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The Daily Heights rings in with the first report of subway masturbation-- the alleged perp is pictured here in all his blurry glory. Bonus points for the shearling jacket!
On Thursday 12/29 at 10:35am, I ran into a subway masturbator on the Q train going over the Manhattan bridge. Believe me, there was no mistaking what he was doing. There were ~8 other people on the train, but all of them were sitting in other "sections" of the car.I decided that I could disarm him by yelling at him, so as we went over the bridge, I said loudly something along the lines of "Excuse ME, but if you think I can't tell that YOU'RE MASTURBATING, you're wrong, and in case you're too dumb to have noticed, I just took two pictures of you with my cameraphone, which I will show to the police. There are usually lots of them at Atlantic Ave." This pretty much stopped him and got the notice of other people on the train. The train stopped between the bridge and DeKalb, and someone tried to go get the conductor, but of course all the doors were locked (thanks MTA!). Now we were trapped with this weirdo, who stood up and went towards the door, farther away from me, muttering some nonsense about how hard it is for a black man in this day and age to get "sucked off" when the world is full of "white and latino bitches."
When the doors opened at DeKalb, he ran off, and I and another woman went off looking for the police. We couldn't find anyone fast enough, but the token booth clerk phoned them and some officers arrived about 5 or 10 minutes later. I gave my description and showed my crappy, blurry photo and everything, but they didn't even take my name so I don't think they were intending to look for him.
With most 2006 cellphone models shipping with VGA cameraphones, this is sure to be the first of many subway masturbators to get his fifteen seconds of fame. Just be careful out there-- it only takes a few seconds for some crazy person to get his hands out of his pants and around your neck! [Related: Gothamist on the vegan masturbator back in September, and HollaBackNYC, for all your harassment needs.]
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Technically, he might be the "last" masturbating MTA-rider of 2005, but he could be the first documented in 2006. I'll have to check the Gothamist Style Guide (TM)!
Some of the 75 foot BMT/IND subway cars have always had their doors locked, as there is an unsafe condition for passing through when going around curves. However, in an emergency, such as evacuating the train, the doors can be opened. This problem isn't seen on the 60 foot BMT/IND cars or the 51 foot IRT cars.
This is the reason I left NYC 13 years ago. People like that pervert are a dime a dozen there. I see things haven't changed!
What the MTA should have done instead of locking the doors and prohibiting movement is specified that new designs must have accordian-pleated tunnels with filler plates above the couplings between cars. If people can't fall and can't get up to surf on the roof, then their justification falls flat. It's too late for the upcoming R160s, though.
The R160s are going to be 60 footers. The last 75 foot cars were the R68/R68As. If you notice when the R44, R46, and R68s go around cruves, the storm door of the car ahead or behind is about 1 to 2 feet out of alignment with the car you are riding in. The 60 foot cars don't have this problem.
what is this city coming to when a guy can't rub one out in public??? jeez, it really is getting lame here.
The dekalb/shearling masturbater uses the same pose as the vegan masturbater right down to the left handed paper view deflecter. Even has the same tense svengali stare thing going. They must be using the same instruction guide.
All good and well, Toby, but given the MTA's new official policy of "no movement between cars," would you care to bet whether those doors will always be locked anyway?
I think that the MTA has to keep them unlocked. The 75 foot equipment has some sort of emergency unlock system, but I don't think the 60 and 50 foot cars have them, as they are all unlocked normally.
uh, Scottsdale Pete, if underground wankers and above ground perviness were so common, would they merit mention in these fine virtual pages?
methinks not.
funny that your disdain for our humble town doesn't stop you from reading a blog dedicated to its adoration.