BREAKING!!! MURDER AT TEANY!!!

If this happened at the McDonald's on Delancey, does it get the BREAKING NEWS treatment?

To -ed,

Eat a dick. So you want to get rid of the schizo wanderers? And I want to get rid of hipsters who hang out at Teany and discuss denim. Who the hell are you to say that? Get your cock out of your vintage tshirt wearing boyfriend, put down your iced soy faggachino and get a real job.

ps: In case you hipsters haven't noticed the murder rate on the LES is up 300% for the year. Better move back home.

There's a difference between getting a "jolt" when you hear about a murder in your neighborhood and rushing over to photograph it FOR YOUR BLOG. We all get a chill when something bad happens in our neighborhood, of course, since it cuts closer to home and gives us that creepy, if somewhat unlikely, "it could have been me" feeling.

Instead of being creeped out, Gothamist thought, cool!!! Murder!!! Let's get a picture of the body - someone's father, husband, brother and friend - and put it on our blog!!! Did Jake ever think that maybe the police didn't want people swarming in from all over or even a few blocks away to rubberneck?

And if anyone had made a joke about Kennedy's assassination while reporting about it on Nov. 21st or 22nd, 1963, even if the joke was sourced to someone else, people would have been outraged. Comedy equals tragedy plus time, no? I doubt this guy's family is ready for too many laughs.

Its about time to state the obvious. Fuck the homeless and the squatters and the vagrants and the schizo wanderers. Beat them, kill them, crush their skulls. Just get them the hell out of my city.

The exclamation points in this item are a bit much, but Jesus people, I think the author, Jake Dobkin, lives in this neighborhood (I may be mistaken). And whatever the demographics (hipster or otherwise) of a neighborhood, I think we'd all get more exercised about a murder that occurs around the corner to our apt. than one in a different borough. I live nowhere the LES, but my sister used to and I still walk down Rivington (past Teany) about three times a week and got a jolt when I heard someone was stabbed there. Who wouldn't when your normally peaceful environment is suddenly a site of violence?

As for the immature and ill-conceived quote from Gawker, there's nothing to indicate that Gothamist wasn't placing it there as a typical take on an event from a website with a well-established outlook on things, without judgement from Gothamist's agreement.

For example: "President Kennedy was killed yesterday by a lone gunman in Dallas, on the 21st of November, 1963.

"Separately, the National Enquirer reported that it was all a scam to abduct him and feed him stupid LES sandwiches."

The disparity between tone and attitude of the two statements is pretty clear. Both could be published in sequence by the same outlet and one wouldn't normally assume the publication was endorsing the latter.

Shut up, all of you! Hipster bashing is the new Trucker Hat. It's OVER. Gothamist, this was way out of line. You should make a public apology to end this lame-o snarkfest. Snark is OVER too.

Gawker is a sleazy publication, of course they'd print that. They print horrible things about people EVERY DAY. But are they any worse than the local news or The Post--who will stick their microphones and cameras in the faces of people whose friends and families get killed and use their stories for profit? At least Gawker's motives are clear.

From the Newsday article:

"This neighborhood is so pretentious the last thing you would expect is somebody running down the street bleeding."

That just about says it all.

Look, there are murders every week in NYC that never get play in Gothamist because they happen to people that Gothamist doesn't give a shit about, in places that Gothamist doesn't give a shit about. Gothamist claims to be about New York, but it's really only about below-14th and parts of Brooklyn. So how can anyone be surprised when Gothamist considers an LES stabbing to be BREAKING NEWS?

It's not the bad joke that gets me, it's the "everyone, let's all go run over and stare at a murder scene, so we can blog about it" attitude that is pretty tacky.

Jake's parents bought him his camera, his laptop, and his bike.

Like the Village Voice, people only read Gothamist for the concert listings, so shut the fuck up and stay away from "reporting" or whatever grown-up thing you were trying to do. No one cares what you have to say, or, if they did, they certainly don't now.

