Wife Tries To Abort And Poison Husband's Lovechild
Man Injured By Tree Limb Files Suit Against City
Charles Barron Will Run For Council Speaker
Alleged Tiger Mistress Is Unrecognizable To Dead Fiancee's Dad
New Jersey State Senate To Vote On Gay Marriage
On Sundays, Gothamist publishes opinions pieces by New Yorkers. The views expressed below belong only to the author-- who in this case is actually, um, me.
I've discovered the secret to true New York City happiness: quit your job and throw all of your shit out.
A couple of months ago, I had an epiphany. I had recently graduated from NYU's business school, and strapped down with 120k of MBA debt, I was seriously considering taking one of those white collar MBA jobs-- some job with a title like "management consultant" or "ebullshit strategist." There was only one wrinkle in this otherwise perfect plan: the idea of doing one of those jobs made me feel like throwing up-- all the time. I was literally nauseous for two weeks, and then it came to me: why was I doing this? Sure-- to make money. But why did I need to make money? To buy stuff, to buy an apartment-- the materialist dreams of every New Yorker. But what if I flipped that equation around: instead of making more money to buy more stuff, and buying a larger apartment to hold all that stuff in, what if I threw out all of my stuff, slimmed down my material needs, and learned to live in a smaller space? If I did that, I'd need a lot less money, and that would give me the freedom to choose a job that I actually wanted to do: working on Gothamist full-time.
So I did it. I turned down the corporate job, got a small office for Gothamist down on Chambers Street, and began tearing down the materialist apparatus of my life. First, I got rid of all my DVDs. That was easy-- I considered using Ebay, but then went with Spun, because it was easier. Then I tackled my books: I boxed them up (16 boxes!) and moved them to Manhattan Storage. I would have just donated the boxes to Housing Works Bookstore, but my wife has a sentimental attachment to some of the novels we read in college. I figure after a year of storing them, that attachment will fade, and we'll get rid of them then. Dealing with my CD collection was more difficult-- I had already ripped them to iTunes, but I knew that at some point in the future, I might want to remaster them at a higher sampling rate. Rather than take a chance on throwing them out, I boxed those too and put them in storage as well.
Once all the media was dealt with, I moved to the next phase of my plan. First, I got rid of all the technology I wasn't using-- all the old watches, screens, computers, cameras, video equipment, and MP3 players that were collecting dust around the apartment. Ebay took most of those-- the rest I gave to friends or put out on the street. Next, I went through my closet-- and put out every item of clothing that I hadn't worn in the last twelve months. Then, I took a final spin around the apartment, collecting every thing that didn't have a specific use-- all the decorative tchotchkies and knick-knacks, all the toys and miscellaenous stuff, all the furniture that wasn't completely and totally necessary. All gone! Afterwards, I looked around the now-empty apartment, and felt a wonderful sense of relief. I felt totally unburdened.
My plan for the future is simple: earn as much money as I can, doing what I love, and spend money only when I have to-- on stuff that I absolutely need or will use. Of course I'm keeping my computer, my camera, and my clothes-- I need that stuff to do my job, and I make no apologies for that. The money that I don't spend will go into savings. Some of that money will go towards great experiences: travel, eating good food, going out, things like that. At some point in the future, maybe we'll use some money to buy an apartment-- but maybe we won't. It seems silly to renounce materialism and then spend some ungodly amount of money to buy an overpriced apartment in a neighborhood that doesn't excite us.
So I urge you to consider doing what I've done: reduce your material needs, find a job that you love, and spend your money on things that really matter: tools that you'll use and experiences that you'll remember for the rest of your life. Trust me-- the happiness is going to blow your mind.
Jake Dobkin is the publisher of Gothamist. In his spare time, he photographs streetart and cares for a very needy cat.
add to stumble upon
add to reddit
tweet this
post to facebook
wow oh wow oh wow - congratulations! i am so inspired. what an amazing thing. this is my favorite site on the internet. YES my favorite site. and i work for a search engine ... i know lots of sites. anyway, good luck to you. i am extremely grateful that you are doing this - not only for my reading pleasure, but also, for giving me lots to think about. thanks.
