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The NY Post is upset that NYC ranks #8 on Forbes' list of top cities for singles, with Boston, DC, San Francisco, and LA ahead of us. But what kills the most is that Denver-Boulder is #1. The problem is that Forbes calculated the list by using factors that are ringers for New York like "nightlife" and "culture" as well as "cost of living alone." And if anyone here has ever dated someone else here, you have probably met your fair share of roommates or have had to introduce your roommates. Gothamist is content with being #8, because not only is it a lucky number in certain cultures, we'd probably plotz with all that Rocky Mountain air. And besides, our crappy dating stories are more fun for our encoupled friends!
Read Forbes' listing for NYC.
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Being married or in a serious couple is so much easier in New York than being single. Rent is cheaper, groceres are cheaper, etc. NYC is still definitely a single person's city in many ways, but it's getting harder and harder (unless you don't mind living with three other people in a junior 4).
Lots of single people in NYC? Yes. Easy to meet them? No.
We're number 8 because we have Andrea Peyser. She scared everyone out of town with that scowl.
it's also a tough city for guys because a lot of the women want to meet wealthy investment bankers and move out to the suburbs and be taken care of. if you're a normal guy who hasn't become rich yet, then you're out of luck.
Not true, Carl.
I'm sure your defeatist attitude has nothing to do with it Carl. Because the only thing women love more than men who generalize with broad strokes, are those who do so in order to veil their own insecurities.
Go Broncos!
Awww.... "nice guys finish last." Boo hoo.
Question, have any hook-ups happened under the Gothamist umbrella?
It's #1 for guys and probably #50 for women. I feel sorry for what most women have to consider as a date in NYC. And likewise I go out with women I have no God given right to be dating. It's not balanced.
i disagree, chooby. women hold the cards as far as dating in nyc goes. they get taken out, don't pay, control the pace of the relationship, and have their pick and choose of guys. trust me, that girl that isn't calling you back is doing so because she can't make up her mind between you and three other men.
I guess I feel a guy should take the girl out. And the guy should pay. And the girl should control the pace. And a girl should pick and chose and make up her mind who to go out with. Having said that NY women are prettier, easier to talk to, better dressed, more sophisticated, funnier, and more fun than most of the cities I've lived in.
women only hold the cards if they are hott. If they are uggos like star jones they have to be rich. If they are uggos and poor forget it.
sure, a guy should be a gentleman, but sometimes i feel like i'm being auditioned rather than simply going out and having fun. i think that people (men and women included) need to loosen up a lot when it comes to dating. it's not your high pressure job, it's a drink and dinner with somebody who is (hopefully) interesting.
I've lived in NYC since 1992 and have had less than 5 relationships in that time (I'm 34 and fairly attractive). Believe me, it's not for lack of trying. I've attempted everything to meet a nice guy at this point, but everything has failed thus far. In all honesty, from a woman's point of view I can't believe NYC ranked as high as it did -- and no, I'm not a gold-digger.
I've noticed more single women & men in their 30s living here compared to other cities.
I'm a good-looking guy, who's smart, interesting and modest, and I've had my pick of women in the past. I went on a date once where we "bumped into" a group of her friends at a bar, sho checked me out and pretended to be surprised we were there.
She called me back, so I guess I met the "grade". Unfortunately, she didn't with that lame move, so I dropped her like a wet sack of potatoes and moved onto the next slice.
NYC's a great place to meet chicks, but only if your hot, smart and modest like me.
Jon, let me introduce you to Gwin...
Alvy Singer: Here, you look like a very happy couple, um, are you?
Female street stranger: Yeah.
Alvy Singer: Yeah? So, so, how do you account for it?
Female street stranger: Uh, I'm very shallow and empty and I have no ideas and nothing interesting to say.
Male street stranger: And I'm exactly the same way.
I just got an apartment in manhattan and landed my first job out of college- I'm single and reading this thread is like a roller coaster.
"I've noticed more single women & men in their 30s living here compared to other cities."
This really says it all, and I agree with the observation. I'm in my late 30s, and it appears that if you haven't hooked up by your late 20s, the going gets pretty rough for men, and SUPER rough for women in NYC (I'm a man btw).
