This is shocking. Who is it who is forcing so many New Yorkers at gunpoint into Starbucks stores? ON the other hand, if they aren't being forced into Starbucks, but go in because they want to, then who really gives a crap what the sizes are called? I don't see how this "issue" compares with the other ones. Sounds pretty whiny to me.

Here's another one:

Everyone online has to be anonymous, using dopey online names to sign in.

I passive-aggressively use my own name at all times online.

www.forgotten-ny.com

The most effective way to be passive aggressive with telemarketers -not that I condone it, mind you- is to actually keep them on the phone because their pay and advancement (heh) depend on the number of sales-per-hour. The less time spent for each sale, the better.

So you keep them on the phone - letting them do their pitch, asking questions and otherwise sounding interested. It's a better middle finger because if you hang up, they can move on to their next call. Again, I don't do this, but I'm just saying, ya know?

My passive aggressive thing is if I'm trying to get off a train and someone on the outside isn't waiting for the passengers to get off. I either act dumb, keep blocking them and give a confused "How am I supposed to get off the train?" look, or square my shoulder and bump the hell out of them.

BTW Kerry, Urbina says: "The slow driver in fast traffic, the shopper with 50 coupons at the front of the checkout line and the telemarketer calling at dinner all inflict life's thousand little lashes. But some see these infractions as precious opportunities, rare chances for retribution in the face of forces beyond our control". SO he is referring to more than just corporate annoyances.

wouldn't sending those annoying subscription cards back potentially just make the mail slower? of course, a lot of people would have to send them back blank, but there are millions of magazine subscribers. now that's even more annoying than the stupid cards.

Hey Curmudgeon, i think i know you. do you work at Harper?

I think Urbina's article is referring to those little things in the big system that we as individuals seem to be powerless to change. He is not talking about those annoyances that we can confront upfront. It's an important distinction. Loud neighbors, blocked cars, pole leaners, and comedians are all within our range of changing by effective communication. The four types of communication are passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive. Guess which one is most effective. If you're passive-aggressive, you can't expect much change from anyone, but you may feel some internal satisfaction. That's why I ask for a medium at Starbucks. But I still love their coffee. And their chocolate chip cookies.

>>>I answer those annoying comedy club hawkers “Do you like to laugh/comedy?” question one of three ways:

1. No, I only like snuff films.

2. No, I like to cry.

3. That’s an incredibly personal question

Like religions that resort to recruiting people on the street, if these clubs were offering anything worthwhile, they wouldn’t have to annoy people on the street.>>>

Heh. One of these guys actually got in my way one day, and wouldn't let me pass. When he asked if I like to laugh, my first instinct was to say "I don't know, will it be funny when I kick you in the balls?"

He moved.

You all are a bunch of wussies!

(I'm passive aggressive too)

when a man sitting next to me on the subway spreads his legs really wide so I'm squashed up against the barrier or other person, i like to stand up and sit in another seat so people think he smells or is a perv.

I like to answer to phone and not say anything. That way, the telemarketers just hung up and my regular callers know enough to say hi first now.

My aunt purposely puts broken glass under the tires of the cars that block her driveway. My mother left a polite little note on a piece of paper on a car blocking ours. My plan is to write a polite little note in lipstick on the windshield. There is no way to "work out" with someone not to block your driveway.

Well, normally I like to keep my aggression active rather than passive but sometimes, to handle my commute and the assholes riding with me (face it, they're all assholes when it's crowded), I whip out my notebook on the subway and jot down some nasty comments aimed at the offenders. Ones like "where did you get that gross sense of entitlement, miss? It's darling. Too bad it clashes with your whore costume." It helps to some degree.

Another way you also can often get around those automated voice menus -- for instance I know this works with Sprint -- is to speak the word "Representative" into the phone.

The important thing to be aware of here, though, is that most times nothing happens the first time; that sickeningly polite automated voice just keeps chattering on about menu options and banal special offers like some worst case telemarketer nightmare. You know, the kind who just keeps reading the prepared script even after you've very politely told them maybe three or four times "thank you, I'm not interested"?

Anyway, that's where the fun part comes in if you're so far gone into passive aggressive bliss-world that you can no longer confront real people but instead derive pleasure from bullying about inanimate virtual objects; because what you do then is that in this bitchy, chiding voice you repeat the command, "Representative!"

At that point the "voice" typically pauses; you can almost detect a catch and a swallow in the dastardly automaton's throat. One beat... Haha! Two beats... You've got it now! Three beats... Then the "voice" comes back, almost timidly: "Excuse me while I connect you to the next available representative." Ah, yes, there is indeed no sweeter joy for the chronically and insipidly passive aggressive than this fleeting yet triumphal victory of man over machine.

i am an evangelist for this particular way of reducing starbucks' coffee cost. take sugar lots of it (i like the brown stuff). i have started so many people on this habit i've lost count.

clearly it's a trend, now starbucks only puts out small handfuls of condiments -- but you can still find the back ups. they are located on shelves behind doors in the sugar stations.

So what "passive-aggression is lame" is really saying is that telemarketers and people who walk slow are retards:

"Who are you to feel pleasure from belitting telemarketers? ... While we're at it, let's push slow-walking retards."

My favorite way to ease my passive aggression is to get on Gothamist and anonymously accuse other people of being yuppies, shopping at chain stores, and being from the Midwest.

starbucks helps mainstream fair trade and organic coffee. they also contribute to community causes and treat employees well and encourage them to become involved in community activities with contribution matching. they essentially ignited the american coffee market as it is today opening the door for the mom & pop shops. they're still a corporation, but it's a corporate world and having at least one slightly more responsible member that's 'on your side' could be seen as a good thing.

i say 'small'.

Anyone here ever have a passive-aggressive roommate?

I had one who hid the toothpaste from me, because she was upset with me for using more than 50% worth of toilet paper squares. Her justification "It's MY toothpaste! I bought it!"

why was the article placed in the new york/region section of the nytimes??? i'm annoyed enough to write a vicious email full of rhetoric!