A self-proclaimed Satanist is angry that two men who attacked him with a metal pipe avoided jail and just got probation and community service, which leads to the inevitable Daily News story filled with devil puns. Queens resident Daniel Romano tells the Daily News, "Imagine if a Satanist had attacked a Catholic for a hate crime. Imagine how much jail time I'd get." Reports say that Paul Rotondi and Frank Scarpinito harrassed Romano ("sporting black nail polish and an inverted crucifix" but was "on his way to meet his mother" at a laundromat) and then assaulted him with a metal pipe and ice scraper. But a judge agreed with the defense's argument that the fight was over money. Reminder to all: Do not make deal with the Devil or his worshippers. Some final ironic facts: Rotondi and Scarpinito are doing community service at a church; and the Church of Satan says that Romano is not a member. On the other hand, Church of Satan's website has picture of people wearing animal masks, so how would they know?