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Last night on the Apprentice, Audrey got fired after royally screwing up the creation of a miniature golf course. However, almost an hour before making her tearful exit, the busty real estate agent from Utah gave a speech that will live long in the memories of Apprentice fans everywhere (this is the Gothamist official transcription):
Chris, by no means did I come here for anybody to treat me or to talk to me as though I am a child! I, I am at where I am today because my parents both went to prison! I was left with nothing! My childhood was taken from me- everything was taken from me! I was living out of a car (begins crying). At 17 I had nothing! Nothing at all to my name! Nothing! I am where I'm at today because I have crawled and begged! As a child, girls hated me because I was beautiful! I wanted to scar my face because I was so beautiful! I wanted to be ugly so they wouldn't hate me! I have tried and tried and tried my entire life for people to just to accept me. And by no means is Craig going to sit in the boardroom, or are you going to sit in the boardroom, or John is going to say that I don't pull my weight. I do not fail!There are times in every person's life that call for an impassioned monologue- for instance, when attempting to get out of a parking ticket, or breaking up with a significant other, or attempting to secure a spot on Apprentice Season 4. We humbly suggest that you print out this speech and memorize it- because you'll never come up with anything better than this. [Related: clips from tonight's show. Official Audrey bio, with startling fact- she made her first $15,000 by selling her parents house while they were in prison on a fraud beef!]
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It must have been rough to grow up so "beautiful". Why must she be cursed with such good looks?
I mean...come on.. cry me a river...
Also, another thing was...did you notice how Trump was coming onto Erin on the golf course? "You have such a delicate swing...delicate swing [trails off]" Erin and the other girl gave him the weirdest look...
Despite her claims of being tragically beautiful, the problem is: she's a "two-face." From one angle, she's quite nice to look at. From another, that underbite turns her into a freakish gorilla.
I have one word for Audrey: Demeaningful.
It was plain for anyone watching the show she obviously setting up john to take any blame for her mistakes. And bringing in angie thinking of her as a friend to help her in the boardroom was shooting herself in the foot.. But she was smart enough to seem to act like she was trying to play the reality show game, but this show isn't survivor and you don't make alliances. One of the worst of Donald, judging from past shows, is bringing anyone back in the boardroom who does not belong there. He always gets pissed at people for doing that and i think has fired the leader every time they make that mistake.
Does the way that Trump fired her bother anyone else? Agreeing with the a**hole John that she is beautiful, he then says that looks just aren't good enough. Huh? When did she ever imply they were? Dude, even if you think she's attractive, don't bring it up! What is this, 1975?
I learned much from Audrey. In her taxi ride away from Trump and towards a spread in FHM, she said something I will never forget: "Those of us who walk away winning win, something something something. At least Mr. Trump said I was pretty."
Thanks, Audrey. You have scarred my heart, not only because you are marginally good-looking, but because your solipsism and ability to string made-up words together in a haphazard pattern of nonsense and blather to eventually form a sociopathic screed makes me feel that maybe I too can be a successful leader. Now all I need is a bunch of retards in clown suits, and I am one step closer to fulfilling my dream: working an entry-level job for a bankrupt misogynist.
Yeah, like those supermodels who had to survive those shitty teenage years where they say they were too tall and too skinny and no boy asked them out and they took their brother or cousin to the prom 'cause no one asked them.
Actually the emphasis on her looks were brought on by herself. In her profile, she states: "Audrey is outwardly opinionated and not afraid use sexuality to get ahead. She proclaims, 'Looks get you there, brains keep you there.'"
Obviously, she forgot the second part of her statement.
Yeah, I think she deserved to get fired, despite the utter brilliance of her monologue, but the way she was fired made my skin crawl a little. I agree with Rusty... her looks are irrelevant.
By the way, looks DO matter. The don't ONLY matter, but they DO matter.
Does everyone here remember where they were when they were 22? Maybe she didn't walk away with the job or even the win but she was good enough, intelligent enough and had the integrity not to call them names when she left, write them all off and call them backstabbers when she left or blame anyone else. All of which was done in the taxi confessional by others older than her, more educated than her and supposedly more business savvy than her. What this episode really demonstrated was what a winner she really is.
I could feel myself getting stupider as I watched this episode of the apprentice. BTW: Have you noticed that the more educated each the candidate is, the less camera time they receive? It's true throughout the series.
Thanks for the spoiler. You are now "un-bookmarked"