Way to go, Jake! It's nice to hear someone doing something for the right reason. Keep up the great work!
Wow, you must have a very understanding wife =D
You are lucky.
Pretty unusual response to finishing B-school. I guess you'll still be able to meet those school loan payments.
Wish you the best with these new plans. They sound stupendous! We all have way too much stuff and the timing of your discarding stuff probably couldn't come at a better moment. If you had gone the work for a lot of money route, you'd have to reward yourself with more gizmos, etc.
I don't live in NY any more but I'm always amazed at how much money a lot of people, friends, make there but also how much money they spend, maybe to justify what they make.
Hope your life remains empty...materialistically speaking,
H
Thanks for sharing Jake and congratulations on your new 'lifestyle'. You're braver than most and seems like you're getting satisfaction from it too. Keep it up man.
that's always been my philosophy: work less, live more. my family can't understand why i still haven't broken the $34K per annum barrier, but i could never become an investment banker just for the salary.
my theory is this: people slave away at jobs they hate, or at least are indifferent to, in order to make as much money as they can, so they can buy endless amounts of crap and diversions and entertainments to insulate them from their unhappiness and/or lack of satisfaction. if you love what you do, though, you realize that stuff just weighs you down. you spend a disproportionate amount of energy keeping up with it than actually enjoying it.
yay for you!
I like the 'spirit' of your post, but it rings somewhat false.
Jake, you live in Soho/Greenwich Village were rents for a one bedroom start at $2500 a month. Plus you have a huge school loan to pay off, and you're talking about a small office on Chambers -- at least $1500 a month. Clearly you have family funds to fall back on from either your family or your wife's, because there's no way the ads on Gothamist alone can support all that PLUS your basic food, transport, medical expenses.
It would be more credible if you were typing this from some $800 a month studio in Brooklyn struggling to survive. But you live in a rich area, go out often to expensive places (all detailed online), so it's a bit of a stretch to suddenly see you as another struggling New Yorker.
Telling people to do what you did is a nice sentiment, but before you encourage people to do that, you might want to mention that you are for most part on solid financial ground and don't NEED to take a big business job.
why do you need an office? how many people work there? i thought the beauty of blogging is that you don't need an office. the city, even the world, is full of free wifi. maybe even your own rented apartment. shouldn't that money go to paying your writers?
gothamist seems like a dictatorship if you ask me and i can no longer support the exploitation of using people to live your so-called "material-free" lifestyle.
I must also agree with Disgusted. Gothamist and it's related sites, are all based on a business model in which the writers DON'T GET PAID. I think part of their acceptance of this was knowing that Jen and Jake weren't living off the money from the site (they had other income). But now that Jake is declaring he intends to live and eat from the profits of the site, how can any self respecting person continue to work for these guys for FREE??
Is the business model changing, or is Jake just hoping all these writers like him enough to help him pay his rent?
Nick said,
"the idea of 'struggling' new yorkers is a myth. if they were struggling they'd live somewhere where a 'cheap' studio isnt 800 dollars."
Then you must understand how absurd Jake's post sounds. His rent is probably around $3000 or more, and he's telling people he's throwing off the shackles of big business to 'get down in the trenches' and struggle on less money. Sorry, but that's laughable.
clarification: the office space we are using is free-- donated in return for me doing some work for the people that own the office-- so it's not costing GothamistLLC anything. and having the space is very helpful-- we're getting much more done than when we operated the business out of my living room.
likewise, gothamist pays me a robust salary of $2000 per month-- the rest of the money i earn comes from consulting work i'm doing in the off-hours. so you can rest assured that no one has been exploited in the production of this site.
the point of this post is that you don't need to make $10,000 a month, $5000 per month, or even $3000 per month to be happy in the city. and for many of us, it's going to be a lot easier to give up on materialism than to break your back to make a little more.
