Attention Millionaires: Rupert Needs Your Help!

The New York Times has an absolutely nausiating piece in their Home and Gardens section about Rupert Murdoch's SoHo apartment. Apparently it's been on the market since June, and there have been only six prospective buyers and no offers made. One possibility is that the price is a tad, wee-bit too high: $28,000,000! That's $3,000 per square foot! Heartbreakingly, as Curbed reminds us at least once a day, that's no longer considered a ridiculous price in Manhattan. So what do you get for your $28 xxx-large? Check out some of these features:

* Conveniently located on the corner of Prince and West Broadway, above the Meisel Gallery-- that's just a block away from M&O Grocery, where they make great roasted turkey sandwiches on Tuesdays and Fridays!

* 9300 sqft across three floors, with a hollowed out water tower-- they use it to store stacks of "Prada outdoor cushions", and you can too!

* "Australian walnut doors... custom-designed furniture by Mr. Liaigre, a fully-outfitted gym and a large screening room with a 35-millimeter projector...bathtubs and sinks carved from single slabs of Italian Carrara marble" -- all those adjectives-- you know they didn't come cheap!

Once you are done throwing up and crying about the penury in which you live, get together with 28,000 of your closest friends and put a bid in today on the Corcoran website.