We Can't Believe It's a Knife in the Butt

Well, the Post has ruined butter knives for us. There is a story about a career criminal hiding a knife in his buttocks. Or at least that's what the authorities think. George Konstantides apparently pulled out a knife to threaten correction officers (with the typical "If you come near me, I'll cut you" spoken threat), but then hid it in his buttocks. The Post says officers used the "BOSS" Body Orifice Scanning System that can "detect metal secreted in a suspect's rectum" but there was "no sign of the weapon." Ew ew ew. And worse (or brilliant), the Post headline: " COPS MAKE BUTT-ER KNIFE CON SPREAD 'EM." But the Homer Simpson in us does sort of crave some warm French bread and Vermont butter.