Jake also travels quite a bit as detailed online. There's a flashing neon light here that spells " Other sources of income not disclosed"
Dropping excess material posessions is wonderful and all, but I agree that from your vantage point, it is a hollow call to those of us without a pillow of cash under our backs. I've done my best to rid my useless material belongings, but I, and many others, are completely dependent on our jobs -- of which few enjoy -- to stay in our apartments and the city. apartments in outer boroughs, that is, not in fashionable manhattan neighborhoods.
additionally, while trashing tchotchkies might aid you in the long run, destroying collections of art, music, or literature just to add a couple square feet of space seems highly counterproductive when such items can be extremley influential and inspirational.
imagine yourself with $2K in your checkings account, and $1K in savings -- at most. would you continue to live where you are? would you continue to enjoy the luxuries of fine dining? do you think a job blogging on the internet would ease you through?
in answer to dr. strangle: yes, i would live like this no matter how much money i had in my checking account. i didn't grow up with a lot of money-- my mom is a nurse and my dad was a legal aid attorney-- and i've not taken a dime from them since i was 19. luckily, i've never needed a lot to get by.
but so that no one is confused: my wife is an elementary school teacher, so i have health insurance through that-- and of course that makes it easier to work for myself. and i understand why people are suspicious-- that there must be some catch. there isn't-- between gothamist and my consulting work, i make more than enough to support myself, pay my expenses, and save a reasonable amount each month. the only "secret" is not wasting money on a lot of shit you don't need-- like a huge apartment (our "soho one bedroom" is a 400 sqft apartment in a old tenement building-- with a very reasonable rent,) eating out a lot, or buying lots of expensive toys.
Jake-
Best of luck in living the dream and don't be afraid to take advantage of the resources back at Stern, the alumni, etc.
If you get kicked out of your free office, apply for the stern incubator!
Wow, the pittance that Gothamist gives you each month is nearly equivalent to my post-tax salary as a resident AND you get money from consult jobs. I get by just fine on my salary and I never thought I was living the stripped down life or anything. It just comes down to perception (and perhaps rent-stabilization).
Congrats on the new outlook Jake. I came to a similar conclusion in College after I was robbed, over the course of a year, of my laptop, camera, walkman, wallet, drugs, shake-awake alarm clock, and my wallet again (damn you Chicago!). Keeping your personal possessions down to just the bare minimum can be a nice way to live. It also makes it easier to make a paycheck last longer (that and quitting smoking... what a great way to save money). I wouldn't recommend actually getting rid of the books though, weed through them yes but don't chuck 'em. Having a personal library of any size is, as I'm sure you know, about as good as it gets.
Go Jake! Living off what you can make by doing what you love definitely trumps doing something you hate to earn money to spend in what little time you're not working... Good luck to you.
I think Jake is doing what he wants to do, and should be congratulated for it. When I heard he was thinking through what was next for him, I thought about how a corporate job would deal with the owner of gothamist as an employee. The short answer is that most would not.
So, it's all about priorities. He's made his choice and given up the things that don't advance his goals. I think more people would be happy if they went through the same process and picked their own things to focus on. Rather than trying to guess his rent or tell him how he should run his life.
PS: Unless you're one of the Gothamist contributors, I don't think any of us can say whether or not Jake is exploiting anyone. It seems to me that most of them have their own blogs and are getting something out of the larger/different audience. If they're not, they should do something else.
To Jake: Good luck -- I hope this change works out for the best. Its great to see people not increasing their work and income soley to afford more crap they don't need.
To the Haters: Jake's main point is that reducing clutter and possessions, doing work you enjoy, and saving money for important things has been satisfying for him. 'lower on the income chain' correctly pointed out that perception (and context) affect how much money/stuff/etc fits your life. This outlook can work whether you have a 100k or 1k.
