abdominal lining — only after being pressed repeatedly by reporters." In other TMI news, doctors "said that his bowel function was impaired but improving"... that his bowel is still in tact... and his bowel "was still not discharging waste properly." Fine - Gothamist admits we were curious about it, but we know we'll rot in hell for another day for it. Pataki's chief of staff John Cahill says he's been doing well, checking on his work via Blackberry, assuring New Yorkers that while he may not be using a toilet, but he can still poop on plans for NYC.

Some doctors (not treating the guv'nuh) say he could be at the hospital for up to three more weeks, as he still needs be to on antibiotics and IV fluids. With all the infections the governor experienced, is that an implication that the Westchester Hospital that treated him did a bad job? And in lieu of diagrams that show how fecal matter can seep from a ruptured appendix (those diagrams are here), we give you this photograph of Norm McDonald doing a bit about Pataki back in 1994.