Worst! Politician! Comb-over! Ever!

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There are a lot of reasons why George Pataki will never be president-- his stunning dullness, for instance, or his suspiciously Greek-sounding last name (until Guiliani is elected president, we're going to assume any name ending in a vowel lowers your appeal in the South by 50%). But let's get real here: the number one reason that he'll never get elected is his hair. When we were watching his state-of-the-state address on Wednesday we couldn't take our eyes off it. The shaggy sides, the unbelievably far-reaching horizontal combover. Think about it-- when was the last time someone this bald was elected president? Nixon? Johnson? Who knows -- all the recent presidents have had luxuriously thick locks -- and that's one thing Pataki definitely does not have. So we're calling his presidential campaign right now: DOA.

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Comments (15) [rss]

He's of Hungarian extraction.

On the Democratic side, check Schumer and Biden's hair club for men jobs...

www.forgotten-ny.com, who is getting a little thin in the back.

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wow, that's really, really bad.

best news analysis ever!

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i actually spent 30 minutes trying to find a good overhead shot of pataki-- but apparently he's pretty good at avoiding being photographed from that angle. does anyone know of a better picture than the one above?

and re: hungarian extraction-- i was just talking about the name-- i'm guessing to people outside new york, anything ending it -aki sounds greek.

There'll never be another Presidential head like Chester Arthur's.


"Dignified, tall, and handsome, with clean-shaven chin and side-whiskers, Chester A. Arthur "looked like a President.""

I think america is ready for a stumpy bald man like guiliani, but not a pataki combover. Ever since JFK, the full headed crescent roll haircut has been the most effective. The JFK haircut is now even more idiotic looking than the combover, despite what george stephanopolis thinks. People are sick of the blow dried candidate and want a gothic looking troll like guiliani. Before the rise of television it was perfectly acceptable to go with a full bald look. Ike worked a fetus look to victory (working the baby "cute" look as examined by gothamist earlier in the week). Pataki will not lose because of his combover or name but simply because he's too much of a generic doofus. Also agree with above that joe biden is delusional if he thinks that working a doll headed transplant will take him to the white house.

Never trust anyone who speaks out of the side of his mouth.

Yes, well that and the fact that he doesn't have ONE SHRED OF CHARISMA.

The "screaming gutless hack" thing's gonna woork against him as well.

I once saw Guilliani walking up 1st avenue. I didn't realize before that just how huge his head actually is. As far as Pataki, his overall suckiness as a politician will doom any national aspirations. He's boring, uncharismatic, uninspired. He's been holding on to that damn campaign for fiscal equity money for years for no apparent reason, and now wants to take back the portion of the subway workers' contract that would give them back money they never should have paid in the first place. This man has an inexplicable problem with people getting the money they deserve. The only reason he's still governor is a lack of competition and post-9/11 sentiment (not that he actually did anything to help anyone, but he was there at the time). Add to that the fact that he is delusional about being a presidential contender, and you've got a whole lot of nothing. He'll quitely fade away, and hopefully, we'll never have to see him again.

I'm with Charles. Let's bring back the president with the huge sideburns! Might get us a little more respect from the mullahs. He (or she) with the longest sideburns wins!

I agree. I'd vote for chester arthur purely on the basis of the big sideburns.

It turns out that the British are also hair-conscious voters, according to this BBC article: Bald truth about attracting voters.

George! Pataki! Will! Never! Be! President! He! Is! Obviously! Aiming! For! The! More! Realistic! Position! Of! Vice! President! It! Is! A! Common! Technique! In! Politics! Many! People! Run! To! Lose! Simply! To! Get! Free! Name! Recognition! To! Better! Their! Chances! In! Later! Races!

(Notice something annoying about the way I wrote my comment?)

A friend works pretty closely with George, and I met him once very briefly. He is an honest, decent guy -- unfortunately, he just isn't very charismatic or animated in the public, political realm. Good guy but boring, or asshat but entertaining -- there aren't a lot of well-balanced politicians in this country. There is a certain spark he's missing to be president, but he could probably do quite a good job in a cabinet post.

And as for the whole combover or baldy thing, it's sad that people make such a big deal about this for anyone. Especially such an important position like president (or any senior elected official). You can't really help thinning/balding if it's in your genetic cards.

You can help being a fatso like Clinton, a lying psychopath like Nixon, a Jebus freak like Carter, or a crook like 20% of our Congress. Crap like that, choices that people deliberately made, people brush off and forgive quickly. Something that can't be helped, like chrome dome, a lisp, or being too short/tall, people tear you a new one and deem you unfit for office.

I don't think the American public can take seriously a president with Elmer as a middle name.

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