People don't necessarily work at high-paying jobs merely to amass a bunch of crap. It is very easy to judge corporate "sellouts," but here's my $.02 I'm a lawyer at a big NYC firm and, yes, it sucks up an enormous amount of my time and is very, very stressful. I also make what, for me, is a very high salary. Would I trade it all to work for Legal Aid or something a little more interesting? No frigging way. For me, it is fantastic and unprecedented to not have to worry about paying back my student loans (still not sure how you're swinging that, Jake) or how to cover myself should something catastrophic happen in my life. If I need something, I can buy it and not have to sweat whether I can get it $5 cheaper halfway across the city. I can send my parents on vacation and take my siblings out for nice dinners - not necessities, of course, but certainly luxuries they've never had. That helps me sleep at night (even if I do get home at 1:00 a.m.) a hell of a lot better than doing work I love for peanuts ever would.
Jake, Henry Bar-Levav is looking for a management consultant. ;>
I have a personal saying that business is for people who couldn't do anything else in life, so if you have something else you can do then I would do it.
responding to samantha, i just couldn't see selling out my dreams for a few vacations and dinners. the basics-- good food and drink, great friends, and occasional travel-- that stuff can all be done without making such a sacrifice.
growing up, my parents were the legal aid attorneys you are talking about-- and we didn't want for anything. sure, we were vacationing up in the catskills, and not in europe, but in that my parents were able to do what they wanted with their lives, that seems a reasonable trade.
This is GOOD.
I have done the same thing in recent years. I was once an art director (a.d.) after graduating art school. That was then and this is now.
I have stopped being a corporate a.d. because there is no great creative out there anymore, at least since the client makes all the BS calls (I should claify this on a corporate level only).
I stopped working in corporania years ago and make a lot less in terms of salary, but I'm 1000% happier with my life and the path it's progressing on.
My apt is a small-ass studio in Hell's Kitchen which I have been living in for 7 years. I also plan on staying here for many years to come. I'm a production director and that affords me time and money to invest in my likes and loves, which include photography and design.
It's not hard to live comfortably in Manhattan with a small salary. If you budget your money and time accordingly and not go to froofy (bad food and service) restaurants just because Zagat gives a biased review, or your single and that's the flavor of the week singles spot, you can very easily survive beyond your means. Without being in debt (not incl school loans).
It also helps to be smart with your money. SAVE! open, if you have not already, an ING account. 3.5-4% interest. Put a little away each week and you will be a much happier person in a few years.
As for traveling extensively, that goes back to savings and credit card points. Be smart.
Back to what Jake was saying earlier, minimizing your direct everyday needs in your apt is a perfect idea for not collecting hundreds of unessesary goods that only make you look like the cat lady. The only things I have in my apt that I adore are a few GREAT dvds, cds (all of which are in case-logic booklets to reduce clutter, and my fave books.
Eventually, if and when any of us (me or you) move out of New York and get a larger home or stay in New York and still get a larger home, then and only then will there be space for your crap, but even then, don't be a pack rat.
Godspeed to you, Jake.
Thanks for the inspiration.
Jake, if this course of action makes you happy, I say: go for it!
Whatever we do in life needs to be balanced with the fact that we have to be happy with it. You wouldn't be the first guy who woke up one day and realized that the course you're on makes you miserable, but this is the most comprhensive solution I've heard so far.
Honestly, good luck with it.
of course this is the best route, Jake. this sholdn't have come as any surprise to you...
work your ass off for the next two-three years, and if all goes well with this economic return, you'll be able to sell of gothamist for at least 2-3 mil.
Awesome, Jake. Just awesome.
How inspirational! I quit my high paying corporate job 5 months ago with your same realization. Now I am squatting in my friend's apartment (which is under re-construction) with all my worldly possessions in two boxes. It was a great relief to cull through all my unneeded possessions. Now I am ready to move on ... to Sydney, Australia and start life anew in the humanitarian world.