A hipster is anyone who's hipper than you.

The problem with Gothamist's pathtetic attempt at humor is how out of context it is. The usual tone of Gothamist is very safe, neutral and basiaclly earnest and "do gooder." To hear the tactless enthusiasm over a murder because it happened at a Gotahmist-approved hotspot, along with the cold-hearted sarcasm (albeit via Gawker) was jarring and annoying. I can take a tasteless joke as well as the next guy, but I don't wanna hear it from an otherwise humorless sourced like Gothamist.

Poor showing, y'all.

A guy is murdered and Gothamist's first thought is, "Cool! I'll bike over and take a picture!"

'Nuff said.

This post has shown that there are two types of people: those that say what's on their minds and sanctimonious fatheads who believe that having compassion for murder victims and taking pleasure in making disparaging remarks about Moby are mutually exclusive.

The tone of this post has made your site disgusting and worthless.

This post has shown that there are two types of people: people who have compassion for murder victims and people who like to stereotype and bait hipsters.

In defining "hipster," the following was forgotten:

Hipsters are the young people who live in Williamsburng and Greenpoint and do things like take digital photographs of garbage. They live in expensive apartments paid for by their parents. They rarely do their own cooking, and if they do, they take a digital photograph of it, and they never clean.

victim was not a hipster, he was the super of the building the vagrant was in front, he was just doing his job. fyi, later today cops found an assault rifle on the roof of 119 orchard, just down the street. probably unrelated, but scary still.

i know all this cause i live in this neighborhood. all these people who are making light of it are sick in the head.

One less hipster, right?

By the way, the stabbing victim just died.

Makes it all so much more hilarious, huh?

Hipsters have iPods.

Hipsters use the word "like" and "totally" as sentence filler (I was all like, yeah, and she was all like, that's like totally so big) and end their sentences with an upswing.

Hipsters drink Pabst Blue Ribbon and Rheingold.

Hipsters hang at Lit, Pianos and the Dark Room.

Hipsters say "for here" instead of "to stay" when they order a slice.

Hipsters still have their old ID from Wisconsin even though they've been living in New York the past three years.

Hipsters call blacks "hip hop guys."

Hipsters complain about gentrification every time they go out.

Hipsters have tattoos of stars.

Hipsters say "in" the Lower East Side instead of "on" the Lower East Side.

Hipsters deny that they are actually hipsters themselves, despite all of the above being true.

Hipster:

Someone who lives in a neighborhood they shouldn't because they can't afford rents in non-fringe nabes.

Someone who causes the GAP, Starbucks, Sprint, Jamba Juice and other corporate cocksuckers to ruin a neighborhood. Someone who jacks rents up for natives. Someone who has an identity crisis and should move back to the midwest to sell copiers. STOP RUINING THE CITY!!! Enjoy the Nets in Brooklyn and IKEA in your backyard.

Hah I don't see the big news of why this murder has to be posted above all murders in NYC.

Moby's Teany teashop. Sounds Gay

Better bust out the Gay Fuel and start chuggin

There's a strap-on place next door?

(Just in the interest of journalism, you understand...)

i bet it was one of those mutant killer lesbians from the strap-on place next door.

Anyone who hates hipsters is usually a hipster, since hipsters are often the self-hating type.

Who else is even familiar enough with **the scene*** to actually point out what a hipster is? I definately don't hear work-a-day types and suburban kids getting bent out of shape over the dork who's wearing "that stupid shirt/haircut/belt, etc."

Unless they do ... I don't know what's going on anymore.

OMG the ungentrification has started! 70's NY is back! No one's safe! Not even your boutique soft drinks will save you!

My heart goes out to the victim and the victim's family. But, please people, I'm going back to bed; don't wake me up until they stab Moby himself.

hey L'Em, where have you been? theres some work to be done over at memefirst.

The hipsters are EATING EACH OTHER OMGWTFBBQ !1!!111elevenl!!11!

