November 20, 2005
Planning to Escape from New York
Ask MeFi got a fun question yesterday: How would you escape from Manhattan if disaster struck? What sort of 'go bag' would you go with? And so on. The answers are pretty interesting though, and we learned a fair amount including, but not limited to:
- Owning a bike is probably a good idea in case of escaping a disaster.
- But only kind of, as your biggest problem is probably huge crowds of other people.
- Jersey and the Bronx are popular post-disaster destinations
- But some people think you'd be best off stealing a boat and heading up the Hudson.
- Similarly, some think it'd be a good idea to purchase an inflatable raft for the same purpose.
- Some items recommended for a 'go bag' by the posters include a gun (if you can handle it), a swiss army knife, a flashlight, binoculars, a sleeping bag, a bungee cord, power bars, and our personal favorite, a towel.
But our favorite suggestions come from fatbobsmith who recommends:
If TV has tought me anything, and I'm sure it has, you have the following options when a catastrophe hits New York:
1. Start a gang of thugs and stake out your territory
2. Start off as a self-doubting teenager who is confronted by his own weaknesses and becomes a man
3. Become a mutant and hunt the "normals"
4. Become a tough, silent loner, meet a plucky yet cute girl that is kidnapped by thugs. Rescue her, fall in love and make sure the last thing you say is a clever one-liner
Extra credit: Use breakdancing to settle any disputes
So... What's your plan when disaster strikes?
Still photo from "The Day After Tomorrow"
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Clearly we all plan to break dance the night away. Am I right, or am I right?
Soylent Green is people!
I once did the 5-boro bike tour and with 30,000 people on bikes we had to get off and walk at the river crossing out of Manhattan, it was so bottlenecked. Now imagine how many million people, many in cars, others trying to steal your bike, running, shrieking and fighting to get out. Lovely.
I'm sure the Mayor's office and FEMA have a plan as effective as the one implemented during Katrina, so we have nothing to worry about. Or do we?
The contents of my bugout bag are based on the recommendations of my go-to disaster guide, the Zombie Survival Manual:
- Hiking boots (broken in)
- Quart sized water bottle (wide-mouthed)
- water purification tablets
- wind and waterproof matches
- Bandana, Map and Compass, Small Flashlight (AAA Battery)
- Rain Poncho, small signaling mirror
- Sleeping bag
- Silent ballistic weapon (preferably a silenced firearm or crossbow)
- Extra ammunition for 15 kills
- Secondary firearm (preferably a .22 rimfire pistol)
- Hand weapon (preferably a tomahawk or machete)
- Two pairs of socks
People are right...the mobs will be out of control, and so water is the ONLY way to go. I would have stashed in a nearby Red Hook warehouse a raft with a very powerful outboard motor, a la Chuck Norris's in "Missing in Action." I would definitely pack heat because, well, read the Post, if cops are getting shot now, nobody will think twice to cap your ass as the apocalypse rolls in. Also some bottles of water, underwear, my favorite sweater and rain coat, a friendly and super smart dog like mad max's in "the Road Warrior," and a bunch of stoned wheat crackers and cheese. I believe that the movie "Red Dawn" is instructive on this topic, though I would not have the heart to kill a deer, I think.
I can't resist.
Snake Plissken: Who's the Duke?
Cabbie: The Duke? The Duke of New York, A-Number-1, the Big Man, that's who!
Snake Plissken: I wanna meet this Duke.
Cabbie: You can't meet the Duke! Are you crazy? Nobody gets to meet the Duke. You meet him once and then you're dead!
Does anyone know if they make an inflatable raft that you can carry like a backpack? We live 2 blocks from the Hudson and water is definitely the way to go. It's all about paddling down to south Jersey. Unless we'd be swept out to sea. That would be bad.
look at what happened on 9/11 when people were trying to get out of the city. now think about all the people living in manhattan also trying to get out at the same time. Only way, get to the closest yacht club/harbor, steal a sailboat with a motor and go as far away as quickly as you can. get to CT (jersey will be too crowded) and make way to the catskills.
Of course all depends on the nature of the disaster, but "stocking up and staying put" is a strategy worth considering. Then evacuate at your leisure (what, with the crowds cleared you may even get in some descent looting on the way out).
Plan ahead: Drugs may be hard to acquire, so a good stash is mandatory. If you think you'll have a problem saving the stash for the emergency, stop worrying. I'll hold it for you and you can pick it up post-disaster. Survival will depend on all of us working together.
Hey, you forgot the obligatory leather jackets and half-gutted muscle cars with flames that spew from the tailpipe.
That I did forget. Unfortunately, the glider technique would not work anymore. Well I guess the trump building (black glass rectangle) could do for that -- but I wonder if 900 feet is high enough of a start to get to Brooklyn or Queens.