"How inspirational! I quit my high paying corporate job 5 months ago with your same realization. Now I am squatting in my friend's apartment (which is under re-construction) with all my worldly possessions in two boxes. It was a great relief to cull through all my unneeded possessions. Now I am ready to move on ... to Sydney, Australia and start life anew in the humanitarian world."
Where I'll be squatting on another friends couch. :^)
Ah, young skywalker, I was once young and idealistic like you.
Finished my MBA, found out that the corporte world sucked and went out to start my own empire.
Screw the debt, Screw selling out. I am going to be my own man. Ah, the makings of an idiot
Then you have a kid and everything is supposed to change. Unless you are a real idiot, and keep trying to build your own empire (I can tell you all about that).
Welcome to the idiot club! We are always looking for new members.
of course, it sounds like jake and wife have perfectly portable job skills, so i'm not exactly sure why they--or anyone not working in publishing, theater, or some other exclusively new york-based industry--would choose to stay in this overpriced city in the first place if the simpler life is the priority.
new york is great. but, i find (especially as a single person) that having to choose between a job i hate or living in a place that is either unsafe or over an hour away from the things that make new york worth moving to really scrapes the shine off. i have to say, after five years here, i'm thinking i won't be renewing my lease. too many compromises to make here.
i sort of get the feeling i'm not alone in this. i wonder if there is going to be a sort of reverse "brain drain" back to the cheaper (and becoming-more-sophisticated) middle states. like how all the artists fled new york in the 20's because paris was so much cheaper...i wonder if the lost generation of the new millennium will set up court in omaha, if new york will become just a city of consumers again, not creators.
Did Jake write this because he’s proud of what he did? Or because he needs affirmation (which means it isn’t very confident.) I understand the column is called “opinionist,” but…I guess this is called the “comment” board.
I think the following comment above by Jake says a lot about where he's coming from:
"point of this post is that you don't need to make $10,000 a month, $5000 per month, or even $3000 per month to be happy in the city."
The fact that, at almost 30, Jake is just figuring this out now says a little bit about how he either grew up, or has lived his life to this point. For many of us, at 30, we have barely gotten to a point where our lives are good enough (financially) to be able to give anything up. Knowing gothamist's respective backgrounds (and those of gothamist's sig. other AND gothamist's "uptown office" - please, for the love of Christ, don't let Jen write one of these), I just cannot help but feel this grotesquely naive.
Here’s why this screed rings false, people who genuinely act in a manner of true self betterment need not tell anyone else about it. Why try and convince others? Does Jake feel he has tripped upon some morsel of wisdom the rest of us have never considered?
Finally, the fact that this piece is titled the “Tao” of anything makes it even more absurd. Jake, just don’t go getting any Chinese character tattoos without checking with a native speaker first Ok.
I hope that Gothamist is a financial success if only for the selfish reason that I read it daily and enjoy it. I guess my beef with this whole Opinionist is that I think the whole "do what you love and everything will work out just fine" is a bit disingenuous in a city like New York. There is nothing shameful about working more for money than for personal nirvana - especially if you have kids or somebody else depending on your income.
how about.... not being full of conspicuous consumption (hello iPod people) BUT still having your corporate job and..gulp.. being so unhip and declasse as to actually LIKE that job. And then... get this.... actually saving money so you'll have a nest egg and be able to take care of people besides yourself -- whether that be kids, elderly parents, siblings, whatever.
Congrats to Jake with his purification and grown-up-edness and all, but frankly I'm shocked that this is such a big deal. If anything, the fact that Jake has to boast that he lives within his means and has a job he likes (way to go spending that cash on an MBA, dude, too bad you didn't figure this out before you went to school) -- its actually kind of pathetic.
Not to harsh too much on Jake himself, but his post and these comments reflect more about the ME ME ME consumerist "hipster" crap in NYC (ie the stuff Jake writes about) than it does about Jake and his so-called evolvedness.