We've argued about this before. Humor about such horrors is the New York way - if you don't like it, GTFO. Kansas needs PR chicks, too.

That said, this post wasn't really all that funny. Be more funny!

So it's really just a generic stereotyping insult for people interested in culture? That's not a very impressive thing to say.

But if George Bush is the anti-hipster, is it even an insult? It sounds like there are way worse things to be than harmlessly cool.

George Bush is no hipster.

hipster = someone you don't like.

that's pretty simple.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

A hipster is a person who is strongly associated with a subculture that has been deemed "hip", or "hep". The term was used originally in the 1940s and 1950s to describe aficionados of jazz, and it eventually described many members of the Beat Generation, but its usage declined in the 1960s, with the advent of hippies. Since the mid 1990s, the word "hipster" has been redefined to refer to members of a different subculture. Modern hipsters are those devoted to ironic retro fashions, indie music and film, alternative comics, and other forms of expression outside the mainstream.





More generally, trendsetters in fashion are sometimes called hipsters, though this use is distinct from the hipster subculture, whose fashion sensibilities are specific and not usually destined for the mainstream.





[...]





Since the late 1990s, the word hipster has resurfaced as a term to describe performers and devotees of indie rock, intelligent dance music, and related styles of music, and those who follow the associated fashions and tastes. Accessories of the modern hipster include Vespa scooters; Buddy Holly-style glasses; and vintage clothing, with patches and buttons bearing ironic messages.





Modern hipsters often follow or are involved with the local art and DJ scenes, and are often associated with independent film and alternative comics. Unlike previous generations of hipsters, they are rarely now associated with the jazz scene, though the term may have re-entered use as a result of the swing revival of the mid-1990s, which many current hipsters were associated with at the time.





As with any distinctive subculture, the hipster -- or at least the supposed hipster stereotype -- is sometimes a target of derision or satire, though, as the subculture is a fairly amorphous group that generally appreciates irony and self-deprecation, the audience is often as not the hipsters themselves. Robert Lanham's The Hipster Handbook affectionately lampoons the hipster cliche in its current incarnation. Numerous web sites also exist that less-affectionately express their authors' exasperation at hipster cliches. Many would argue that the term "hipster" itself is derisive, and it is almost never used as a label for self-identification.

Websters dictionary: hipster is a trend conscious person, often found working in the arts. the hipster often evokes resentment from stulted dimwits who give firm lectures about acceptable language and attitudes. The 'anti-hipster' (a.k.a. 'tightass) often calls for speech codes for language that causes discomfort to their thin skinned sensibilities.

They dance to Abba, Joy Division and the Rolling Stones, all of which are as above-ground as you can get.

Hipster:

"Someone who thinks that they are being "special" and "unique" for liking some underground bullshit no one else cares about. And they pointlessly look down on people who don't know anything about indie culture, because that's the only thing they know anything about. They're quick to call the rest of the world conformists when in reality, they are the ones conforming by partaking in a "too cool for mainstream so i am going to reject it by looking and acting like a grungy asshole" way of life only to seem uber-fashionable. They just end up looking like idiots."

So Says UrbanDictionary

define: hipster

Doofus who finds entertainment in complaining about municipal type manners; Hipsters are known to complain quite a bit, however one will never see said hipster contributing to a solution to said problem.

Moby trivia:

Moby was born in New York City in 1965.

Moby is a descendent of Herman Melville.

Moby doesn't like to eat meat.

Moby used to be in a punk band.

What's a hipster?

Whoa dude. This is totally not cool! I was planning on playing a little game of Hacky Sack in front of Teany's this afternoon. This TOTALLY messes up my game... and my vibe.

god, all you hipster-jerkoffs trying to be so ironic are annoying... and worse. not even funny.

fuck off. i live in that building and it was horrible to leave my apartment this morning to find a pool of blood outside of the doorway and then have to climb over the railing to avoid the murder scene. obviously people are going to be more distressed about a murder in their neighborhood than one in a diffrent area because it hits closer to home. and yeah, the media does cover crime unfairly, but somehow i dont think gothamist is quite the same as fox news.

the impending hipster holocaust is coming, nignogs!

