BREAKING!!! MURDER AT TEANY!!!

If this happened at the McDonald's on Delancey, does it get the BREAKING NEWS treatment?

To -ed,

Eat a dick. So you want to get rid of the schizo wanderers? And I want to get rid of hipsters who hang out at Teany and discuss denim. Who the hell are you to say that? Get your cock out of your vintage tshirt wearing boyfriend, put down your iced soy faggachino and get a real job.

ps: In case you hipsters haven't noticed the murder rate on the LES is up 300% for the year. Better move back home.

There's a difference between getting a "jolt" when you hear about a murder in your neighborhood and rushing over to photograph it FOR YOUR BLOG. We all get a chill when something bad happens in our neighborhood, of course, since it cuts closer to home and gives us that creepy, if somewhat unlikely, "it could have been me" feeling.

Instead of being creeped out, Gothamist thought, cool!!! Murder!!! Let's get a picture of the body - someone's father, husband, brother and friend - and put it on our blog!!! Did Jake ever think that maybe the police didn't want people swarming in from all over or even a few blocks away to rubberneck?

And if anyone had made a joke about Kennedy's assassination while reporting about it on Nov. 21st or 22nd, 1963, even if the joke was sourced to someone else, people would have been outraged. Comedy equals tragedy plus time, no? I doubt this guy's family is ready for too many laughs.

Its about time to state the obvious. Fuck the homeless and the squatters and the vagrants and the schizo wanderers. Beat them, kill them, crush their skulls. Just get them the hell out of my city.

The exclamation points in this item are a bit much, but Jesus people, I think the author, Jake Dobkin, lives in this neighborhood (I may be mistaken). And whatever the demographics (hipster or otherwise) of a neighborhood, I think we'd all get more exercised about a murder that occurs around the corner to our apt. than one in a different borough. I live nowhere the LES, but my sister used to and I still walk down Rivington (past Teany) about three times a week and got a jolt when I heard someone was stabbed there. Who wouldn't when your normally peaceful environment is suddenly a site of violence?

As for the immature and ill-conceived quote from Gawker, there's nothing to indicate that Gothamist wasn't placing it there as a typical take on an event from a website with a well-established outlook on things, without judgement from Gothamist's agreement.

For example: "President Kennedy was killed yesterday by a lone gunman in Dallas, on the 21st of November, 1963.

"Separately, the National Enquirer reported that it was all a scam to abduct him and feed him stupid LES sandwiches."

The disparity between tone and attitude of the two statements is pretty clear. Both could be published in sequence by the same outlet and one wouldn't normally assume the publication was endorsing the latter.

Shut up, all of you! Hipster bashing is the new Trucker Hat. It's OVER. Gothamist, this was way out of line. You should make a public apology to end this lame-o snarkfest. Snark is OVER too.

Gawker is a sleazy publication, of course they'd print that. They print horrible things about people EVERY DAY. But are they any worse than the local news or The Post--who will stick their microphones and cameras in the faces of people whose friends and families get killed and use their stories for profit? At least Gawker's motives are clear.

From the Newsday article:

"This neighborhood is so pretentious the last thing you would expect is somebody running down the street bleeding."

That just about says it all.

Look, there are murders every week in NYC that never get play in Gothamist because they happen to people that Gothamist doesn't give a shit about, in places that Gothamist doesn't give a shit about. Gothamist claims to be about New York, but it's really only about below-14th and parts of Brooklyn. So how can anyone be surprised when Gothamist considers an LES stabbing to be BREAKING NEWS?

It's not the bad joke that gets me, it's the "everyone, let's all go run over and stare at a murder scene, so we can blog about it" attitude that is pretty tacky.

Jake's parents bought him his camera, his laptop, and his bike.

Like the Village Voice, people only read Gothamist for the concert listings, so shut the fuck up and stay away from "reporting" or whatever grown-up thing you were trying to do. No one cares what you have to say, or, if they did, they certainly don't now.

A hipster is anyone who's hipper than you.

The problem with Gothamist's pathtetic attempt at humor is how out of context it is. The usual tone of Gothamist is very safe, neutral and basiaclly earnest and "do gooder." To hear the tactless enthusiasm over a murder because it happened at a Gotahmist-approved hotspot, along with the cold-hearted sarcasm (albeit via Gawker) was jarring and annoying. I can take a tasteless joke as well as the next guy, but I don't wanna hear it from an otherwise humorless sourced like Gothamist.

Poor showing, y'all.

A guy is murdered and Gothamist's first thought is, "Cool! I'll bike over and take a picture!"

'Nuff said.

This post has shown that there are two types of people: those that say what's on their minds and sanctimonious fatheads who believe that having compassion for murder victims and taking pleasure in making disparaging remarks about Moby are mutually exclusive.

The tone of this post has made your site disgusting and worthless.

This post has shown that there are two types of people: people who have compassion for murder victims and people who like to stereotype and bait hipsters.

In defining "hipster," the following was forgotten:

Hipsters are the young people who live in Williamsburng and Greenpoint and do things like take digital photographs of garbage. They live in expensive apartments paid for by their parents. They rarely do their own cooking, and if they do, they take a digital photograph of it, and they never clean.

victim was not a hipster, he was the super of the building the vagrant was in front, he was just doing his job. fyi, later today cops found an assault rifle on the roof of 119 orchard, just down the street. probably unrelated, but scary still.

i know all this cause i live in this neighborhood. all these people who are making light of it are sick in the head.

One less hipster, right?

By the way, the stabbing victim just died.

Makes it all so much more hilarious, huh?

Hipsters have iPods.

Hipsters use the word "like" and "totally" as sentence filler (I was all like, yeah, and she was all like, that's like totally so big) and end their sentences with an upswing.

Hipsters drink Pabst Blue Ribbon and Rheingold.

Hipsters hang at Lit, Pianos and the Dark Room.

Hipsters say "for here" instead of "to stay" when they order a slice.

Hipsters still have their old ID from Wisconsin even though they've been living in New York the past three years.

Hipsters call blacks "hip hop guys."

Hipsters complain about gentrification every time they go out.

Hipsters have tattoos of stars.

Hipsters say "in" the Lower East Side instead of "on" the Lower East Side.

Hipsters deny that they are actually hipsters themselves, despite all of the above being true.