I love your website. - you're doing the right thing. I too am digusted by the needless materialism in the world - Good for you, Jake!
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
- Ellen Goodman
"Being poor is having to keep buying $800 cars because they're what you can afford, and then having the cars break down on you, because there's not an $800 car in America that's worth a damn."
- John Scalzi
And to paraphrase Lloyd Bentsen: I lived with with poor people. I know poor people. Poor people have always been friends of mine. Gothamist, you're no poor person.
so you cleaned your closet and put some shit in storage to devote more time to coding HTML on a computer - all with an attitude of superiority. good for you.
Jake, your public persona on the Web seems to refelect a materialistic orientation and belies your "Tao" of simple living without luxuries.
How is what you advocate different from what's espoused in "What Color is Your Parachute" or other life planning manuals?
Is Gothamist about New York, or about you?
as the "opinionist" header and disclaimer at the top suggests, this is an opinion piece-- so to the extent that it's about my opinions, it's about me. i wouldn't have published if i didn't genuinely believe that it'd provoke some thought in the people that read it.
every day in nyc we're bombarded with billions of dollars worth of advertising-- all of it says "consume more!" and "make more money!" i'm just sick of it, and i'm not going to run in that race anymore.
my public persona on the web (what a ridiculous expression) goes back about 10 years-- and until recently i was swimming in very much the same direction as most people-- looking for ways to make more money, looking for ways to spend more money, and trying to convince myself that the materialist path would one day lead to happiness. i know now that it doesn't, at least not for me-- so to the extent that i've changed, you're not going to learn much about what i believe from doing google searches on my name.
every day in nyc we're bombarded with billions of dollars worth of advertising-- all of it says "consume more!" and "make more money!" i'm just sick of it, and i'm not going to run in that race anymore.
I totally agree! And I suddenly, mysteriously want a Nokia phone. And ZoneChef delivery, and a costume. Lacing up my racing shoes.....
I don't live in new york, but certainly I know how expensive the city is. While Jake here has had an epiphany for himself and his lifestyle, his attempt at passing on his "wisdom", is a little pompous. Is the suggestions in this article not obvious? The thing is that most people can't really afford all this "stuff" that supposedly everyone has. I have many friends that sell a variety of things on ebay all the time just to make some extra money for rent, and they don't live in any sort of extravagant apartment. They all have university degrees too, but lets face it living in any sort of large metropolitan city requires money just to get by, New York more than most. Jake makes some positive comments here, but unfortunately I find it a little too simplistic and somewhat immature. He makes it seem like anyone can take his new found "model" for living and apply it to themselves, and all will be great.
Maybe Jake should take his new graduate degree, because he is very lucky to have even had the opportunity to get one, and make some lovely money which he can then put back into society, say helping the homeless, or kids on the street.
I don't know how old Jake is, but I think he needs to do a little more "living" first before he offers such advice.
Ohmy, what a load of would-be-smarties on here. I stumbled on this post through the link on Bluejake. Jake's Tao-posting made me smile, the comments made me grin.
Of course, I added some grease between his letters keeping in mind his marriage pictures which I adored (not exactly the average townhall), the endless travel sequals, etc...
But heck, what do we know? Can't we just stick with the intention, the signal instead of pretending we can calculate Jake's bottom line?
What I read: he dared and decided. I can even see him doubting "And what when I'll have kids? Will my bottom line still work?". If only more of those itchy/frusty souls out there would (have) do(ne) the same, there would be less acid around here.
John - www.baeyens.net - www.photoblog.net/john
a 32-year old Taoist living in Ipanema (Google me and make my bottom line). I wished more of you could come over here and understand what Cariocas are about (you need it). What do I hear you saying? Can't afford the plane ticket? Read this posting of another Taoist (Google him and make his bottom line): http://www.kottke.org/05/11/street-food-in-bangkok