Let's be honest, men hold the cards in NYC. There are just more women here than men (a statistical fact). As for paying for dates and such, really at this point, the only guys I know doing that are the ones with no personality who only know how to let the wallet speak for them. As for the NUMEROUS gold digging women, I've found that they mostly get what they deserve: unorginal/uninteresting slubs who will mostly only be good for paying their bills--whoopee, what a great life.
Personally, I think new york sucks for dating. I make great money, I'm tall, cute, dress well, but the thing is, after you get out of college, it's kind of hard to really meet people that are really into the same things you are. Going to certain events and such where people like the same music/art/etc. isn't really a reliable meeting place. That's why, although most don't want to talk about it, A LOT of people in new york do the online dating mambo. Which mostly sucks.
I think new york is a good place to build a career. As for finding the right person, I'd almost say anywhere is in the US is better for meeting someone you're likely to marry and stay with for a long time.
P.S. WARNING: DO NOT go somewhere, find your dream woman and then bring her to New York. This city changes people in ways that are often negative and hard to reverse.
i second that warning! i made the mistake of moving here with my lovely girlfriend. we lasted another year.
I moved here without my girlfriend (we broke up before I moved), she moved here, we started dating a year later, moved in together a year after that and got married. So, NY does change people but not always for the worst. Of course, she was actually from NY, so maybe I'm the one who changed...
Anyway, as far as dating for my single friends go, I have to admit that I know several people for whom J-Date was successful. Scary yet true.
As a woman, it can be hard to find a decent guy for a number of reasons. One is that guys have fallen prey to the Sex and the City lie, which is that all women always want to have sex like men. That's true less often than we'd like you to believe. We do tend to want lasting relationships, commitment, blahdy blahdy blah, rather than animal sex.
Also, there are a lot more women than men, so there's a lot more competition--you have to constantly be more beautiful, well-dressed, well-endowed, witty, and fun than all the other girls, otherwise, why should he stick around? Add to the fact that such a large population of the acting/dancing/modelling professions live or are based here in New York, and it becomes harder than ever to be "average" and find love.
I second what another poster said about it being hard to find people with similar interests once you're out of college. You don't necessarily have lots in common with your coworkers, or even if you do, you don't necessarily want to put all your eggs in one basket. Meeting people costs a lot of money whether it be something like dance lessons or kickball teams or going out to bars every night.
And I think another huge thing is that women have a lack of trust. I don't WANT to talk to some guy who starts chatting me up on the street. I'm only marginally more willing to talk to someone in a bar. I don't know who you people are, and this is a city full of crazies. A lot of women get comments from men all day long, and we know that most of it's bullshit--he'd say it to anyone in a skirt (or pajamas, as the case may be, which is always a dead giveaway that it's insincere) so it just makes us distrust your flattery even more.
What's the solution? I have no idea. I was fortunate enough to meet someone at a previous job that I click very well with. Things are great, but I remember being single. If things don't work out between us, I hope I don't fall into the "but it's so much better than being on the market" thing we women fall for so often.
I'm another "successful online dating" person. I met a guy through online personals right before I moved here (Swoon, back in the dot com boom year of 1999). He and I dated for a few years, and married last summer. If I'd had to meet prospective boyfriends here, I'm not sure how successful I'd be at it. Heck, I have a very difficult time meeting/making friends in NYC - my single friends confirm the awfulness of meeting promising dating material here.
New York isn't a toxic place for relationships. It's a toxic place for timid, sheltered suburbanites who can't hack it. New York in particular isn't your problem. Highly populated cities are your problem. Go find some dates back in Smalltown, USA. It'll be easier for dates to give you attention, because there are fewer people better than you in that small pond.
Interesting commentary. At the risk of sounding like a conceited ass, I've never had trouble meeting and keeping guys in NYC (I'm female). I'm attractive but...we're in NYC and I'm a dime a dozen. I think a big reason why is because I don't eat s*** when asked to and don't treat single men like they're some endangered species that needs to be treated with kid gloves. The game-playing in New York has always astounded me. If some guy (or woman!) doesn't treat you as he should and you're pissed, confront him. Don't bitch to your friends about him and then work your entire schedule around his free time and make it appear coincidental. If you demand respect, chances are, you'll get it.