Gothamist: Mistaken Identity Leads to Thumb Severing by Machete

dude2

Fri, 29 Jul 2005 13:29:56 -0500

a)dude, I fully concur with you on a), b), and c). b)We should just kill everyone in NYC with or without machete carrying cards. c)Yes, above is just for sarcasm effect so please don't get all up on my ass on it. Thanks for your cooperation.

dude

Fri, 29 Jul 2005 11:58:41 -0500

a) Only people who take themselves way too seriously would have actually written what you just did. b) I'm actually a ninja - I can appear anywhere as anyone. c) I vote you remove the "Bright" from Brightliner.

Bruce Leroy

Fri, 29 Jul 2005 11:43:26 -0500

I am trained in the deadly art of Fuego de Culo. This was passed down through a prestigous line of taco chefs from Mexico. Any attacker comes near me, I incinerate them with the Asstec Breath of Death. And all I have to do is carry a spicy taco from Jackson Heights and a Bic lighter.

Brightliner

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 21:01:48 -0500

a) Only nitwits call nunchaku "nunchucks," shuriken "ninja stars" and bo "bo staffs." (Aside from the redundancy, any dictionary can tell you the correct plural form of "staff.") b) Funny, I thought "huh" posted that message. Unless you're one of those people so fond of your own writing that you have multiple handles so you can argue with yourself. c) Only in your own mind. Nobody else with a brain would do such a thing.

dude

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 17:30:26 -0500

Since when do sarcastic posts start with "Seriously though..."? a) When you're talking about nunchucks, ninja stars, and bo staffs b) When your handle is "dude" c) When you're being sarcastic.

Brightliner

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 16:36:48 -0500

Dude, Since when do sarcastic posts start with "Seriously though..."?

Max

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 16:06:21 -0500

One word- Shibumi

Dave H.

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 15:16:37 -0500

I walk around town with a cutlass tied to my belt. But I'm also always dressed as a pirate so cops just think I'm on my way to a costume party and the weapon's a fake. Arrrgh.

dude

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 15:15:15 -0500

Yes, and so are machine guns, hand grenades, nerve gas and nuclear weapons. Maybe we should lift all the prohibitions, by your reasoning. I thought that Gothamist readers were well-trained in the detection of sarcasm, but apparently not.

kwanito

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 15:08:46 -0500

One could also crap their pants when confronted by a maniac with a machete in hopes that the stench will keep the attacker at bay. Crap twice, if the maniac has a really thick, curly mustache.

Rose

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 15:08:35 -0500

How about a little yarn with those KNITTING NEEDLES!!!

Brightliner

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 15:04:52 -0500

Seriously though - expandable batons, nunchucks, bo-staffs, ninja stars, knife blades over 4 inches, slingshots, etc. are illegal in this city. WTF? Law-abiding citizens can't carry these things around, but criminals can! Yes, and so are machine guns, hand grenades, nerve gas and nuclear weapons. Maybe we should lift all the prohibitions, by your reasoning.

rev pays

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 14:42:49 -0500

what's with all this close contact stuff? Distance is your friend, that and I'm too old to fight a young guy. yes, you too will get old. Just spray the attacker with pepper spray and run away.

rev pays

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 14:42:25 -0500

what's with all this close contact stuff? Distance is your friend, that and I'm too old to fight a young guy. Just spray the attacker with pepper spray and run away.

dude

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 14:34:14 -0500

I had a friend who took Krav Maga, Israeli Kung Fu. He loved it, and some guy actually tried to start a fight with him on the street for no reason, and my friend did a quick takedown and nerve cluster strike. Seriously, and it gave my friend a chance to just slip away and avoid getting into more trouble The classes are taught several places in the city, and it only takes 6 weeks to get comfortable with some of the moves.... I've thought about it for fun. Then again, I could just carry a machete...