I kind of understand the attempt at ironic humor here, but it's quite lame at best.

Gawker's lame and tasteless joke. But Gothamist's lame aping of a very, very tasteless joke.

Quite pathetic on all sides.

Obviously it was a hate crime. Everyone hates vegans.

i agree that this post of crime shows a lack of effort to research other murders in the city...ie the ones that occur in non trendy hoods areas. this is of the same level of coolness as CNN,FOX, etc... show when they report on only the missing and dead white women of america ie natalie, runaway bride, etc...

silly.

someone got stabbed in new york ... damn.

someone got stabbed in new york in the village ... yikes.

someone got stabbed in new york in the village in front of moby's store where one of my buddies works part time ... oh shit!!!

someone got stabbed in new york in the village in front of moby's store where one of my buddies works part time at nine in the morning!?!?!?

I wonder if this was overheard at the scene:

"What are you gonna do, stab me?"

This will be a big story especially if the victim was a young white girl and aspiring actress/singer/model/student/sweetiepie/bartender/blogger/dancer.

There's nothing humorous about this. This blog now makes me quite ill.

yeah, this report is kind of tasteless in humor.

"Gawker has a picture from the scene and also rules out a heroin-infused cashew butter sandwich as a weapon."

I hope it wasn't one of your relatives you morons

yeah, this report is kind of tasteless in humor.

"Gawker has a picture from the scene and also rules out a heroin-infused cashew butter sandwich as a weapon."

I hope it wasn't one of your relatives you morons

It was me. I did it.

Where's the humor in murder? I love a good joke, but not at the expense of someone's tragic and violent death.

I'm sure this crime is simply HILARIOUS to the victim's family, the residents and store owners on the block, and the cops who are investigating. What a laugh riot!

I wish people reading this blog would chill out. What a bunch of humorless bores!

Only if you touch my naughty spot

gee JPS, since my grandmother passed away I don't have anyone to give me firm lectures about etiquette and the rules of proper comportment. Will you be my grandma?

To be fair, it was Gawker's joke. Still, had someone Gothamist known been killed I doubt "we'd" be joking about such a terrible crime.

Between the overdoses and random violence it's starting to feel like old times in the east village. I'll miss moby.

Agreed kbc.

Time to Chillax already.

"Gawker has a picture from the scene and also rules out a heroin-infused cashew butter sandwich as a weapon."

??

What the hell is wrong with you guys? A person was apparently killed this morning and you're using it as ammo for a (rather lame) joke??

Bloggers=hipsters

Hipster central business (Teany) is location of violent attack (is a hipster dead?), Gothamist/Gawker/et al. flip out.

Quite dull. If this had happened in Co-Op City or Brownsville, you wouldn't be screaming in all caps and Gawker wouldn't be allotting it its own "breaking-news" (scoff) item, either.

Get a grip.

-kbc

"Brother was dead

Ooh Lordy, troubles so hard

Ooh Lordy, troubles so hard

Don't nobody know my troubles but God

Don't nobody know my troubles but God"

-Seemed appropo

it was a murder scene - i know someone who works at the realty. guy was stabbed when he confronted another guy who was throwing garbage onto the street. he was stabbed and died later. police filed their report from the realty office, description of the perp is a 5'9" skinny, white male with long dirty-blonde hair.

Meat is murder. Is that what this is all about?

you guys are gay.

there were police ropes around the street bet orchard and ludlow and a few policemen but it didn't look like a murder scene.

and yeah, if it was you guys are a bit too eager. losers. go eat some corn at cafe habana.

no offense, but your post sounds like you're excited about this news. may want to change the tone a bit to be more sympathetic?

Why all the hubbub about this? Is the Teany teashop where all the Bloggers meet or something?

also seen in the gothamist forum this morning.

chill out. you are not drudge.