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Oh, Liza with a Z...you've made the tabloids happy during this slow week between holidays as everyone is reporting that you were hospitalized after falling out of your bed, "apparently intoxicated." Apparently EMS picked you up from your East 69th Street apartment, and your rep is only saying that you're undergoing tests and you're under observation. But, please, Liza, you can't surprise us, as only a lush could marry the scary corpse-that's-alive David Gest, though realizing that you'd marry him probably didn't do anything to decrease your yen for liquor. And it makes the stories from your bodyguard about how you allegedly forced him to have sex with you all the more believable because you apparently super strong with some hooch. Gothamist just hopes you get better, because you're funny as Lucille on Arrested Development, and we rather laugh with you than at you...but we'll take what we can get.
And in other substance abuse news, George Carlin is checking himself into drug rehab for wine and vicodin abuse.
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Yes. Slow week. Not like there was any sort of natural disaster to report on.
The piece refers to it being a slow week for tabloids, not the world in general.
um, this story needs to be proofread. it does not make sense.
Slow week for the tabloids? Do you know how many models and celebrities were vacationing in Thailand?
Oh, a, we're on a Liza-like bender ourselves.