Kojak

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 14:16:09 -0500

I don't see the need to carry weapons. Just learn the fine art of Kung Fu or Ninjitsu and you should be well prepared for any attack. I find that the Tiger Claw fighting style is more then sufficient to subdue evil doers up to no good.

rev pays

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 14:10:08 -0500

Just carry Pepper Spray, it's legal for quite some time. You can buy it at your local pharmacy where they will log your purchase in to a book. Or, just go to any gun show out of state and get all the pepper spray, expandable batons, auto knives, brass knuckles labled as a paper weight and stun guns you want. Handguns are a no no, long guns legal outside of NYC, don't bring them here. I would stay with the pepper spray, all the others are too close contact. Oh, a machete is one of the best tools for clearing thick brush if you're in the woods. How else are you going to find that hidden water fall gem that's waiting for you after a long hike?

J

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 14:03:43 -0500

Man, it's a jungle out there. (Sorry. Someone had to.)

huh

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 14:01:21 -0500

Seriously though - expandable batons, nunchucks, bo-staffs, ninja stars, knife blades over 4 inches, slingshots, etc. are illegal in this city. WTF? Law-abiding citizens can't carry these things around, but criminals can! I like knowing I have something in my bag in case I need to tap the keg of whoop-ass, but what am I supposed to carry? I have a friend who ties a lock to the end of an athletic sock, 'cause who knows when you need to clock someone. Plus, you can always claim it's for the gym... I think that's the ticket for me. It's lighter than a 3 foot flashlight, too.

babu

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 13:58:33 -0500

I work out at a gym in Brooklyn. This is no Crunch--a lot of the kids who go there are Latin Kings. They've been telling me for a while that gangbangers in the neighborhood carry machetes. Easier to get than guns, apparently, and pretty damn tough-looking to boot. Doubt they give a rats about public safety statutes. Kids...go figure.

kwanito

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 13:53:39 -0500

I carry one of these so I can skewer machete-totin' misanthropes from a distance. It also comes in handy when I'm running late. I get all 'Crouching Tiger' on the subway: swipe my Metrocard and float down the stairs above the heads of all those commuters exiting the train I need to board. I usually get a seat, too.

Rocknrope

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 13:40:53 -0500

I've said it before - please limit your machete activity to only when the dead rise from the grave. Thanks.

wtf

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 13:28:05 -0500

Expandable batons AND nunchuks or illegal?? DAMN!!! What bout just walking around with a baseball bat with a nail sticking through the end?? Can I still carry that it my bag?

hr

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 13:25:44 -0500

Machette's?? WTF?? Was he Hutu or Tutsi? Is this africa? Who the f()ck uses a machette?

Brightliner

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 13:23:52 -0500

Yes, retractable batons are illegal in New York state, just like nunchaku. You can be arrested for criminal possession of a weapon if they stop you for a bag search on the subway.

rob

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 13:10:42 -0500

I carry a retractable baton in my bag (like this one: http://www.wle.com/products/W289.html). I never wondered if it's illegal. It's not a knife, just a miniature bo-stafff which retracts. What do you think?

fat stinking hog

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 13:02:31 -0500

I smell Machete Checkpoints soon. "Stop Maam MACHETE CHECK!"

a

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 12:59:00 -0500

This just goes to show you that if people are violent they will make do with whatever they have, be it guns, knives, rocks, bricks, cars.... Laws will only help to put violent people away, after the fact. There needs to be more attention paid to the root causes of violent behaviour.

Kojak

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 12:45:33 -0500

I carried my Samurai Sword home and the police didnt give me any problems. They probably didnt want to risk annoying me . . .

Brightliner

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 12:39:05 -0500

If you ran into a cop carrying your new machete, you'd be arrested instantly. Public Safety Statute 10-133 Formerly 436-5.1 Possession of knives or instruments. "It shall be unlawful for any person to carry on his or her person or have in such person's possession, in any public place, street or park any knife which has a blade length of four inches or more."

jon

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 12:29:26 -0500

Kids suck.