a)dude, I fully concur with you on a), b), and c).

b)We should just kill everyone in NYC with or without machete carrying cards.

c)Yes, above is just for sarcasm effect so please don't get all up on my ass on it. Thanks for your cooperation.

a) Only people who take themselves way too seriously would have actually written what you just did.

b) I'm actually a ninja - I can appear anywhere as anyone.

c) I vote you remove the "Bright" from Brightliner.

I am trained in the deadly art of Fuego de Culo. This was passed down through a prestigous line of taco chefs from Mexico. Any attacker comes near me, I incinerate them with the Asstec Breath of Death. And all I have to do is carry a spicy taco from Jackson Heights and a Bic lighter.

a) Only nitwits call nunchaku "nunchucks," shuriken "ninja stars" and bo "bo staffs." (Aside from the redundancy, any dictionary can tell you the correct plural form of "staff.")

b) Funny, I thought "huh" posted that message. Unless you're one of those people so fond of your own writing that you have multiple handles so you can argue with yourself.

c) Only in your own mind. Nobody else with a brain would do such a thing.

Since when do sarcastic posts start with "Seriously though..."?

a) When you're talking about nunchucks, ninja stars, and bo staffs

b) When your handle is "dude"

c) When you're being sarcastic.

Dude,

Since when do sarcastic posts start with "Seriously though..."?

One word- Shibumi

I walk around town with a cutlass tied to my belt. But I'm also always dressed as a pirate so cops just think I'm on my way to a costume party and the weapon's a fake. Arrrgh.

Yes, and so are machine guns, hand grenades, nerve gas and nuclear weapons. Maybe we should lift all the prohibitions, by your reasoning.

I thought that Gothamist readers were well-trained in the detection of sarcasm, but apparently not.

One could also crap their pants when confronted by a maniac with a machete in hopes that the stench will keep the attacker at bay. Crap twice, if the maniac has a really thick, curly mustache.

How about a little yarn with those KNITTING NEEDLES!!!

Seriously though - expandable batons, nunchucks, bo-staffs, ninja stars, knife blades over 4 inches, slingshots, etc. are illegal in this city. WTF? Law-abiding citizens can't carry these things around, but criminals can!

Yes, and so are machine guns, hand grenades, nerve gas and nuclear weapons. Maybe we should lift all the prohibitions, by your reasoning.

what's with all this close contact stuff?

Distance is your friend, that and I'm too old to fight a young guy. yes, you too will get old.

Just spray the attacker with pepper spray and run away.

what's with all this close contact stuff?

Distance is your friend, that and I'm too old to fight a young guy.

Just spray the attacker with pepper spray and run away.

I had a friend who took Krav Maga, Israeli Kung Fu. He loved it, and some guy actually tried to start a fight with him on the street for no reason, and my friend did a quick takedown and nerve cluster strike. Seriously, and it gave my friend a chance to just slip away and avoid getting into more trouble

The classes are taught several places in the city, and it only takes 6 weeks to get comfortable with some of the moves.... I've thought about it for fun. Then again, I could just carry a machete...

I don't see the need to carry weapons.

Just learn the fine art of Kung Fu or Ninjitsu and you should be well prepared for any attack.

I find that the Tiger Claw fighting style is more then sufficient to subdue evil doers up to no good.

Just carry Pepper Spray, it's legal for quite some time. You can buy it at your local pharmacy where they will log your purchase in to a book.

Or, just go to any gun show out of state and get all the pepper spray, expandable batons, auto knives, brass knuckles labled as a paper weight and stun guns you want. Handguns are a no no, long guns legal outside of NYC, don't bring them here.

I would stay with the pepper spray, all the others are too close contact.

Oh, a machete is one of the best tools for clearing thick brush if you're in the woods. How else are you going to find that hidden water fall gem that's waiting for you after a long hike?

Man, it's a jungle out there.

(Sorry. Someone had to.)

Seriously though - expandable batons, nunchucks, bo-staffs, ninja stars, knife blades over 4 inches, slingshots, etc. are illegal in this city. WTF? Law-abiding citizens can't carry these things around, but criminals can! I like knowing I have something in my bag in case I need to tap the keg of whoop-ass, but what am I supposed to carry?

I have a friend who ties a lock to the end of an athletic sock, 'cause who knows when you need to clock someone. Plus, you can always claim it's for the gym... I think that's the ticket for me. It's lighter than a 3 foot flashlight, too.

I work out at a gym in Brooklyn. This is no Crunch--a lot of the kids who go there are Latin Kings. They've been telling me for a while that gangbangers in the neighborhood carry machetes. Easier to get than guns, apparently, and pretty damn tough-looking to boot. Doubt they give a rats about public safety statutes. Kids...go figure.